Honor: 25 [ Give / Take ]
47 entries this month
Bob Ross
18:06 Jun 30 2011
Times Read: 1,016
I love watching this damn show. Here's a couple of quotes from today's show.
"He's kinda crooked. There. Yeah, he's a crooked tree, we'll send him to Washington."
"You don't want any green in your snow. The only thing worse than yellow snow, is green snow."
"We don't make any mistakes in painting, we have happy accidents."
I wonder if oil paints and odorless paint thinner are safe to use when pregnant. It's been a long time since I've painted anything. =(
11:16 Jun 30 2011
Times Read: 1,014
Well the doc said I could take benadryl and it would help, and that I could take claritin and it would help. She gave me a prescription for an antibiotic, but told me only to use it if absolutely necessary. She also said I could use my albuterol inhaler if I get desperate.
I took one benadryl before bed, and it didn't help at all. Considering everything I take 'may' be harmful for the baby, I'll just deal with this shit until it goes away. Even if it does take a couple more weeks.
Today I coughed myself awake several times. One of which I continued coughing hard enough that I got up and threw up. It'd be nice of this shit would go away soon.
As crappy as I feel, I can't complain. My friend who lost the baby last week, had to put her dog down this week. =( I feel so bad for her. I wish I could go spend some time with her. I would be super depressed if I were her. I miss that bizzle.
19:26 Jun 28 2011
Times Read: 1,025
I'm giving up and going to the doctor in the morning. The shit in my chest is now infected. Yaay.
=/
16:00 Jun 28 2011
Times Read: 1,032
Back when I lived in the desert, and I used to get bronchitis often, I picked up a neat trick. I learned how to sleep with a cough drop in my mouth. My mom and sister swear that I'll choke to death in my sleep on a cough drop one day. They may very well be right, but in the meantime, it helps me keep from waking up all of the time coughing.
04:55 Jun 28 2011
Times Read: 1,045
I have tissues, cough drops, water, orange juice, and vicks vapor rub to combat the sickness.
Somehow I don't think it'll be enough.
16:31 Jun 27 2011
Times Read: 1,063
I called the dr and left a message to see if there is anything I could, or should take for being sick. The congestion is getting worse, and I'm now coughing shit up out of my lungs. On top of all of the other craptacular symptoms I have too. Joy. I'll probably pass out before they get around to calling me back. I hope they leave a message.
I feel very undesirable today.
03:44 Jun 27 2011
Times Read: 1,076
Yay.
=/
16:06 Jun 25 2011
Times Read: 1,097
I had pizza for dinner last night, it didn't stay down. I had ice cream thinking it wasn't as solid, so it might not be as bad. Wrong, it didn't stay down either. It's not morning sickness, it's some kind of stomach funk. I have other symptoms too.
I haven't horked for about eight hours. I may brave some toast. I'm sure the gremlin needs me to eat something. After toast, I'm crawling back in bed where I have 60 oz of oj, 32 oz of powerade, and a liter of water waiting for me.
10:42 Jun 25 2011
Times Read: 1,105
hot, cold, hot, cold, hot, cold...
Being sick sucks!
Quote of the night:
09:33 Jun 24 2011
Times Read: 1,123
"If you're not sure you're sticking it in the right hole, don't do it!"
Hahahaha that's some good advice!
wipeout is on
02:15 Jun 24 2011
Times Read: 1,129
Nerds vs hotties.
Hahaha I love this freaking show.
he's so cute when he wants to be02:10 Jun 24 2011
Times Read: 1,131
00:20 Jun 24 2011
Times Read: 1,141
Damnit.
I think WC shared his sickie germs.
I'm not allowed to take any medicine. =(
04:41 Jun 23 2011
Times Read: 1,159
Cupcakes
Banana Nut Bread
The loaf on the left is blueberry banana nut bread.
I don't think I'm done either. I've been thinking about baking peanut butter cookies, mexican wedding cookies, and snicker doodles. I've also been thinking about making a blueberry cake, and a cheesecake.
=/
I don't really want to eat any of it either. Well except the banana bread.
I hope this is out of my system soon.
Mmmmmm
00:53 Jun 23 2011
Times Read: 1,172
Fresh baked banana nut bread.
Yum!
23:05 Jun 22 2011
Times Read: 1,183
Damn. I need more stoneware loaf pans.
