21:36 Dec 08 2024
Times Read: 198
I enjoy Sunday mornings. I take the hubby to work, and I come back home and crawl back in bed. I think secretly the dogs love it too. Usually my two girl German Shepherds hop right in bed and snuggle up, sometimes the boy does too but not very often. He's usually sleeping right by the side of my bed. I put on Sunday Baroque and we snooze for a couple of hours until the huskies wake up and want out.
I've been sleeping on my heating pad the last couple of nights at the advice of massage therapist. She worked a couple of knots out of my shoulder blade area that made me dizzy and nauseous to have worked out. She said the small one was the size of a walnut, I didn't care to find out how big the bigger one was. I'll go see her a couple more times, but I will likely lose track of prioritizing self care again in a few months. There's just too much other stuff to do.
A few months ago I decided to sign up for an arts class at the local community college. I was thinking it would force me to have some 'me time' a couple of nights a week. If I don't find a way to force myself to do it, it'll never happen. Plus I get to learn an art that I've always wanted to try. It starts next month, and I'm nervous about it, but I think maybe it will be nice. I do have to say it was a bit unnerving walking into admissions and the people in my age group were either employees or people bringing their kids in to enroll. 🙄
It's been a shit year. In the span of 4 months a lot of shit happened. My dad had a stroke. Luckily he's okay, but it's still pretty scary when you're trying to usher your parents out the door to the hospital and they're taking their sweet ass time. My mom 'needed to get ready' and my dad.. stroke face and all, sat on the goddamn couch smoking while he was waiting for her. Yeah I know... You can't tell anyone in that age group shit when it comes to why they shouldn't be smoking. You'd have better luck signing to a blind person.
A couple of weeks after my dad came home and was settled in after his stroke, my best friend had two 'widowmaker' heart attacks and ended up having surgery and staying in the ICU for a while. I think that whole experience was more upsetting than my dad's stroke. You don't expect things to happen to people that young. Older people you kind of know there's always a chance of something happening. You don't expect death to come for your middle aged friends. Luckily she survived, and is doing better though not at 100% yet. She's still going to all kinds of doctors for health concerns and searching for underlying issues.
After my best friend made it home from the hospital, my uncle's health took a rapid decline. He's been battling a disease similar to ALS over the last few years, and he's been on a steady decline. No one relayed how rapid the decline was, and suddenly the news I heard was 'he has 6 months to live'. Before I could even go visit him, the status changed from 6 months, to he's decided to activate his DNR and stop eating since he's bed ridden. I went to see him, but he wasn't conscious. While I respect his decision to not continue on with no quality of life I really despise the fact that the only option available for him was to die slowly over the course of a week while his body shut down from lack of food and hydration. He was the nicest guy, and my favorite uncle. I miss him.
A few weeks after that my job did a round of layoffs. So I'm definitely worried about job security again.
Just before thanksgiving one of the outside cats had disappeared for a week. He showed up looking rough, he could barely move and was crying from pain. We took him to the vet, and were advised to put him down. He was the sweetest boy, and I'm going to miss him.
It's been a shit few months, and all I want to do when I have free time is sleep. It's to stressful to be awake dealing with things. Unfortunately I don't get a whole lot of time to sleep right now. There's just too much to do on a daily basis.
I can't really say I'm looking forward to Christmas this year. I just don't really have it in me, but I know I'll just find a way to power through it and fake smile at everyone because that's what I do. 🤷🏼♀️
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