Eating disorders are not a choice.
Eating disorders are not something someone can just snap out of.
Eating disorders are not just skinny pretty girls....
Eating disorders are not something that you can escape easily.
I no girls whom are 96 pounds who eat all day. I know girls who weigh 200 pounds and eat nothing. I know girls who are terrorized for having ED just eat a sandwich isnt going to help. Your thin enough is not enough to calm the soul infest with the fecund ana .
since im already losing weight. With the propesed abortion about two weeks away. I think im gonna subcum to my ED for a while till i get to PA
I went from looking like a thinspo model to a relatively thin and busty girl. I went from a 20 inch waist to a 27. ITS HEALTHY i keep telling my self ....
YOU A FAT POS Ana tells me in the background....
I am eating decently .... but fuck .... it creeping back worse than before....
Pregnancy and eating disorders. Its shitty. I have lost 10 pounds. (both yay and an oh fuck) My dad is just saying get rid of it. So is my uncle. And my boyfriend. Have kids later on in life. this thing is gonna kill you. I have been reading about my eating disorder. EDNOS. And its anorexia/bulimia wo the loss hair teeth and still having a "normal" body weight.
So almost all year I have avoided HS drama. Becuase in the grand scheme of things the only part of HS that matters is your education. I am not an introvert i just perfer a different tasting person than the typical teenage companion. I do have friends my age and they give as much fucks as I do about BS.
Last week My Bf's sister was threatening to kill me. The lack of my Bf taking action over this issue upset me. We got into a fight (simply verbal) His sister had gotten involved and he kicked me out. I stayed at a friends house for several days. My bf's mother threw all my stuff out side. My so-called friend picked it up. On Friday evening My bf confronted me apologized saying that I do not deserve to go through what his sister was doing to me and bc of the pregnancy he wanted to care of me (and we are still not sure if its coming to term....I decided to keep it unless my health was further endangered) I decided to move back in. I am leaving to PA a week after graduation so even though things may be tense living with him its nonly for a short time. Thats my "home" drama. My "HS" drama is my "friend" I stayed with is now calling me an ungrateful drug addict. She with held my kidney medication from me. And now she and another "friend" are going around talking shit. So yesterday they wwant to copy my math papers. Which I was not inclined after they had called me stupid. (Bc since they are so smart why are they asking a stupid person for the correct answer... *sighs the future math major*) But Guess what I am not mad I am not upset just kind of thrown off and irratated. So they can talk shit and say "mean" things to me. I have little shit to give. 9 days till graduation. Then I will never see them again.
Right now. I am really struggling with my eating disorder (EDNOS) and my major depression. My uncle is helping me becuase he is going through the same kind of depression. And the EDNOS is hurting my health and top of the bad pregnancy. I am trying. I am scheduling therapy appointments and setting personal goals and looking for motivation. IDK. The EDNOS is very hard. Espescially whit my current state.
COMMENTS
I hope a flock of Locusts flies up your twat simply because you murdered a baby then bragged about it .
Who cares whether you live or die a huge percent of people on this site think you are scum .
Block Heyokha. He's like a dog too stupid to know when to stop (and so is his faux "wife") - he will just keep coming back and harassing you.
Considering he lives with his mother and is e-married to a junkie whore, it's not surprising that he continues to say bitter things to/about you. Just block him, honey - you aren't the first or the last person he'll continue to hound.
wow so this is weird
who cares if any one lives or dies. we are all parasites to mother earth. My pregnancy is hurting my health. Which was not up to par to begin with. I am told im a pos bc i have an eating disorder and i should suck it up. and I cant that's not how it works its painful and terrifying. Ive considered keeping it. My aunt said she would adopt the baby. But it is unlikely to come to term and is garenteed to hurt me. SO YES I AM A BAD PERSON IF YOU VIEW ME AS SUCH BUT I DONT CARE!!!
In all sincerity I believe you should seek some type of legitimate therapy for the benefit of you and your unborn child should you decide to go full term. I don't believe living in a hostile environment is good for you or your unborn child and seeking feedback from the jackasses and dunderheads of VR is definitely not doing justice to the gravity of your situation. Just my reaction to what I am seeing here. Hope all goes for the best.
I am used to picking up after myself and children. I am used to cooking. I am used to working. I am not complaining about that but when you take my money and expect me to wipe your ass I AM DONE. I am not picking up after a 40 y/o woman I am not picking up after a 17 Y/o girl. I am not handing my money out to them just because they throw their cash away on junk. I am officially drawing a line.
Getting the fuck out of my boyfriend's house. You think I would know a POS by this point. Moving in with my dad after graduation going to a JC over by him any how.
so my finacee was talking to this dom and it got ugly really quick
Sighs....!7 days till graduation and a lil over a month till I move out.
