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A viral infection of a mammary duct in my breast (infection caused armpit lymph to swell) and a blood clot that broke from the laser ablation on April 1st caused the whole shebang. No prescription, just time. Watch out for fevers, additional lumps, any nausea, additional unexplained bruising, etc.
Hope it's just menopause. Maybe doc can give you something to help you feel better. It's a bitch, I totally know what you are going through. I had an early one myself.
12:39 May 23 2011 Times Read: 849
9am appointment this morning. It will be flu or something similar. Yep.
There are too many things I want to do, people I want to meet, to have to make time for anything else.
::stuffs the Pollyanna in her purse:: Let's go, kid.
I have no idea. I am going to see my doc tomorrow at 9am. I am ... just confused. I don't want to think about it. It could be so many things, MOST of them relatively innocuous. There's my Pollyanna! Thank you. I'd been hunting for one, but my head was on the hamster wheel of doom.
Pollyanna - There are so many relatively innocuous things which could be going on. Percentages say - it is likely one of them. Go, go, gadget percentages!
17:28 May 21 2011 Times Read: 888
So I got undressed to take a shower.
I looked in the mirror and noticed a black and red bruise the size of my palm on my left breast - the same one much abused in earlier entries. This shocked me, as it was not there last night when I showered, and I've not had anyone biting or rough-housing with me (more's the pity there, folks).
I poked and prodded at the bruised booby - and surprisingly, there was no pain. None at all, no sensation at all, even. But ... there is another lump, about the size of a quarter.
I am back to the oncology ward at the South Texas Cancer Research Center on Monday morning to see Doc Hadnott. Please be another benign adenoma.
Why in hell is there a huge bruise? That just confuses the hell out of me.
Dammit! The rapture is at 6pm. I just put a turkey in the oven. It' won't be done until about 6:15. ... Think I'll be able to take it with me? OH NO! THE GIBLET GRAVY! Wait ... 6pm Eastern or what? This is a very poorly organized event.
I have a mantra of complaints this morning. It is ALL going to be TMI girl stuff.
........
Do NOT say you weren't warned.
I've mentioned before that I am starting early menopause, right? Right. Well, yesterday my cycle started
(surprise!)
with a big enough hormonal shift I immediately got one of the worst headaches I've had in a long time. Coupled with that, one of menopause's other little fun surprises decided to spring itself - pH shift in my vaginal tract causing - wait for it - YAY! a yeast infection!
So: migraine - check. Yeast infection (feeling like I've been kicked in the crotch with sandpaper boots) - check. Menstrual flow heavy enough to float a small house boat - check. Retaining enough water to assist with portage for that house boat - check. Having to wear a friggin PAD because you cannot wear a tampon with a yeast infection - check. Feeling like I am riding a horse with mashed potatoes between my legs - mushy check. Feeling like a teased rattle snake - snappy check.
The Pollyanna? ... Umm. There has to be one. The Pollyanna ... I am breathing. In a week this will be behind me. Hopefully YOU are laughing.
Uh... uuuuuh...Polyanna.. when your body is done changing, you'll never have to see that rotten bitch aunt Flo again? We can have a funeral/party if you want. ;)
I dunno, Phoenician...that's a pretty damn good one. I could really get into a death celebration for Ol' Aunt Flo. I'll bring the finger sandwiches and iced tea.
Does she eat a lot of moths-I think those might be some of the most stinky cat farts!
12:52 May 10 2011 Times Read: 1,032
I finally figured out why my left shoulder has been giving me such gyp the past few months. The joint was ever so slightly out of socket. It popped back in this morning in the shower. Pain followed IMMEDIATELY by that whole body "Aahhh!" feeling, and restoration of full range of motion for the joint and scrambling to pick up the shampoo before it all came out of the bottle.
Today will be good. It has no choice. I already pulled a Mel Gibson in the shower. Right?
That phrase brings back a memory. A long time ago, an English friend of mine (male) sent me a book I'd been wanting. Lo and behold, one of the words in it was "rogered." I had no idea what it meant from the context, so I asked this guy what it meant. He was incredulous. "You're kidding, right?" I wasn't, so he set me straight. Honestly, I thought it had something to do with pirates....jolly roger and all that. :P
19:05 May 08 2011 Times Read: 1,088
Is it just me ... or do any of the rest of you get tired of always having to be the responsible party, of always having to be the adult, of always having to make the call?
I am a responsible, competent, confident, intelligent woman ... Is it a betrayal of this, if I do truly desire to relinquish all control now and again? I want someone else to make sure the lights stay on, the water flows, there is food in the house, the phones work and the door gets replaced, the yard gets mowed, the shed is fixed, the cats are vaccinated ...
I want someone to be willing to take care of me every now and then. To ... be the strong one.
I need a break. I need a strong partner, mentally, emotionally, spiritually ... Well, I don't need one. But ... I really do want one. =/
Faugh. "Feminism." Why? It seems so self defeating.
How about ... honest to gods true equality of opportunity, of effort, of tandem living? Of pulling in the same harness, and being enough for each other that one can pick up the slack when the other needs it, regardless of stereotypical roles?
I don't mind being the responsible person most of the time ... But I want a break from it. I do. ::sigh::
I have no idea where I was going with this, besides a self pitying oh poor me rant.
YES. Sometimes I get tired of always having to be the responsible adult, at work, and with my "former" husband. It is irritating that you do so much for people that they "expect" it, and then you're stuck with it for life.
Scott helps- he gives me that space to be helpless without making me feel like I'm weak. He just takes over now and then. It helps. ALOT.
And you may not have kids, but Ima wishing you happy mother's day anyway, because while you guys aren't really my mom, sometimes you take just as good a care of people around here as any mom. And I love you for it.
I am having the most amazing conversation with someone who truly captures my brain. She rocks. The questions she is asking are helping me to crystallize a good many things I knew - but just didn't know how to say - if that makes sense.
o_O Nah, it's not like that. But - I have never made any qualms about the fact that I have absolutely no gender preference in a partner. It's the mind that catches me.
01:46 May 06 2011 Times Read: 1,149
I sometimes wonder if I ever let anyone see the depths I have, or whether all I ever present is the shallow me?
I am a few bricks short of a load ... and it is good. :P
22:36 May 01 2011 Times Read: 1,220
I am really happy about being excited to go to the gym again. I have started pushing myself again, instead of just going through the motions.
I think I might have, just a little, broken through that self-conscious, self-defeating, self-sabotaging fear-wall I have. I don't think it's gone for good ... But I think a may now be a few bricks short of a load.
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