OrionPax's Vampire Journal | Personal Entries

OrionPax's Journal

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5 entries this month

Apr 2010 →

journal entry...5 i think?from now on im just namin them.
03:06 Mar 27 2010
Times Read: 583

So I think the girl at the chinese restaraunt next to where I work is sweet one me.lol.I go in there to get a sweet tea everyday,and she always seems REALLY happy to see me.Everytime im on my break she comes outside too and does that sexy strecthing thing girls sometimes do,you know,where they put thier arms up and behind them and stick thier chest WAAAY out?she does that everytime.lol.Now,I generally dont think too much of myself in the looks department,so such things usually whiz right by me unnoticed,as i do not expect them.

But noone stretches THAT much.lol.Today I sent a cashier over there to get my tea,and she told me when she asked the girl smiled really big and asked"is this for logan?"...i dont ever remember telling her my name.heh.Bit of an ego boost that was.

Between that,my recent promotion,and the warm welcome ive recieved from a lot of the people here(you guys rock:)),im in terrible danger of actually feeling GOOD about myself for once.;)Something completely awful is about to happen...i just know it.im gonna get mauled by a bear,or attacked by bats or sumthin...

COMMENTS

samara5
03:18 Mar 27 2010

LOL awww OP has a little lovey girl xD

i stretch like that,but not for that reason D: lol

yay for OP!

LOL i understand ya there OP..hahahaha.

Sinora
17:11 Mar 28 2010

Meh > If I stretch like that I'd put my back out lol

missvampirekitty
12:02 Mar 29 2010

thats awesome :D

SexySanguinarian
13:27 Mar 29 2010

LMFAO!! You sound just like me!! Everything is going well...too well for my life. Something bad is gonna happen! haha ^_^

As for the girl...ASK HER OUT!!! ^_^

ShadowFlower
04:01 Apr 02 2010

I wouldn't be surprised if she does like you, if you treat her the way you treat me (and probably everyone else on VR). You're just a likeable guy, what can I say? :}

MyArmyLife
06:21 Apr 13 2010

What? Are you not allowed to feel good or something?

Stop fighting it! Just go with the flow, guy. Have fun. ^_^

journal entry 4(or the uncommon variety garden snakes)
04:11 Mar 26 2010
Times Read: 590

There are people in the world with holes in them.Wicked,decietful people.Snakes,if you will.You will never see more dangerous creatures than this.They will slither up beside you and whisper sweetly in your ear.Tell you youre garden is not beautiful enough.That you should come to thiers.That you are not happy.Oh such things they will tell you my friends.And If by chance you believe them,I do not blame you.Not one little bit.The snakes need to fill the holes in them you see.They fill them with people.They have the uncanny gift of knowing EXACTLY what you want to hear.How to make you feel..special.

At first it feels wonderful.That glorious,special inducing venom filling your viens.But heres the catch...youre not special TO them.Youre special FOR them.Get it?Its a subtle but devastating difference.The hole in them is filled,however briefly,by putting holes in YOU.Holes they fill with thier own special venom.And THAT makes THEM feel special.This is the feeding cycle of the uncommon variety garden snake.

You will leave eveything behind for this feeling.Give up everything you have for that sweet sweet specialness.And i wouldnt..indeed CANNOT..blame you for that either.And once they have finished...once they have ...fed,the snake simply slithers on.Leaving you nothing but the dreadful feeliong of...UNspecial.

UNspecial,I believe,is possibly the most dreadful feeling in the world.I would not wish it on my worst enemy.I would,however gladly wish it on the snake.Except the snake is already UNspecial.Thats what starts the whole cycle.That horrible,all consuming feeling of UNspecial will consume you if you let it.Everything will seem dimmer.Hate Anger and Loss will you to consume you.The thing to remember,i think,is that the snakes special doesnt EXIST.IT IS A LIE.Do not seek it out.The best special is the simple special.You wont find the snakes special in normal people,and its probably better that way.

By no means am I saying everyone that makes you feel special is a snake.God..what a terrible world that would be.All im saying is..if it FEELS to good to be true...it probably is.Listen to your instincts,not the snake.Your instincts will NEVER steer you wrong.

