The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Billy Mays, the burly, boisterous pitchman known for selling products such as OxiClean and Orange Glo, has died at the age of 50.



Tampa police report Mays’ wife found him unresponsive Sunday morning. A fire rescue crew arrived but pronounced him dead at 7:45 a.m., reports The Associated Press.



While it is unclear how he died, the pop culture icon was hit on the head during a rough landing while on an airplane, Mays’ wife told investigators, and didn’t feel well when before he went to bed that night.



Mays was among the passengers on a flight that landed roughly Saturday afternoon at Tampa International Airport, U.S. Airways confirmed. The landing left debris on the runway after reportedly blowing its front tires.



A Tampa Bay television station interviewed Mays after the incident.



“All of a sudden as we hit you know it was just the hardest hit, all the things from the ceiling started dropping,” Mays told MyFox. “It hit me on the head, but I got a hard head.”



The coroner’s office expect to have an autopsy done by this afternoon.



“Although Billy lived a public life, we don’t anticipate making any public statements over the next couple of days,” Deborah Mays said in a statement. “Our family asks that you respect our privacy during these difficult times.”



denette@tvguide.ca

COMMENTS

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Morrigon
20:51 Jun 29 2009

I will miss his incessant yelling... :(

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POST COMMENT

‘Tonight’ sidekick Ed McMahon dies in LA at 86

By LYNN ELBER

AP Television Writer

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Ed McMahon, the loyal “Tonight Show’’ sidekick who bolstered boss Johnny Carson with guffaws and a resounding “H-e-e-e-e-e-ere’s Johnny!’’ for 30 years, died early Tuesday. He was 86.



McMahon died shortly after midnight at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center surrounded by his wife, Pam, and other family members, said his publicist, Howard Bragman.



Bragman didn’t give a cause of death, saying only that McMahon had a “multitude of health problems the last few months.’’



McMahon broke his neck in a fall in March 2007, and battled a series of financial problems as his injuries prevented him from working.



Doc Severinson, “Tonight’’ bandleader during the Carson era, said McMahon was a man “full of life and joy and celebration.’’



“He will be sorely missed. He was one of the greats in show business, but most of all he was a gentleman. I miss my friend,’’ Severinson said in a statement.



David Letterman paid tribute to McMahon as a “true broadcaster’’ and key part of Carson’s show.



“Ed McMahon’s voice at 11:30 was a signal that something great was about to happen. Ed’s introduction of Johnny was a classic broadcasting ritual — reassuring and exciting,’’ Letterman said, adding, “We will miss him.’’



Letterman’s bandleader, Paul Shaffer, said McMahon “defined professionalism in broadcasting.’’



Jerry Digney, who was McMahon’s longtime publicist, said McMahon was the most “courtly, good-natured person you could ever meet’’ and that he brought “elegance, humor and a new sense of importance’’ to the role of second banana.



McMahon and Carson had worked together for nearly five years on the game show “Who Do You Trust?’’ when Carson took over NBC’s late-night show from Jack Paar in October 1962. McMahon played second banana on “Tonight’’ until Carson retired in 1992.



“You can’t imagine hooking up with a guy like Carson,’’ McMahon said in an interview with The Associated Press in 1993. “There’s the old phrase, hook your wagon to a star. I hitched my wagon to a great star.’’



McMahon, who never failed to laugh at his Carson’s quips, kept his supporting role in perspective.



“It’s like a pitcher who has a favorite catcher,’’ he said. “The pitcher gets a little help from the catcher, but the pitcher’s got to throw the ball. Well, Johnny Carson had to throw the ball, but I could give him a little help.’’



“And now h-e-e-e-e-e-ere’s Johnny!’’ was McMahon’s trademark opener for each “Tonight’’ show, followed by a small, respectful bow toward the star. McMahon’s style was honed during his youthful days as a carnival hawker.



The highlight for McMahon came just after the monologue, when he and Carson would chat before the guests took the stage.



“We would just have a free-for-all,’’ he said in the AP interview. “Now to sit there, with one of the brightest, most well-read men I’ve ever met, the funniest, and just to hold your own in that conversation. ... I loved that.’’



When Carson died in 2005, McMahon said he was “like a brother to me,’’ and recalled bantering with him on the phone a few months earlier.



“We could have gone on (television) that night and done a ‘Carnac’ skit. We were that crisp and hot.’’



McMahon’s medical and financial problems kept him in the headlines in his last years. It was reported in June 2008 that he was facing possible foreclosure on his Beverly Hills home. By year’s end, a deal was worked out allowing him to stay in his home, but legal action involving other alleged debts continued.



Among those who had stepped up with offers of help was Donald Trump.



“When I was at the Wharton School of Business I’d watch him every night,’’ Trump told the Los Angeles Times in August. “How could this happen?’’



