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Well today sucks ass! . More fucked up shit is happening like normal, only this time i'm really fuckin sick of the same shit happening over n over again! I can't believe this fucked up shit man, why is all this bad shit happening to me?! I don't know why but this year is starting off really badly, it's been like a streak of not goodness. I hope this is happening because something really good is gunna happen soon. Like the sam eshit from last yr, it started with some real bad shit, but then like one of the best things that ever happend in my life happened shortly after. It's changed me actually, so maybe this year might be a good one?...i dunno but i hope so cuz i cannot deal with all this shit for too much longer...i

might go eve crazier then i already am now (which is kinda scary). But i dunno i'm just real pissed right now i'm gunna go play a videogame er somethin...







♥ LiLi ♥

It's (216) tonight!!!!!!!! Woo-hoo can't wait. I'm gettin fucked up before the show despite im sick. It's gunna be awesome, moshing, crowd surfing, and Jason Popson the most goregous man alive= a kick ass nite. i could stare at him like for hours and be at peace lol. yea im sucha dork...I can't wait i missed the last show but it was at the House of Blues(Fuck that place!) so i prolly wouldn't have ended up going anyhoo. but yea im gunna go ill write tom peeeace



♥ LiLi ♥

Today is my little sister Birthday! She's 2 years old today. She is the most precious little angel ever i love her to death!



HAPPY B-DAY MENA!

I Grrr V-day! But i hope someone will make me feel special today....hm maybe some flowers from the secret admirer? LoL Ah well im used to being single by now no need to get depressed or mad. Kisses to me :)

My momma came home this morning alive yay! I was so worried she was gunna die. I thank whatever's out there for helping her. I'm so thankful and happy today tis amazing :) Well anyhoo i just wanted to express my relief. I am now at peace...Well time to go watch Yasi play some FF7 ITS CHOCOBO TIME YEEEE! B-bye





--LiLi--

today looks grim...i'm really worried. I hope this year isn't mean to me, at least not in the way i fear it...

I just can't stop dwelling on this same fucking thought, it's driving me insane! I wonder since im really truly unhappy and my life is in a cold dark place and all, i wonder...what makes me happy? Sure i know concerts, lol rockstars and all that but there's gotta be somethin else something real. Let's see im lonely and single and i feel abandon all of those make me unhappy, but it seems the oppisites of all those don't make me happy though! The company and friends thing makes me happy it feels good to go out w. friends or just chill hang out n shit, but being unsingle doesn't make me happy, infact the last time around it brought me the worst pain i have ever felt, and no matter what i always feel abandon. WTF is wrong with me?! Life has never been as horrible as the days that have been passing by...what the hell is happening to my life? Was 2004 my year of really good luck and now 2005 is just another unlcuky shit ass year?(trust me and the luck was really good) I wonder if im just goin crazy er something i dunno? I guess is doesn't matter the answers will eventually come to me...till then bring on the pain.

Well well my favorite day in the whole fuckin year is almost here, and its gunna be the same old shit like the other years before. But thats not what i really care about...i just realized that i have no friends like every place i wanna be im not there but everyone else is. I feel so left out and unwanted, and ya know if i am unwanted and not liked i wish people would tell me instead of lookin at me weird or actin funny around me n shit. It's like if u dont fuckin like me SAY IT DAMN IT! I dont know im just trippin i guess cuz ive never been so alone in my life,i feel totally abandon by everybody...i wonder where everyone and everything has gone, and will i ever find em again? Huhhhh this is depressing...