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STABB666's Journal

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10 entries this month
 

The egg - by Andy Weir

21:23 Sep 23 2024
Times Read: 188


You were on your way home when you died.



It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.



And that’s when you met me.



“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”



“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.



“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”



“Yup,” I said.



“I… I died?”



“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.



You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”



“More or less,” I said.



“Are you god?” You asked.



“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”



“My kids… my wife,” you said.



“What about them?”



“Will they be all right?”



“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”



You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.



“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”



“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”



“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”



“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”



“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”



You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”



“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”



“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”



“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”



I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.



“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”



“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”



“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”



“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”



“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”



“Where you come from?” You said.



“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”



“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”



“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”



“So what’s the point of it all?”



“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”



“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.



I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”



“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”



“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”



“Just me? What about everyone else?”



“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”



You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”



“All you. Different incarnations of you.”



“Wait. I’m everyone!?”



“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.



“I’m every human being who ever lived?”



“Or who will ever live, yes.”



“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”



“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.



“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.



“And you’re the millions he killed.”



“I’m Jesus?”



“And you’re everyone who followed him.”



You fell silent.



“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”



You thought for a long time.



“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”



“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”



“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”



“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”



“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”



“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”



And I sent you on your way.


COMMENTS

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STABB666
STABB666
21:28 Sep 23 2024

It's my time.





MisterSacrifice
MisterSacrifice
21:50 Sep 23 2024

If we were all the same soul, interesting perspective to think about...





STABB666
STABB666
22:51 Sep 23 2024

We are all just many facets of a universe trying to understand itself.





 

A week in the life...

03:25 Sep 23 2024
Times Read: 261


The days are flying by. So fast, with so much happening in them, I can hardly digest one thing when the next is tee'd up and ready to be addressed.

I knew that I was going to the right place and validation of that decision was immediate.

The knowledge, advice, support and most of all, trust I've shared has been a total vindication of the objective. The only one that matters- "seek your own truth".

And so I did, and have found it. Most of it. Still some locked in a box, but still looking at that. Update on hypnosis three is really uneventful. The therapist is going to consult and we'll try something different on session 4 to get into that lockbox.

Had a really great visit. Glad I could be there.

Beyond that, we dove into metaphysics, quantum entanglement, string theory, religion, sexuality, trucks, mixing techniques, AI, getting high...


COMMENTS

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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
16:38 Sep 23 2024

One day at a time. :D





Cartomancer
Cartomancer
17:17 Sep 23 2024

😁





 

Timing, coincidence, deliberate?

16:56 Sep 18 2024
Times Read: 351


I made my first poll in 17 years. Just a curiosity, but not idle. I'm genuinely interested, since I've bumped into a few people who've expressed similar feels over the past couple of months.

https://www.vampirerave.com/modules/polls/polls_all.php?group=VR


COMMENTS

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
20:10 Sep 18 2024

Yeah hope more people. Start using all off VRs different tags





CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
21:19 Sep 18 2024

*goes to check out the poll*





 

Gonna work the straw...

01:54 Sep 18 2024
Times Read: 410


Still traveling for work, sadly. I used to have to travel to Kansas a lot in a previous job, so it's sort of odd to be back here again in this one.

It's kind of nice around this area. I'm kind of curious if some of the people I used to work with are still around, or if they've moved on to some greener pasture.

The only complaint I really have is that they think the barbecue is actually good around here.


COMMENTS

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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
02:12 Sep 18 2024

I face the same issue with the bbq in NC.... every time we are traveling for work and are in the Carolinas... I can't eat bbq... just eww.





STABB666
STABB666
02:20 Sep 18 2024

Yep. I don't think they understand how to use a smoker correctly





CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
02:30 Sep 18 2024

Nor make the sauce correctly!





STABB666
STABB666
02:44 Sep 18 2024

Nope. And what the fuck is with the vinegar sauce?





Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
03:35 Sep 18 2024

o.o





 

I think I was about 28 here...

23:30 Sep 06 2024
Times Read: 570


Someone, I shall name no names, but they are a Master Vampire. ;) Went and found this little gem that I had forgotten about:
STABB666.

It's an older photo of me. Only filter is the sepia tone at time of taking. I look so damn young without the beard.


COMMENTS

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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
02:11 Sep 18 2024

*tries to picture the beard*





Nekirena
Nekirena
03:31 Sep 18 2024

For once I am innocent! Ha!