McMahon even spoofed his own problems with a spot that aired during the 2009 Super Bowl promoting a cash-for-gold business. Pairing up with rap artist MC Hammer, he explained how easy it is to turn gold items into cash, jokingly saying “Goodbye, old friend’’ to a gold toilet and rolling out a convincing “H-e-e-e-e-e-ere’s money!’’



Born Edward Leo Peter McMahon Jr. on March 6, 1923, in Detroit, McMahon grew up in Lowell, Mass. He got his start on television playing a circus clown on the 1950-51 variety series “Big Top.’’ But the World War II Marine veteran interrupted his career to serve as a fighter pilot in Korea.



He joined “Who Do You Trust?’’ in 1958, its second year, the start of his long association with Carson. It was a partnership that outlasted their multiple marriages, which provided regular on-air fodder for jokes.



While Carson built his career around “Tonight’’ and withdrew from the limelight after his retirement, McMahon took a different path. He was host of several shows over the years, including “The Kraft Music Hall’’ (1968) and the amateur talent contest “Star Search,’’ whose competitors included over the years Justin Timberlake, Usher, LeAnn Rimes, Adam Sandler and Rosie O’Donnell.



He was a longtime co-host of the Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Association Telethon, a Labor Day weekend institution, and was co-host with Dick Clark of “TV’s Bloopers and Practical Jokes.’’



McMahon and Clark also teamed up as pitchmen for American Family Publishers’ sweepstakes, with their faces a familiar sight on contest entry forms and in TV commercials. McMahon was known for his ongoing commercials for Budweiser as well.



He had supporting roles in several movies, including “Fun With Dick and Jane’’ (1977) and “Just Write’’ (1997). He took on his first regular TV series job in the 1997 WB sitcom “The Tom Show’’ with Tom Arnold.



McMahon released his autobiography, “For Laughing Out Loud: My Life and Good Times,’’ in 1998. In it, he recounts the birth of “Tonight.’’



“Let’s just go down there and entertain the hell out of them,’’ Carson told him before the first show. Wrote McMahon: “That was the only advice I ever got from him.’’



In 1993, he recalled his first meeting with Carson after they left “Tonight.’’



“The first thing he said was, ‘I really miss you. You know, it was fun, wasn’t it?’’’ McMahon recalled. “I said, ‘It was great.’ And it was. It was just great.’’



Besides his wife, Pam, McMahon is survived by children Claudia, Katherine, Linda, Jeffrey and Lex.



Bragman said no funeral arrangements have been made.

COMMENTS

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Elemental
02:52 Jun 26 2009

well.......huh......It does come in three's.....

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POST COMMENT

Michael Jackson, the 'King of Pop,' dies at age 50

By LYNN ELBER, Associated Press Writer Lynn Elber, Associated Press Writer

10 mins ago



LOS ANGELES – Michael Jackson, the sensationally gifted child star who rose to become the "King of Pop" and the biggest celebrity in the world only to fall from his throne in a freakish series of scandals, died Thursday. He was 50. Jackson died at UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles. Ed Winter, the assistant chief coroner for Los Angeles County, confirmed his office had been notified of the death and would handle the investigation.



The circumstances of Jackson's death were not immediately clear. Jackson was not breathing when Los Angeles Fire Department paramedics responded to a call at his Los Angeles home about 12:30 p.m., Capt. Steve Ruda told the Los Angeles Times. The paramedics performed CPR and took him to the hospital, Ruda told the newspaper.



Jackson's death brought a tragic end to a long, bizarre, sometimes farcical decline from his peak in the 1980s, when he was popular music's premier all-around performer, a uniter of black and white music who shattered the race barrier on MTV, dominated the charts and dazzled even more on stage.



His 1982 album "Thriller" — which included the blockbuster hits "Beat It," "Billie Jean" and "Thriller" — is the best-selling album of all time, with an estimated 50 million copies sold worldwide.



The public first knew him in the late 1960s, when as a boy he was the precocious, spinning lead singer of the Jackson 5, the music group he formed with his four older brothers. Among their No. 1 hits were "I Want You Back," "ABC," and "I'll Be There."



He was perhaps the most exciting performer of his generation, known for his feverish, crotch-grabbing dance moves and his high-pitched voice punctuated with squeals and titters. His single sequined glove, tight, military-style jacket and aviator sunglasses were trademarks second only to his ever-changing, surgically altered appearance.



"For Michael to be taken away from us so suddenly at such a young age, I just don't have the words," said Quincy Jones, who produced "Thriller." "He was the consummate entertainer and his contributions and legacy will be felt upon the world forever. I've lost my little brother today, and part of my soul has gone with him."



Jackson ranked alongside Elvis Presley and the Beatles as the biggest pop sensations of all time. He united two of music's biggest names when he was briefly married to Presley's daughter, Lisa Marie, and Jackson's death immediately evoked that of Presley himself, who died at age 42 in 1977.