If I had four more, I could make half a dozen loaves of bread at a time. =/
Instead of the two at a time I'm stuck making now. Damn.
I feel very lost.
16:17 Jun 22 2011
Times Read: 1,200
I'm not having a very good day.
The one thing I need right now, will never come.
Is this a pregnancy thing o.0?
07:09 Jun 22 2011
Times Read: 1,210
Coleslaw at midnight.
so so heartbreaking =(
01:51 Jun 22 2011
Times Read: 1,229
I texted my best friend to see how her doctors visit went yesterday. I wasn't expecting the reply I got, but I can't say I'm completely surprised either.
Her baby died in utero. She had to deliver her stillborn baby last night. This is the fourth baby she's lost. I feel so bad for her. =( I wish I could help her.
Sad sad day.
07:40 Jun 21 2011
Times Read: 1,248
I crave things that seem so far beyond my reach they're nearly impossible to obtain.
Are we resigned to our fate, or do we change our destiny?
Quote of the day/night:
07:04 Jun 21 2011
Times Read: 1,252
"I scratched 43 balls today."
O_o
15:52 Jun 20 2011
Times Read: 1,267
Celebrate Independence Day on the slopes this year. Arapaho Basin here in Colorado is open for skiing 4th of July weekend.
Isn't that something.
08:21 Jun 18 2011
Times Read: 1,279
I don't like when people call me from their hotel rooms and ask how much the dirty movies cost. =/
Look yourself pervert. I have no idea how much your spankfest will cost you.
05:00 Jun 16 2011
Times Read: 1,318
Here's some TMI for you.
So I went to the doctor today, and had that first exam. While I'm happy to report no one crammed their hand in my vagina, I was still thoroughly tortured.
The waiting in the waiting room was hell. I sat there shaking slightly from nerves. (Have I mentioned that my nerves are shot from repeated high levels of stress?) Pee in a cup? Sure lady.. I'm getting used to peeing in cups at this point. Then we get to the ultrasound room, where I'm greeted with stirrups. The ultrasound tech must have seen me eyeing them because she said 'okay, so we're doing a vaginal ultrasound today'. At which point my eyes must have gotten huge, because she said 'oh, no one told you?'. 'No.. noone told me', I tell her. She tossed her hands up in the air and cheerily announced 'SURPRISE', yeah.. thanks.
Stirrups.. yay stirrups. =/ At least at this point in my life I've got the routine down, and no longer have to be told to scoot my ass down further. Then she comes at me with this thing O.O
I'm sure my mind exaggerated it, but to me it looked like a 2 foot dildo. Wtf? Luckily it was skinny, and not meant to be fully inserted. It didn't hurt much unit she cranked it to the side to look at my ovaries. That sucked. Let me batter your insides with a shrunken police baton lady.
The baby.. looks like a dot. With a little flashing light for a heart. Kind of like ET. Lol. I think the lady wanted me to be more impressed. I told her all I see is a dot. She made me a pic of the dot, and she said that it's pretty small for how far along they thought I was supposed to be. She said the heart rate is slower for how old they thought it was. It turns out they're pushing back my due date a week or two. Baby is now supposed to spawn in February.
Then I got the talk. What not to eat, what not to do, absolutely no cleaning litter boxes (sorry WC), testing for genetic problems, testing for complications, how much weight I'm allowed to gain, my hormones, emotions, depression, warning signs, cravings, morning sickness... etc.
After all of that it was fun time in the stirrups again. Apparently they don't like you to skip a few years between female exams. I loathe speculums. More than I loathe having a sample scraped from my insides. =/ Hours later I still feel the discomfort from that exam.
Finally it was time for the blood draw. I have my mother's shitty veins. I told the lady if she couldn't get it out of my arm to just pull it from my hand. Did she listen? Hell no. The first time she stuck me, she got minimal blood flow that dried up fast. What does she do? Wiggle the fuckin needle around. Wtf lady. And then, when she's ripping the tourniquet out it got wrapped in the needle, ripping it from my arm and sending it flying across the room. At this point I was laughing. Then she tried my other arm, and she grabbed a needle that was about 2 inches long, and had it lodged halfway in my arm before I objected to the pain. She then goes to get another lady, who attempted to stab at the same arm that got mutilated first. Finally they gave up. Without even attempting to draw from my hand like I suggested to both of them. I get to go to a lab tomorrow, and hopefully have someone who knows what they're doing get the blood they were looking for.