STABB666
STABB666
16:58 Sep 18 2024

I do have a picture with the beard....





 

A dream, a dream, my kingdom for a dream...

12:59 Sep 04 2024
Times Read: 660


I know that I dream, but I've never been able to recall them for more than a few seconds after waking. Well, what do ya know? A dream that I remember. And somewhat of a vivid one too.

I'm driving down an alleyway too fast.
I start slowing down and pull to the left to avoid an obstacle.
Another driver coming from the other direction does the the same.
She is female. It's difficult to tell if she's young or old, but seems harmless, innocent.
We crash together, bumping the front corners of our cars.
it a slow speed crash and pretty minor damage.
We pull into a garage just to the side to inspect the vehicles and do the insurance thing, etc.
She has no insurance.
Seems like an nice lady, but can't quite define the features. She's shy and nervous. Shaken by the experience.
I seem fine now.
I go away for a while and get a ride back to pick up my car.
There's this weird racist dude in the garage yard.
He wants to fight me, but he's clumsy, he backs off and I can't get a clean hit on him, then he's gone.
I pay out of pocket to fix the car(s).
I wake up.

I could read soo much into this. lol

Brain sorting is funny like that.


COMMENTS

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What is hypnosis?

04:58 Sep 04 2024
Times Read: 683


Hypnosis refers to a state or condition in which the subject responds highly to suggestions. The hypnotized individual seems to follow instructions in an uncritical, automatic fashion and attends closely only to those aspects of the environment made relevant by the hypnotist.

If the client is profoundly responsive, they hear, see, feel, smell, and taste the suggestions given, even though these may also be provided. However, these may directly contradict the actual stimuli' influence on the subject. Furthermore, memory and awareness of self can be altered by suggestions. These may be extended post-hypnotically into the individual's subsequent waking activity. It is as if ideas given during hypnosis define the individual's perception of the real world. In this sense, the phenomenon is often described as a " Believed in Fantasy."


COMMENTS

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Apples 'n grapes ain't cutting it.

04:29 Sep 04 2024
Times Read: 693


I've made a terrible(?) mistake. lol
I've gone cold turkey a few times. It's never fun, but once over the hump, it's sort of liberating, or at least it used to be. I'm not sure I can enjoy the benefits of a clean system like I used to.
The mistake? Sugar. The processed stuff, not natural fructose. OMFG this is a hell of a craving and want to eat a bag of it right now you goddam mf.

I have a sweet tooth and have a love of dark chocolate. I was two days in before I realized.

All this isn't permanent- it's just till I get over a bunch of tests and stuff. It does help to be able to come back to certain things in moderation. Like only 3 cups of coffee a day instead of an entire pot...


COMMENTS

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Quoting Skippy here

03:13 Sep 02 2024
Times Read: 916


In my awesome magnificence, I was actually able to claim my YouTube channel. I cannot begin explain how difficult this was. Suffice to say that recalling the exact passphrase for a user account created 17 years ago while I was high as a kite for a system that no longer exists but for a user/pass table on a 3rd party federated system was challenging. But the reward has been at least a smile and a fuck yeah bitches. I told ya I'd beat Google down a back alley. ;)

This was after spending an inordinate amount of time going in circles trying to link this and that and find a back way to crack in. Turns out I'm actually really dumb and just needed to recall something from when I was 7 years old instead. Well, that's no mean feat either for many other reasons.

Now all I need is some actual content.

Not sure whether to go full here I am video, and if so, how raw to go down on it. Like no makeup and shit, or to go disembodied voiceover guy.

Suggestions on a postcard. Winner gets a free subs to my channel. :)


COMMENTS

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Detox time!

15:17 Sep 01 2024
Times Read: 927


Detox is the most not fun thing a person can do. Looking forward to it. Haha.

Took a detox bath last night in a mixture of;

2 cups sea salt
2 cups baking soda
1 cup borax
2 cups bath salts

This is not a suggested list for anyone, just what I was told to try.

I'll get a system flush from the drugstore later today.

So this means since I've already stopped alcohol, drugs, smoking, sodas, unhealthy foods in general and started eating fresh fruit, veg, proteins, it will make sure that upcoming tests are as accurate as possible to be certain nothing can be influencing false positives.

If I get through the next few weeks being told I'm healthy, I might lose my mind. lol


COMMENTS

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