As years went by, Jackson became an increasingly freakish figure — a middle-aged man-child weirdly out of touch with grown-up life. His skin became lighter, his nose narrower, and he spoke in a breathy, girlish voice. He surrounded himself with children at his Neverland ranch, often wore a germ mask while traveling and kept a pet chimpanzee named Bubbles as one of his closest companions.



"It seemed to me that his internal essence was at war with the norms of the world. It's as if he was trying to defy gravity," said Michael Levine, a Hollywood publicist who represented Jackson in the early 1990s. He called Jackson a "disciple of P.T. Barnum" and said the star appeared fragile at the time but was "much more cunning and shrewd about the industry than anyone knew."



Jackson caused a furor in 2002 when he playfully dangled his infant son, Prince Michael II, over a hotel balcony in Berlin while a throng of fans watched from below.



In 2005, he was cleared of charges he molested a 13-year-old cancer survivor at Neverland in 2003. He had been accused of plying the boy with alcohol and groping him, and of engaging in strange and inappropriate behavior with other children.



The case followed years of rumors about Jackson and young boys. In a TV documentary, he had acknowledged sharing his bed with children, a practice he described as sweet and not at all sexual.



Despite the acquittal, the lurid allegations that came out in court took a fearsome toll on his career and image, and he fell into serious financial trouble.



Jackson was preparing for what was to be his greatest comeback: He was scheduled for an unprecedented 50 shows at a London arena, with the first set for July 13. He was in rehearsals in Los Angeles for the concert, an extravaganza that was to capture the classic Jackson magic: showstopping dance moves, elaborate staging and throbbing dance beats.



Singer Dionne Warwick said: "Michael was a friend and undoubtedly one of the world's greatest entertainers that I fortunately had the pleasure of working with. ... We have lost an icon in our industry."



Hundreds of people gathered outside the hospital as word of his death spread. The emergency entrance at the UCLA Medical Center, which is near Jackson's rented home, was roped off with police tape.



"Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Jackson has just died," a woman boarding a Manhattan bus called out, shortly after the news was announced. Immediately many riders reached for their cell phones.



So many people wanted to verify the early reports of Jackson's death that the computers running Google's news section interpreted the fusillade of "Michael Jackson" requests as an automated attack for about half an hour Thursday evening.



In New York's Times Square, a low groan went up in the crowd when a screen flashed that Jackson had died, and people began relaying the news to friends by cell phone.



"No joke. King of Pop is no more. Wow," Michael Harris, 36, of New York City, read from a text message a friend sent to his telephone. "It's like when Kennedy was assassinated. I will always remember being in Times Square when Michael Jackson died."

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Elemental
02:46 Jun 26 2009

Wow.....so ....unexpected. I love his Thriller album.

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POST COMMENT

'Charlie's Angel' Farrah Fawcett dies at 62

By BOB THOMAS, Associated Press Writer Bob Thomas, Associated Press Writer

5 mins ago



LOS ANGELES – Farrah Fawcett, whose luxurious tresses and blinding smile helped redefine sex appeal in the 1970s as one of TV's "Charlie's Angels," died Thursday after battling cancer. She was 62.



The pop icon, who in the 1980s set aside the fantasy girl image to tackle serious roles, died Thursday shortly before 9:30 a.m. PDT in a Santa Monica hospital, spokesman Paul Bloch said.



She burst on the scene in 1976 as one-third of the crime-fighting trio in TV's "Charlie's Angels." A poster of her in a clingy swimsuit sold in the millions.



She left the show after one season but had a flop on the big screen with "Somebody Killed Her Husband." She turned to more serious roles in the 1980s and 1990s, winning praise playing an abused wife in "The Burning Bed."



She had been diagnosed with anal cancer in 2006. As she underwent treatment, she enlisted the help of actor Ryan O'Neal, who had been her longtime companion and was the father of her son, Redmond, born in 1985.



This month, O'Neal said he asked Fawcett to marry him and she agreed. They would wed "as soon as she can say yes," he said.



Her struggle with painful treatments and dispiriting setbacks was recorded in the television documentary "Farrah's Story." Fawcett sought cures in Germany as well as the United States, battling the disease with iron determination even as her body weakened.



"Her big message to people is don't give up, no matter what they say to you, keep fighting," her friend Alana Stewart said. NBC estimated the May 15, 2009, broadcast drew nearly 9 million viewers.



In the documentary, Fawcett was seen shaving off most of her trademark locks before chemotherapy could claim them. Toward the end, she's seen huddled in bed, barely responding to a visit from her son.



Fawcett, Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith comprised the original "Angels," the sexy, police-trained trio of martial arts experts who took their assignments from a rich, mysterious boss named Charlie (John Forsythe, who was never seen on camera but whose distinctive voice was heard on speaker phone.)



