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When do you start to believe the liar? When do you know the lies are over? When they have looked you in the eye time and again and artfully evaded the truth. When you realize the entire relationship was a lie. Up to a point.



How can you tell? Do you dare hope that the words uttered are the truth? Finally? Or can they ever change?



It's kind of like the boy who cried wolf.



I'm afraid.

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veauclin
20:59 Jun 03 2012

more often than not once a lier always a lier. but everyond does have it in them to change if they want it enough, so its possible

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With Pinja gone I now only have to do laundry, the dishes and the garbage once a week. Before it was daily lol. It's weird being in this house alone. It's my first time living by myself without a boyfriend, husband or children. My son spends a good share of his time at his dads. He likes the "family" atmosphere and routine. They have other children, his dad is married, they are financially well off and his school is just 2 blocks away. We have shared custody. And since I don't spend as much time on the computer like I used to I'm just not sure what to do with myself and my time. I exercise every day, make plans with my friends but it is still lonely.



I miss him.

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ladySnowStrixx
16:25 Apr 19 2012

Huggles , I'm sorry sweetie

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Would you like some ice cream with that cake?

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Mars
10:33 Apr 17 2012

I love ice cream cake

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PandorasBx
21:13 Apr 17 2012

It's my play on "having your cake and eating it too", heh.



I myself am not a big ice cream fan nor do I like ice cream cake :P

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Lullaby
21:41 Apr 17 2012

Whenever I see the word "cake" in your journal, it's like "Uh-oh, shit's goin' down." ;P

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PandorasBx
21:43 Apr 17 2012

Haha!!! Cunt Cake hehe

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TheArtistRose
23:27 Apr 18 2012

Aww, I didn't want a cow pie. (play on the "shit's goin' down part. lol)



Lol, I like saying "Would you like fries with that shake?" xD

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I find it rude and selfish when someone says they are going to do something and then they don't and I am left waiting and wondering. And yet they can find the time to do something else instead.



There is a reason he is my ex, sometimes I just need a little reminder of why and he always manages to deliver on that count.



Thank you, thank you so much.

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ladykate
01:57 Apr 16 2012

Sometimes something legitimate does come up in a person's life. I said I was going to hang out today and couldn't, because out of fricken nowhere my leg was killing me. Then again, when you see him again- simply ask him DO NOT come off accusatory.

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PandorasBx
02:38 Apr 16 2012

You don't know the situation, he doesn't live here for one and it was as simple as a phone call.

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These last few weeks have been difficult. I don't think a single day has gone by without a few tears shed. I try to keep busy but my mind always betrays me and wanders back to where it longs to be. I made the right decision but why does it feel so wrong?



One day at a time, but they feel so long.

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CarnelianMyst
01:03 Apr 07 2012

My mind wanders back to when I was married. I think, why the fuck didn't I kick his nuts HARDER when I had that chance?



:P LOLZ

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Oceanne
01:43 Apr 07 2012

~HUGS~

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JustinV
18:35 Apr 07 2012

Honestly, given my own situation, I don't think there's anyway to know if a decision was 'right' until we're looking at it much further into a future we can't imagine. And even then, I suspect we don't decide a decision was right so much as we understand why we made it in ways that we just can't at the time.



"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward."

~ Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

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PandorasBx
19:08 Apr 07 2012

So true :(

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Is there such a thing as monogamy anymore? Am I looking for something that just doesn't exist? Are my expectations too high?



There are no excuses. It is a choice. A choice each individual must make.



What is more important to you? The person you claim to love or the person you have nothing with or the person in a magazine?



A lifetime of love and all that comes with it or 5 minutes of orgasm?

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CryingMist
05:06 Apr 04 2012

my boyfriend told me once some people regardless of their gender can not be monogamus they have to have multiple partners, the thing is in this kind of relationships, it must works both ways and be consensual, for me I can only be mono no poly, and will be faithful as long as the other is, if the other stops I'll leave before doing anything with anyone else.





But this is just how I am, everyone is different.

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PandorasBx
05:11 Apr 04 2012

It is how I am as well.

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I must be out of my mind. I'm all kinds of messed up :(

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JustinV
23:00 Apr 03 2012

Hey - been away for awhile and just now catching up with people. Sorry to hear you're in a bad spot right now. Boy do I know that feeling this past year....so just know, thinking about ya.

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Admittedly I was pissed that he had no qualms about touching me like he did, he was acting like I was his even though he knew that I had just broke up with my boyfriend a week before.



Then I got to thinking that maybe it was just his way of showing his interest in me, flirting, sexual attraction. That perhaps it has been so long that I have felt what it was like to be desired by a man, pursued in earnest, wanted in THAT way, that I just didn't recognize it for what it was.



Btw, I'm not talking about the internet creepers but a guy I know where I live. He has "liked" me for some time now and while part of me is flattered and it feels good to be desired, I'm just not ready...

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TheArtistRose
01:12 Apr 02 2012

Time can heal things. I wish you the best. In the end, everyone deserves to be happy. :)

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PandorasBx
01:18 Apr 02 2012

Thanks Rose :)

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veauclin
01:41 Apr 02 2012

everyone does deserve happiness. none more so than you :)). take your time if his feelings are true he wont go anywhere

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