Every garden has its snakes my friends.For god sakes...watch where you step.I truly hope none of you ever have to feel UNspecial.

COMMENTS

samara5
03:15 Mar 27 2010

Wow that was truley awsome,good job OP!

ShadowFlower
03:58 Apr 02 2010

Absolutely amazing thoughts. You really know how to speak to people's inner self. :}

MyArmyLife
06:25 Apr 13 2010

I had a really bad run in... for about two years.

I was engaged to such a snake. Then I went home for leave to visit my family, he went to see his, and married his ex girlfriend while he was there.

I never even knew anything was wrong.

I almost committed suicide after that one.

I spent weeks wondering what was wrong with me, what I'd done.... It was horrible.

journal entry 3
13:29 Mar 21 2010
Times Read: 610

ok..ive been here about a week,and i gotta get this of my chest.i get the protection stamps...i like them.nothin wrong with standin by ur friends.but ive seen quite a few profiles by now,and the arrogance level of some of them borders on ridiculous.internet badasses get on my damn nerves.u REALLY gonna track me down,fly here(or drive,depending on location)to stab me in the chest and do terrible things to me if i hurt someones feelings?(not that i plan too,im rilly quite polite,but thats not the point)man...before you do that message me.ill stab my own self in the chest.save ya the trip.unless ur like 15,i dont get telling everyone about ur badassness on the internet.when u go off about the terrible things ull do if ur friends feelings r hurt,ur rilly just massaging ur own ego.makin urself feel good.thats like high school shit.i hated high school.whens the last time u actually NEEDED to be a badass?i cant remember...i myself am quite average,by no means super tough.if u hurt my friends feelins ill suggest they block you.im probably NOT going to do horrible things to you.because i understand reality.and travel is expensive.again..not rilly talkin bout stamps.MOST of those r pretty cool.just the aggression level of some people.let the ego go and just be cool.we can all be friends.im just here to meet people and have fun.i know im new,and if im outta line i apologize.i just saw a few profiles tongiht that rilly marshed my mallow yaknow?peace and love my friends.and no stabbing each other.

COMMENTS

Eleanna
10:43 Mar 25 2010

Amen, no need for the stabbing! lol

samara5
11:06 Mar 25 2010

i also agree with this one lol i likes the way you think :D

MyArmyLife
06:27 Apr 13 2010

Yea.. good luck getting that to catch on. *laughs*

journal entry 2
07:44 Mar 21 2010
Times Read: 611

So Ive been thinking a lot lately about happiness.Its nature,what it means,how to attain it.Heres what I know.Or what I THINK I know.Cause my track record for KNOWING things is just fucking horrible..Happiness in never going to magically appear and solve all your problems.Hell..A lot of the times when u look back u were the happiest when you THOUGHT you had problems.

Real happiness is EARNED.And it can take a LONG time.Your whole life even.True happiness takes blood, sweat and tears.And you rarely find it by LOOKING.Happy is hardly ever magical,despite what hollywood and the lifetime channel tells us.

Its different for everyone...one mans laughter is another mans tears.Thats what makes it so difficult.I get up almost everyday and work my feet to blisters for mine.Ill earn it if it takes the rest of my life.Me and my family will continue to learn and grow.I will do everything in my power to make them happy,because therin lies MY happy.It will not be easy.But thats what makes it REAL.

.......yeah...didnt think I could be serious after the giraffe thing didja?PWNED.

Go out and earn your happy my friends.

COMMENTS

brokenbox
09:27 Mar 25 2010

this is brilliant. =)

samara5
11:04 Mar 25 2010

LOL silly

exaclty!!!i agree :D

ravenvampire
03:43 Apr 01 2010

This is awesome and so true. ^_^

MyArmyLife
06:29 Apr 13 2010

While I admire your happy being able to make others happy, it's not healthy.

You can't keep them happy all the time.

Your true happy will come to you when you learn to be a little selfish and take care of yourself for a bit instead of everyone else. ^_^