The program debuted in September 1976, the height of what some critics derisively referred to as television's "jiggle show" era, and it gave each of the actresses ample opportunity to show off their figures as they disguised themselves in bathing suits and as hookers and strippers to solve crimes.



Backed by a clever publicity campaign, Fawcett — then billed as Farrah Fawcett-Majors because of her marriage to "Six Million Dollar Man" star Lee Majors — quickly became the most popular Angel of all.



Her face helped sell T-shirts, lunch boxes, shampoo, wigs and even a novelty plumbing device called Farrah's faucet. Her flowing blond hair, pearly white smile and trim, shapely body made her a favorite with male viewers in particular.



A poster of her in a dampened red swimsuit sold millions of copies and became a ubiquitous wall decoration in teenagers' rooms.



Thus the public and the show's producer, Spelling-Goldberg, were shocked when she announced after the series' first season that she was leaving television's No. 5-rated series to star in feature films. (Cheryl Ladd became the new "Angel" on the series.)



But the movies turned out to be a platform where Fawcett was never able to duplicate her TV success. Her first star vehicle, the comedy-mystery "Somebody Killed Her Husband," flopped and Hollywood cynics cracked that it should have been titled "Somebody Killed Her Career."



The actress had also been in line to star in "Foul Play" for Columbia Pictures. But the studio opted for Goldie Hawn instead. "Spelling-Goldberg warned all the studios that that they would be sued for damages if they employed me," Fawcett told The Associated Press in 1979. "The studios wouldn't touch me."



She finally reached an agreement to appear in three episodes of "Charlie's Angels" a season, an experience she called "painful."



She returned to making movies, including the futuristic thriller "Logan's Run," the comedy-thriller "Sunburn" and the strange sci-fi tale "Saturn 3," but none clicked with the public.



Fawcett fared better with television movies such as "Murder in Texas," "Poor Little Rich Girl" and especially as an abused wife in 1984's "The Burning Bed." The last earned her an Emmy nomination and the long-denied admission from critics that she really could act.



As further proof of her acting credentials, Fawcett appeared off-Broadway in "Extremities" as a woman who is raped in her own home. She repeated the role in the 1986 film version.



Not content to continue playing victims, she switched type. She played a murderous mother in the 1989 true-crime story "Small Sacrifices" and a tough lawyer on the trail of a thief in 1992's "Criminal Behavior."



She also starred in biographies of Nazi-hunter Beate Klarsfeld and photographer Margaret Bourke-White.



"I felt that I was doing a disservice to ourselves by portraying only women as victims," she commented in a 1992 interview.



In 1995, at age 50, Fawcett posed partly nude for Playboy magazine. The following year, she starred in a Playboy video, "All of Me," in which she was equally unclothed while she sculpted and painted.



She told an interviewer she considered the experience "a renaissance," adding, "I no longer feel ... restrictions emotionally, artistically, creatively or in my everyday life. I don't feel those borders anymore."



Fawcett's most unfortunate career moment may have been a 1997 appearance on David Letterman's show, when her disjointed, rambling answers led many to speculate that she was on drugs. She denied that, blaming her strange behavior on questionable advice from her mother to be playful and have a good time.



In September 2006, Fawcett, who at 59 still maintained a strict regimen of tennis and paddleball, began to feel strangely exhausted. She underwent two weeks of tests and was told the devastating news: She had anal cancer.



O'Neal, with whom she had a 17-year relationship, again became her constant companion, escorting her to the hospital for chemotherapy.



"She's so strong," the actor told a reporter. "I love her. I love her all over again."



She struggled to maintain her privacy, but a UCLA Medical Center employee pleaded guilty in late 2008 to violating federal medical privacy law for commercial purposes for selling records of Fawcett and other celebrities to the National Enquirer.



"It's much easier to go through something and deal with it without being under a microscope," she told the Los Angeles Times in an interview in which she also revealed that she helped set up a sting that led to the hospital worker's arrest.



Her decision to tell her own story through the NBC documentary was meant as an inspiration to others, friends said. The segments showing her cancer treatment, including a trip to Germany for procedures there, were originally shot for a personal, family record, they said. And although weak, she continued to show flashes of grit and good humor in the documentary.



"I do not want to die of this disease. So I say to God, `It is seriously time for a miracle,'" she said at one point.



Born Feb. 2, 1947, in Corpus Christi, Texas, she was named Mary Farrah Leni Fawcett by her mother, who said she added the Farrah because it sounded good with Fawcett. She was less than a month old when she underwent surgery to remove a digestive tract tumor with which she was born.



After attending Roman Catholic grade school and W.B. Ray High School, Fawcett enrolled at the University of Texas at Austin. Fellow students voted her one of the 10 most beautiful people on the campus and her photos were eventually spotted by movie publicist David Mirisch, who suggested she pursue a film career. After overcoming her parents' objections, she agreed.