Did I mention I get to go back in a couple of weeks and get tortured again?
Joy.
PRIVATE ENTRY
04:49 Jun 15 2011
Times Read: 1,324
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
22:45 Jun 14 2011
Times Read: 1,341
I woke up to pee, which is annoying in itself. My brain starts thinking about corn. Cooooorn... coooooorn. And I can't go back to sleep. Damnit. Now that I've cooked and ate some corn, and consumed a banana as well. I'm going back to sleep.
I distracted the double trouble with milk, so I could steal my thundercat and take him to the bedroom. Maybe he'll nap with me. =)
21:36 Jun 14 2011
Times Read: 1,346
It's funny how quickly our worlds can change. I can't even tell you at this point what my fears were two months ago. Right now the only thing I'm worried about is if they'll find a heartbeat, or if something will be wrong with the gremlin.
People ask me if I'm excited, but the truth is I'm kind of detached. This still doesn't feel completely real. It also doesn't help that between 4 of my closest friends, there have been 6 babies that have died in utero. Only one of those was a miscarriage at 2 months, the rest of them died between 6-8 1/2 months. It really destroys a person to have to go through that. My mom seems to think everything will be ok, because pregnancy and labor was a cakewalk for her. I told her that I'm concerned anyway, given everything I've seen, but I'll deal with things as they come.
09:09 Jun 14 2011
Times Read: 1,365
The company I work for is big on diversity. They encourage this by having us celebrate different cultures throughout the year. My coworker who transferred in from a smaller franchised property was telling me about his old properties celebration in February. Being black history month they were celebrating, you guessed it, african american culture.
How did they celebrate you ask?
By serving fried chicken in the cafeteria, and playing a rousing game of soul train. *facepalm*
He says they also played some black history program looped on the tv's in the cafeteria.
12:31 Jun 12 2011
Times Read: 1,376
Work again.
Boo mornings! :p
PRIVATE ENTRY
12:29 Jun 12 2011
Times Read: 1,377
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
04:33 Jun 12 2011
Times Read: 1,394
I'm drained.
Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.
I have nothing left to give today.
Yet today, I managed to not cry.
Mostly because I wouldn't allow myself to.
12:44 Jun 11 2011
Times Read: 1,418
Mornings officially suck. This 5am shit is for the birds, literally. The only thing worse than having to work mornings? Being forced to do it without coffee.
I'd better not have to deal with any bitchy people for a few hours. It's going to take that long for my 'give a shit' to wake up.
Blah.. shower time.
04:28 Jun 11 2011
Times Read: 1,431
My best friend is having a baby. She's due in October. She just found out it's a boy. What's the name, I ask. Richard James she says. My response......
I'M RICK JAMES BITCH!
I'm totally making it a onesie that says that. I'll probably put on the back... 'fuck yo couch!'
Hahahahahaaaaaaa ♥
01:19 Jun 11 2011
Times Read: 1,441
Things were supposed to be different, but life is notorious for throwing curve balls at you. I don't know if how I feel is just the hormones, or how I really feel.
Uncertainty is all around me and I dislike it.
I haven't even known for a week, and I'm tired of crying already.
05:25 Jun 10 2011
Times Read: 1,461
I hope this gets better.
I'm with gremlin.
02:00 Jun 09 2011
Times Read: 1,505
Knowing who the dad is it will probably come out more demon than human. Hahaha ♥ I call it gremlin because the sex can't be determined yet.
I sleep all of the time, pee all the time, I am UBER emotional, always nauseas, and now my boobs hurt too. Something smaller than a blueberry is kicking my ass, bigtime.
If you're on my facebook, please don't post anything about it on there yet. I haven't told my coworkers. I'm trying to get a promotion, and don't want to get shafted because of this. If someone blabs on there before I do, I'll delete the post and boot them from my friends list. I'm just cranky enough to do it. ;p
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!17:03 Jun 06 2011
Times Read: 1,527
=/
eternally grateful
08:45 Jun 06 2011
Times Read: 1,544
During times of uncertainty, and extreme stress I've been finding comfort from an unexpected source.
Fuck you vagina. I hate you at the moment. We are no longer on speaking terms. 20:58 Jun 04 2011
Times Read: 1,575
TMI
23:38 Jun 03 2011
Times Read: 1,582
I owe Requiem my opinion on the opera I went to see. I promise it's coming soon lady. This weekend I should have plenty of time. Perhaps either before or after the art walk I want to take in.
