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I figured out that my creativity is highest after I've had my two cups of coffee and played on websites for an hour. So now I'm finally drawing a card for my grandmother and writing to her in German. If I put it off until tonight it wouldn't happen.
So my creative endeavors are first thing.. I'll get more done this way.

COMMENTS

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NikkiAidyn
15:14 Feb 27 2019

I think I'll make writing Oma a regular thing again. It would make her happy and I can practice/keep up with my German

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POST COMMENT

Under your scope so you can see close
Analyze the way that my colors take fold
You pin my wings down so you can find out
How long it'll take 'til I fall to the open ground
I drag around all the weight of your words
Shutting me down so your voice can be heard
Make me your clone, make me your own
You think you're curing a disease
You got the answers, the vaccines
You're making me hate me, making me hate me
Pull at the strings to play your scene
But I cut the ties from underneath
You'll never save me, you'll never save me
'Cause I wanna know, and do you reap what you sow?
And do you dull whatever seems to have a pulse?
You try and fix me, to fix your machine
But what's alive can never live without a soul
I drag around all the weight of your words
Shutting me down so your voice can be heard
Make me your clone, make me your own
You think you're curing a disease
You got the answers, the vaccines
You're making me hate me, making me hate me
Pull at the strings to play your scene
But I cut the ties from underneath
You'll never save me, you'll never save me
Try to be the one that you want and it just wasn't enough
You took all my pride and turned it to dust
You take my fragile bones and you'll make them your own
You wanted everything 'til nothing's left of me

COMMENTS

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SinfulMelody
13:57 Feb 15 2019

wow

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XTheGatekeeperX
14:49 Feb 15 2019

This is a great song and band . Love the song Ghost by them

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NikkiAidyn
15:03 Feb 15 2019

I know. I listened to the whole new CD today. Not one bad song

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POST COMMENT

I've been away, a little while, sometimes I just can't help myself
When my mind’s running wild, I seem to lose grip on reality
And I try to disregard the crazy things the voices tell me to do, but it's no use
I tried to own it, write songs about it
Believe me I tried, in the end I needed to breathe
Find inspiration, some kind of purpose
To take a second to face the shit that makes me, me
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To sit alone in a room and say it all out loud
Every moment, every second, every trespass
Every awful thing, every broken dream
A couple years back and forth with myself in a cage
Banging my head against the wall tryna put words on a page
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To be alone in a room, alone in a room
I saw the world a couple times, tried to cure the ache with absence
But that hole was still a hole and my mind kept playing tricks on me
Feeling older every day, took everything I had to not crash and burn
But I'm starting to learn
Sometimes I'll fall down, sometimes I'll lose hope
But those days will be few if I keep my feet on the ground
I might be lonely, but I ain't alone here
So I keep pushing the limits of what makes me
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To sit alone in a room and say it all out loud
Every moment, every second, every trespass
Every awful thing, every broken dream
A couple years back and forth with myself in a cage
Banging my head against the wall tryna put words on a page
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To be alone in a room, alone in a room
I can be better than I was
I can be better than I am
All I needed was the last thing I wanted
To sit alone in a room

I've figured out what I want for my next tattoo(s). It's going to be my first color tattoo(s) and it'll probably be the most expensive... I want to get the chakra symbols up my spine...with their corresponding colors and designs... I'm going to design them myself of course, so that I'm not copying them completely... I'd like to conjoin them somehow with the flower of life design... New art project for me. I just need to get some colored pencils... All I have is graphite and charcoal to draw with and that won't work for this project...well maybe at first. Time to start saving $$$.

COMMENTS

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Dakotah
21:48 Feb 08 2019

That would be cool tat. I am consider getting one this summer. Be honest, is it really painful? I am thinking getting cree symbols across my neck the part like where a neck chain would go. I have not yet decided just what I want it to say yet.

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AbsintheandBlood
23:37 Feb 08 2019

Its great you create your own. I love tats , I compare them to a great sexual experience .

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SinfulMelody
10:47 Feb 09 2019

would look epic!

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NikkiAidyn
13:44 Feb 09 2019

I dont consider them sexual... it's more of a meditation for me

It's not painful unless it's on bone. So it's going to hurt but I'm masochistic so it's ok

Thanks alex

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NikkiAidyn
13:45 Feb 09 2019

I think I'm going to add a dragon to it as well

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AbsintheandBlood
20:05 Feb 09 2019

What I meant by sexual experience is the pain gives me a euphoric feeling kinda arousing . I too am a masochistic which I feel that's why my endorphins give me that feeling. I dont know ask your tattooist he or she will most likely tell you a lot of people feel this way when getting tats .

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NikkiAidyn
22:01 Feb 09 2019

Oh I definitely get that

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POST COMMENT

I will run alone tonight
Without you by my side
I guess you had a place you had to get to
I know your eyes
I know inside
The walls you hide behind
And I saw the truth inside the real you
Because I know you're lost when you run away
Into the same black holes and black mistakes
Taking all my will just to run alone
When are you coming home?
Even if the sky does fall
Even if they take it all
There's no pain that I won't go through
Even if I have to die for you
And when all the fires burn
When everything is overturning
There's no thing that I won't go through
Even if I have to die for you
One day the earth will open wide
And I'll follow you inside
Cause the only hell I know is without you
Some day when galaxies collide
We'll be lost on different skies
I will send my rocket ship to find you
Because I know you're lost when you run away
Into the same black holes and black mistakes
Taking all my will just to run alone
Until I bring you home
Even if the sky does fall
Even if they take it all
There's no pain that I won't go through
Even if I have to die for you
And when all the fires burn
When everything is overturning
There's no thing that I won't go through
Even if I have to die for you
And if the sun grows cold for you along the way
And if the stars don't line to light the way
And when you fall away and crash back down below
I'll search the skies for you and I'll follow
I'll be in your afterglow
And I'll bring you home
Even if the sky does fall
Even if they take it all
I can't see but I'll follow you
Even if I'd die...
And when all the fires burn
When everything is overturning
There's no thing that I won't go through
Even if I have to die for you