Soon she was appearing in such TV shows as "That Girl," "The Flying Nun," "I Dream of Jeannie" and "The Partridge Family."



Majors became both her boyfriend and her adviser on career matters, and they married in 1973. She dropped his last name from hers after they divorced in 1982.



By then she had already begun her long relationship with O'Neal. The couple never married. Both Redmond and Ryan O'Neal have grappled with drug and legal problems in recent years.

COMMENTS

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DarkWolfman
18:28 Jun 25 2009

I just read that on yahoo news...that sucks so damned much...and such a loss.

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TwilightEssence
18:29 Jun 25 2009

I hate that. She fought so hard. She will be missed.

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Nightgame
18:37 Jun 25 2009

I'll never forget that smile of hers.

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POST COMMENT

I am about to pull a rat. No, seriously, there are times when I absolutely LOATH this computer...



I have been trying ever since the new updates went into effect to update my staus and see what all it says, just like everybody else. I want to see who is blocking me too, dammit.



EVERY time I log in, I try to check my status.



THIS is what I go today:



You can only check your Status level once every 10 minutes.



Your last update was: Jun 24 2009 at 13:19:14







I deliberately waited 20 minutes today AFTER logging in and THIS is what I got.





You can only check your Status level once every 10 minutes.



Your last update was: Jun 24 2009 at 13:39:21









SO how thee HELL am I supposed to check my stats if everytime I check, it is telling me I updated without showing me HOW I am updated????

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ladySnowStrixx
19:53 Jun 24 2009

I have had the same problem with it , sometimes I can see it and other times I get the same saying .

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LadyChordewa
21:21 Jun 24 2009

I believe that Cancer said in the thread, that you have to wait for 10 minutes, after logging on, to check your status. But if this continues, might want to post it in the update thread, as he still has some bugs.

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POST COMMENT

The inspection went just fine- aside from needing a wee bit more insulation in the attic, and having to redo the tiles in the shower, which I was gonna do anyway, I don't care of Scott DOES like a swarm of art deco yellow flowers with red walls, all is well with the house.



I signed on the dotted line at 4:10 this afternoon.



The house is officially ours, and we will be able to move in in August-



Don't ask. That would take a whole OTHER entry, and I'm at work, typing sideways. Again, don't ask...

COMMENTS

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sahahria
11:43 Jun 21 2009

YAY it is so great to see someone esle with awesome news! Even better is that is YOUR place, you're own place to nest into and call home! I wish you a speedy, uneventful move *although that is a bit of an oxymoron isn't "uneventfule move" heh... damn I'm way too tired and have WAYYYY more to move! OK I look forward to seeing more as you get into your new digs :D

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Nightgame
16:06 Jun 21 2009

*jumps up and down* Yea!!! Wonderful news puppy!

(and I don't blame you one bit on the tiles)

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LordVlkodlak
19:22 Jun 21 2009

Most excellent news my friend!!!



Glad to hear there is no major problem and it's yours!

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Elemental
03:57 Jun 22 2009

YEAH!!! Don't forget to do a good incense cleaning and house blessing :)

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Elemental
03:57 Jun 22 2009

YEAH!!! Don't forget to do a good incense cleaning and house blessing :)

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Elemental
03:57 Jun 22 2009

YEAH!!! Don't forget to do a good incense cleaning and house blessing :)

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LadyChordewa
23:42 Jun 22 2009

WHOO HOOO!!!!



Just tell me when you need help with cleaning and moving and we will be there dear!!! Congrats!!!

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ladySnowStrixx
01:42 Jun 23 2009

YAY!!! hope you will be very happy in your new house.

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POST COMMENT

I worked ANOTHER wedding today, but at least I am done training for the time being.



It was a Phillipino wedding, and the bride was lovely.



However...



Grandpa homey walks up to the bar, looks at me and growls....yes GROWLS:



"Want a Bacardi and rum"



*insert appropriately cocked eyebrow here*



And don't give me any shit about it either. Any ONE of the zoo plus a few other ladies around here I could name could and WOULD do exactly the same thing. And I KNOW for a FACT that Cat Rat and Bird can do it, cause I have SEEN them do it....so there.

And frankly, I can HEAR Saharia and Khayman and Lady Chordewa do it on the PHONE I swear to GAWD....



So I asked him, polite as all get out....



"What kind of mix would you like with that?"



He looks at me like I just sprouted horns *please refrain from unnecessary comments on that one please* and growls YET again:



"Want a BACARDI AND RUM"



As if saying it just a little louder will make it any smarter coming out of his mouth.





So I look at him, and I say in my best patient "talking to the idiots" voice:



"I understand that sir, and I can certainly give you Bacardi rum. What would you like WITH that drink, or would you prefer it straight?"



*growl*



"I SAID BACARDI AND COKE"





You people think I make this shit up. I swear to GAWD, I couldn't POSSIBLY make any of this up. It's just too stupid. Proving once again, truth is indeed stranger than fiction...