My department head's going away party is tomorrow. I don't have money to waste on booze, but I'm fairly certain my coworkers are going to be shoving drinks into my hands. I'm really going to miss him. I'm going to cry when he leaves. =/ He is undoubtably the best boss I've ever had. We've seen some crazy shit go down at this hotel, and he's always backed me up when I've been less than nice when throwing people out on their ass. I hope his replacement is a good guy too. I've worked for some real pieces of shit before. I hope to avoid that in the future.
Time for a nap before work. O.o I swear one of the gatos is meowing like a peacock. I must need more sleep.
08:22 Jun 03 2011
Times Read: 1,600
I dreamed about a zombie apocolypse today.
No more fuckin' spicy tamales before bed for me.
*bangs head on desk*
10:41 Jun 02 2011
Times Read: 1,623
I was listening to Louie Armstrong singing What a Wonderful World, and adding it to my playlist.
My coworker walks by and says 'Christmas songs?'
O_o I told him it wasn't a christmas song, he said that's the only time of year he hears the song.
=l
Gods waiting room.
03:14 Jun 02 2011
Times Read: 1,640
I am twenty to fifty five years younger than everyone else in this theater for the opera.
O.o
23:00 Jun 01 2011
Times Read: 1,652
2.5 hours to operatic bliss!
I'm so giddy! :D
22:54 Jun 01 2011
Times Read: 1,656
Your disappearing act would be a good example of why I've maintained my distance. When faced with questions forcing you to deal with uncomfortable feelings.. you vanished. My time and energy is precious to me. I have so very little to give. It makes me less than happy to give some of my time and energy, just to have them bail on me without a word.. like a dead beat dad in the night.
If you have something to say, then say it. Do not be upset or think me a bitch when I question the reasoning behind your thoughts or feelings you have towards me. I was under the impression you had the good life, and were happy. If you're not happy, you should reconcile with your lover or part ways.
While I am a very caring, loving friend, I am no one's infatuation of convenience. I will be here to listen and talk as I can be for you, but that is all I can give. If you're seeking an online or real life playmate I can recommend some one who has no more respect for their body than a truck stop glory hole. I'm quite sure, their revolving door of a snatch is still in business. I'm certain she would love any attention you may provide her with.
I'm not saying any of this to be cruel or hateful. I'm just not a mind reader. I don't know what you're trying to say unless you say it, and I can't help you work through things if you're silent. I'll always do what I can to help you. Never forget that.
Today I fear I'm not myself. 10:24 Jun 01 2011
Times Read: 1,679
Today I've longed for someone to talk to, an ear to pour my inner turmoil upon. When the option was available, I became bitchy and standoffish. I have become rather muddled. My black and my white, have combined to make a rather bipolar shade of gray. Do not take offense, my friend, in my inability to speak with you. I save you the trouble of my incomprehensible thoughts.
I long to be free of my gilded cage. The life of the corporate Kunta Kinte holds little to no appeal to me now. Sweet freedom is not mine to taste, yet I crave it desperately. I remain bound by my nightly shackles. Condemned to a world of solitude. Damned be the soul which is bound by greed.
There used to be more to this person. Mostly what remains is jackassory and crudeness. The embodiment of things she ought not be. I wish to create, to pour my soul into a canvas, and my heart into the written word. I want to learn, teach, and grow. I want to inspire and be inspired. I want to be driven to perform for something other than the sake of performance. I long to find the things which will make me whole.
Worry not my friend. The wind, she speaks to me. Telling me there is help yet for this bitter time ravaged soul. To cling to the fire still burning somewhere deep within the chasm of ones being.
She whispers to me to tell you there is always hope awaiting you with the birth of the new day. And while the moonless night may hold no comfort for you, your sunrise is just around the corner. Hold on to your faith, always know you are loved, maintain the purity in your heart, and the darkest night will yet be relinquished to your sun once again.
08:17 Jun 01 2011
Times Read: 1,688
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
~ Lord Byron ~
COMMENTS
-
MooniePie
18:08 Jun 30 2011
A happy accident sounds like something you have after a happy ending massage .
PhoenicianDream
18:53 Jun 30 2011
Hahaha!
Now go clean the sticky out of your happy little eye!