A nostalgic rant of sorts18:53 Sep 24 2024
Times Read: 174
Some things have changed. Many have stayed the same. Have three cats now. Dionysus, our oldest cat just a teen, is still here with us, but now we have two new kittens, a six week old girl named Xerces, and a 5 or so week old boy named Gargoyle. They're all absolutely adorable albeit very noisy and rowdy. Doing is jealous of the attention they're getting but that's to be expected I suppose.
Other than all that, I'm still working at the shitty burger franchise, my boyfriend does too now. He works a separate shift than me, however. Because of this, I rarely see him on our working days, but we share the same off days which is nice. We always spend them together for the most part. We're always together. Tied together by that invisible red thread. I can feel it's strength. On our off days, we walk the train tracks hunting for bones, recently we've been Halloween hunting. The local flower shop sells pumpkins now. All kinds of different species of them. Long ones, lumpy ones, bumpy ones, ugly ones, black, green yellow, and regular smooth ol orange ones, we've been collecting them because we plan on doing a pumpkin carving party with the neighbors and their kids and some close friends. We also go to the state park sometimes.
Really, we just want to be outside. I get so cooped up sometimes. Especially lately. I'm not built to stay inside all the time. I grew up in this tourist trap beach town ofn the Oregon coast. The Pacific Northwest they call it. Rainy, cold, and filled with spoiled rich tourists, but beautiful, and I love it anyway. I'm far from it now and miss it terribly sometimes. I feel dried out a lot. On a spiritual level. I don't know how to explain it. Like my body was once filled with salt water and because there's none in the air here in Texas, I've lost what was once in my body to make up for it like some kind of reserve, and now it's all gone and I'm dried up. I go to the ocean very rarely these days since it's a ways away and we don't have a car. I feel very trapped in this black hole of a town. Boutiques, nail salons, gas stations, car washes, and not very much personality unless you count the suburban wives who make hair bows and decorate tumblers with their cricket machines for their varsity kids. Fake turquoise jewelry and bob haircuts. It's mind numbing.
I lived in the Boston area for a while on and off. I adored it. Everyone was their own unique character and everything was open after 9pm. Clubs, bars, events, venues. All open long past midnight. I felt alive. They don't have any of those here. The kids are alright here but then highschool comes and it beats the alternative uniqueness out of them like military school without fail. I made it out. No one else in this town seems to be that lucky. The amount of times I've heard people say "why would I want to leave Texas? All my family is here" breaks my heart. I'd get it of course I do. The problem is, they're obsessed with family here. My sister's ex fiancee was obsessed with his mother and father (not dissimilar from ed gein) and he insisted on involving them in every matter of his life. And a lot of families here are like that.
Maybe I'm the minority, but it reminds me of the stepford wives and cult mentality. Wow, sorry for the train derailment. What else is new? The Halloween party! Bought my costume. Gonna be a fallen angel. Will add a photo maybe. We'll see. Lots of money sunk into it. Plus, the car I don't have yet, the holidays, birthdays.. most expensive time of the year they say. And they're right.
Anyways, guess I'll go. Leave a comment if you'd like
COMMENTS
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STABB666
19:14 Sep 24 2024
I'd like to comment.
I made the leap. It was a big one and I had the greatest support and opportunity I've ever been graced with. It is doable, the escape, but I had to find the truth of me, and my reason for being, before I leapt, otherwise I'd have been jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.
MisterSacrifice
21:28 Sep 28 2024
Wow!! You are great in telling stories.
Hope you will come back at the sea for a break, maybe with your own car.