I should write this stuff down and sell it. But no one would EVER believe me.....

COMMENTS

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Nightgame
16:05 Jun 21 2009

rofl I'd love to be a fly on the wall at some of these weddings you work!

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LordVlkodlak
19:26 Jun 21 2009

Oh, for the love of all things holy ... just give the man what he wants.



He ordered a Bacardi and Rum ... if he's too soused to know that Bacardi is Rum ... he get's rum (chased with a good pirate, ARR! Rum!).



lol



... and besides, who drinks that crap? You want Rum? Get the Cap'n; damnit!



ARR!!!

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POST COMMENT

I have been cleaning out around the apartment in preparation for us moving into the new house in August, hopefully, baring anything going wrong between now and then.



*if you want to go look go to www.mls.ca and look up number V765307.*



I found my menu from ye olde Dairy Dart.....



I have been wanting chili dawgs and mac and cheese EVER SINCE





*mutters something obscene about corruptive women in Kentucky.......*

COMMENTS

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Vampirewitch39
18:46 Jun 17 2009

*kicks the website* I can't get it to work for me. CAT!!! IT is fucked up!!! Fix it damn it!! I want to see puppy's new pad!!!



*sits to eat her hotdog as she waits for help, giving you a evil grin*

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Nightgame
18:54 Jun 17 2009

*smacks lips* sounds like supper to me!

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Nightgame
18:57 Jun 17 2009

It works and I saw Puppy's new house :) Sweet!

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LadyChordewa
19:17 Jun 17 2009

I saw it too. I WANT!!!!!



Looks awesome pup....can't wait to visit and help you move lol.

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Vampirewitch39
19:20 Jun 17 2009

Cat got it to work for me... damn puters..hate them some days. lol



And I FREAKING LOVE that house!!!!! All the windows. And that kitchen... I am soooo going to enjoy sitting at the tabel as you cook some day.



You picked a great one!

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Elemental
20:17 Jun 17 2009

Looks awesome!! Congrats on the new house!!!

Dairy Dart....mmmmmmm now that you mention it...sounds lovely for dinner.

Birdy flies off with an evil smirk on her face...

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RedQueen
08:33 Jun 18 2009

Thank you- we are just holding our collective breaths until Saturday after the home inspection...



And birdy? BITCH......

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POST COMMENT

When it just would be better to crawl back UNDER the bed, than face the mass amount of stupidity that walks through this world on two feet.



Seriously.....



Or as I used to put it "Today was a COMPLETE waste of makeup."



I mean honestly people....when did paying attention get so damned expensive? And when YOU screw up and make a mistake, how costly is it to just admit it?



I worked a wedding last Saturday (yunh hunh..get out the waders...)



First of all, it was a CASH bar....which, I might add, was prominently displayed on the menu planted conspicuously on the bar. So when you walk up to the bar, ask for a drink, start to walk away WITHOUT paying, don't be surprised if you hear "Excuse me, that will be $***. And don't for the love of GOD turn around and look at me like I have just farted in the ice of your drink. I am not responsible for your damned stupidity.



A gentleman walks up to the bar (no punchline here, please) and orders a glass of wine. I pour him a glass, and ask him how would he like to pay for it. He just looks at me. So I say "That will be $8.75 for the wine" at which point he looks at me like I'm stupid and informs me he has no money. I suggest that I can take credit cards and debit cards, whichever he prefers, and he is welcome to start a tab if he likes.



He looks at me.



He sighs like he has been SEVERELY put upon, gets out his credit card, and hands it over.



Then he stands there.



I write up his tab, pop it and the card into a glass, and stick it off to the side.



He is still looking at me.



I inform the gentleman that I will hold onto his card until he is ready to leave, at which point I will close out his tab for him, unless he only wants the one glass, at which point I will close the tab out now. He says, no, he will run a tab. I say ok, I will keep his card.



He is still looking at me.



I ask him if there is anything else I can get for him, he looks at me, and with total calm says:



"How about the fucking glass of wine I ordered?"



I look at him.



I point to the glass of wine sitting on the bar in front of him, look back at him, and say (wait for it......)



"You mean THIS fucking glass of wine?"



*it was so hard to not add or would you prefer ANOTHER fucking kind of wine, but I behaved*



He looks at the wine, looks at me, smacks himself on the forehead (I would have done it WAY better) picks up the glass of wine....



Looks at me



And walks away.





Nice to know stupidty is the same on BOTH sides of the border.

COMMENTS

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Sinora
11:58 Jun 10 2009

lmao..yea I deal with people like that most days, probably why I don't wear make up.

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sahahria
13:44 Jun 10 2009

You know you should charge extra for that- at least then you can buy some more makeup :P

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LadyChordewa
21:15 Jun 10 2009

I think you should write a book, "The joys of bar tending".

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RedQueen
23:53 Jun 10 2009

NO one would believe the crap I spill here...sometimes I don't even believe it...lol

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Khayman
00:36 Jun 11 2009

"You mean THIS fucking glass of wine?"



Again... the very reason you are my hero... :-)

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Nedra
01:10 Jun 11 2009

I sort of liked the comment "Today was a total waste of makeup"

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Nightgame
17:38 Jun 11 2009

Next time offer em a ball bat to smack themselves stupid with.... lol

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RedQueen
20:15 Jun 12 2009

Sometimes I just keep hearing "here's your sign"...lol

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POST COMMENT

HI THERE!!!



Remember me? The bartender who periodically writes the really weird, strange and bizarre sides of tending bar in Canada, from the viewpoint of a southerner?



*points to chest*



That would be me....



Me, who for so long has wanted a few simple things in life...



A man who loves me and wants me and takes care of me.



*check*



A job that I not only love and am good at, but can make me a decent amount of money.



*check*



Life to go along at a relatively smooth pace for a bit without too many crap piles to dogde.





*tires screeching, insert sound of car hitting a wall HERE*





yeah.



*chuckling under my breath*



As my daddy always said, if it ain't one thing, it's something fucking else around here....



Gotta love dad wisdom....right Rat? Sometimes I swear I can hear that man in my HEAD telling me "You realize you are about to be REAL sorry here, right?"



Scott and I have been house hunting, one of the other things I have been wanting for a while. Going from a 3,000 sq ft house to a 650 sq ft apartment in a basement under two pre teens who both play intstruments AND sports has been a challenge, especially with one or the other or BOTH of us working nights at any given time. And I want my stuff back- I want to have a dining room table that can hold my family and a kitchen where I can cook for them, have parties, yadda yadda yadda. But HERE, in the great white North, real estate prices are INSANE. But then so are the pay rates for alot of things- and I was fortunate to land in a really great place where not only is the money good, but tips are generally great as well.



But still.....after years of confining myself to houses UNDER $100,000 because we could never afford anything even CLOSE to that, to be here and suddenly realize that even condos and apartments of TINY ANT FARM size are STARTING at $200,000, I was afraid even the money I finally got from selling Daddy's house wasn't going to be enough to do anything with around here. But we both have good jobs, so I was looking at least at $250,000 t0 $300,000 houses, which with my background was making me SERIOUSLY ill at the thought of nailing myself to a mortgage that size....



Then we went to the bank to get pre-approved for a loan...we went to MY guy, the one who has been such a HUGE help with banking issues, credit cards, etc. Ron is such a hoot, and he ADORES my accent and cooking, which I give him liberal portions of (note to self, must make chess pie for boy for hooking us up here).



Ron set up a meeting with his lady in mortgages, Merima, who is a jewel as well, and he even sat in with us to make sure we got everything we needed. AND he introduced us to our current real estate agent who is not only a sweetheart, listens, and knows EXACTLY how to work with my fucked up schedule, will also pay the legal fees when we buy a house.



We provided Merima with our tax forms from last year, which I might add was probably the slackest they would ever be. Scott was laid off for 2 months, I only worked 9 months, and I am listed as a "seasonal part time employee"



*this means that I work my ass off for 6 months during golf season, then drop to one or two days a week for a month, then work my ass off for Christmas party season for 2 months, then one or two days a week for another 3 months give or take*



Not exactly what the bank would consider a "stable pay environment"



After faxing this lady our latest pay stubbs, we waited



And waited



And waited.



After three days, I got an email from this lady.



Now, bear in mind, she based this on us putting $100,000 in as a down payment on a property, which I can do with what I have left from daddy's house and after we paid off ALL our bills, AND still have money left over. On top of everything, Scott and I have 3 credit cards between us that are paid off, two cars that we own outright (we actually bought Scott's mom's car when she got a new one. Believe it or not, I paid that woman $2,000 in rolled coins including Loonies ($1) Toonies ($2) quarters, and bills. I am such a bitch...lol)



So I figured we would be in about the $300,000 range I had been looking at with all that.



Basically what she told us in that email?



"You have been pre-approved for a mortgage of $360,000. With the amount of $100,000 as a down payment, that means you are eligible to look at houses in the price range of up to $460,000. If you decided to use more for your down payment, you obviously would be able to look at houses priced up to $500,000"





*insert appropriate queasy look here*



Seriously????



My guts have decided to take a permanent hiatus, cause this can't really be happening.



Suffice it to say, we changed the parameters on what houses we were looking at, but still, people...



This makes me a tad nervous.....



THEN....



Oh yeah there is always more where I am concerned folks, get used to it....



I had to go to work Sunday and help do inventory. In the course of once AGAIN moving wine and what not around so that I could count the gaZILLION boxes that fired geek put in my basement, I climbed up on a small footstool to move a box of 6 bottles from the mioddle shelf to the top one. Unbeknownst to me, the box wasn't sealed, and the top slid off......



I tried to catch the bottles before they hit the floor.



I failed.



The bottles, the box, the footstool and me all hit the floor with a resounding crash.



My boss and the other two kids doing inventory in the next cage over went dead silent.



"Luanne?"



what.



"Do you need some help"



um YES PLEASE



two guys and a girl came galloping over to where I was lying in a puddle of wine and broken glass, afraid to move because I wasn't sure where the broken glass WAS, and I thought I had a piece stuck in my upper arm to start with.



After plenty of assessing the situation, assisting me to a more comfortable position (still on my ass in wine, but sitting up right) and a sufficient amount of movement on my part, we realized the following:



Of the 6 bottles that hit the floor, I managed to cushion 5, therefore only breaking one actual bottle of wine.



There was plenty of broken glass, but fortunately none of it was stuck in ME. Although I have the most GAWD AWFUL bruise on the underside of my left upper arm.



Nothing IN ME was broken.



Danielle helped me to the bathroom to make sure I was glass free, and to help me change out of my wine soaked t shirt into a golf caddy shirt, which was one size TOO SMALL, but what the hell.



I walked back out to the cage, assured everyone I was ok, and the guys look at me and the only thing THEY say is:



"wow, nice shirt...."



Nice to know my boobs sustained no discernible injury...LMAO



I managed to finish out the night which meant I was there till 12 am, stopped at Mickey D's for dinner for Scott and myself, and headed home. I of course immediately took a shower and loaded up the ice bag for my right knee which I KNEW I had landed on wrong on the way down (yes, Chordie, I know, watch the swelling).



I then proceeded to not be able to sleep. I got the shakes, I was scared to DEATH because my knee hurt like a BITCH, and I had NO idea how bad it was.



My knee swelled up to the size of a healthy canteloupe over the course of the morning, and so I ended up at the doctor's and missing work for Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday, but thank the Lord nothing major was damaged, the swelling has subsided today (Tuesday) thanks to judicious applications of menthol analgesic patches, ice packs and anti-inflammatories (with the occasional pilfering of Scott's percocets for pain) and I am headed back to work on Thursday with promises that I will have all the help I need at work from all the kids.



And tomorrow? We are scheduled to look at 4 houses, NONE of which are less than $425,000.....





Again...



May God have mercy on us all.



If we have a suite in the basement, I'm inviting my house to a party.



My VR HOUSE.....



LMAO

COMMENTS

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LadyChordewa
01:21 Jun 03 2009

Please don't do what some people are doing. Please figure out, realistically, what you can afford for a mortgage payment. Don't forget to include.....Utilities, Grocery and whatnot.



LordV and I were told that they would give us up to $250,000 house. But figuring the insurance, ultilities and what we are comfortable paying with our income....We can afford maybe a $150,000 house.



Good Luck hon.

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ladySnowStrixx
01:33 Jun 03 2009

Good luck

Hon, after all that you deserve a great house.

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sahahria
03:07 Jun 03 2009

YAY :D

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LordVlkodlak
03:52 Jun 03 2009

I cannot stress that point enough, Puppy.



Just because you have a credit rating that will put you into a $500k house ... does not mean you can afford it.



A basic 30 year fixed mortgage at 5% for $375,000.00 USD is just over $2,000.00/month. Plus your mortgage insurance, your home owners insurance, and the increase in water, gas, and electric for the growth in space over you 600 sq ft apartment.



I don't want to burst your bubble ... just want you to be realistic. It's the one thing most banks won't tell you.

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RedQueen
06:28 Jun 03 2009

jeez people- give me some credit- if spending $300,000 on a house was making me queasy, imagine what something REASONABLE is doing. A $500,000 would cost me everything I had, AND I would be doing nothing for the rest of my life but paying for that house. I do have some common sense here, ya know.

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Sinora
12:04 Jun 03 2009

Forget the house, rejoice that your body was able to 'cushion' all those bottles of wine ...lol

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Nightgame
13:37 Jun 03 2009

I know you'll play it safe on the house and so do you! A little elbow grease needed might be the way to go but with your schedules who knows? lol Just remember you still want to have money to have fun (and visit KY) and then enjoy the process of finding a new home. :)



Now was it a good wine? lol

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RedQueen
18:50 Jun 03 2009

Well, I'm glad someone looks past the jokes and understands I have sense not to bury myself in a house, just in $250 a bottle wine...lol



And yes, it was a great red, of course...LMAO

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Vampirewitch39
07:58 Jun 10 2009

Well when you do get that house make sure it has room for a rat hole or two. ;) I think Dad's voice will lead you to the right one sis.



And as far as the bar fall- don't do that again. Ok puppy? Ok then.



*hugs* Miss ya.

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