Hopefully I will not have a seizure for another 48 hours. The medical bills are piling up between my fiancee and I. (he has marphan's syndrome)
I had another seizure Saturday morning. it was non epileptic and I had to stay in the hospital over night. I had two sonograms while their and apparently the fetus now has an equivalence to a heart murmur. If I have another seizure before Wednesday I wont be needed to go to the Abortion clinic. Afterwards the following week I will be subjected to CAT scans and other radiology. Despite the fact that US hospitals usually don't tie tubes on women before the age of 25 I may be receiving one by June. Looking at the ultra sounds on Friday (from when I went to the clinic) and Sunday (at the hospital) both the heart and the spine have been effected by my seizures. At this point the cause of the seizures are unknown because they were not caused by epileptic triggers or drugs. I may have a cyst in my nervous system or brain but I cannot find out till after termination. My boyfriend, his mother and I decided to have a pseudo funeral for the fetus.
I am scared. I am admitting it.
Graduation only weeks away if i am not stuck in the hospital for that. FUKKKKKKKKKK
I am going to volunteer at my local women's crisis shelter this weekend and I think I should warn these strong women about people like I have dealt with on here.
COMMENTS
Well you can warn them that there are strong women on this website who in fact know how to stand up for themselves, and recognize a person who is just mean to the core. You realize there are train professionals who teach women in crisis how to recognize the mean people and stay away from them. I hope you don't hurt their feelings by calling them fat.
Been in a shelter, (abusive husand) also helped in a shelter and honestly... find it rude find it however you want, the way you act I am surprise they accepted your help, because how you name call woman who are fat or other similarity in physical attribut or others mental issues, well you will not help, probably you will cause more dammage, might want to first learn what are the consequences and attitude in regards to this type of help.
And get the training for that, because these woman don't need to be told to loose wieght or that because they got rape or abuse or that their family is doing this or that , then the need to go to extrem measure and most of all. And you clearly showed you will do that kind of thing.
the most important thing, the way you enter in your journal stuff publicalythen complain about comments of others and post entries with all caps like a kid yelling in a toy store because mom said no, shows imaturity.
if you want to help others, start by helping yourself, and then you can help. Cause right now, you only going to cause dammage.
You need to grow up,and mature then you will be able to help. Some people take 20 years to mature others take 30, no one is the same. But right now, you are like a kid and act like a kid and think like a kid. Plus a dammage tool can not fix another dammage tool, it needs repair first and you are like a dammage tool so fix yourself then you can help others.
After reading your entry you posted that I will repost here to refresh your memory, yeah sure your one to be teaching other woman. Your not one to be teaching other women anything. Your boyfriend, as you called him, left you in the ER to get high. If anything YOU need to be in a crisis shelter getting help. If all you post is really true, I hope you do get help.
11:32:28 - Apr 23 2014
Times Read: 153
I went to the ER monday night only to have my boyfriend leave to go get high. he was too scared to walk back because it was dark. I had to go through a pelvic exam and an ultrasound w.o. his support. I am going to the abortion clinic next week.
after a bit of recon and talking to people those trying to bully me into silence are renown VR ATTENTION WHORES!!! I do not go around starting shit with people. I am using a blog. I am not begging for attention. I am telling my story to hopefully help or inspire people.
Oh.... BTW you cannot be a whore for having sex with your fiancee ... nor are you a whore when you are raped. Remember that girls. RAPE DOESN'T MAKE YOU A WHORE! HAVING A HEALTHY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER ISN'T A BEING A WHORE!!!
COMMENTS
Who called you a whore for sleeping with your boyfriend and getting prego - but seriously you should have thought the ramifications of sleeping with him and knowing that birth control is 98% effective. If you know you can't have a baby, and carry it to term you should have had your tubes tied first.
As you being raped by your father, I am sorry about that, there are control freaks all over this world, that just don't care who they hurt. I hope you have gotten the psychological assistance necessary to deal with such trauma.
98% of the people who left you anti-abortion comments are cunts who continually feed off of drama and the hurt they can cause others. They have a very long history of seeking or picking fights on this site and others.
Trust me, they're way, way beneath you.
Ironically, one of those retards who left you hate is someone who also laughed and attempted to mock me for studying nursing and wanting to be a midwife.
They don't understand the slightest thing about medical science or even (sadly enough, as some claim to be grown women) the slightest thing about conception and their own bodies.
The American schooling system scares me when so many people don't know the slightest thing about birth, pregnancy, terms and conception. The religious bullshit embedded into schools seems to hinder and even prohibit women knowing about their own bodies, covering up the medical science of it with "It's baby killing" and "It's a sin". For example, some women don't realise that the place they pee out of is not their vagina. It's separate. And they then dare criticise a woman on her INFORMED decision to have an abortion on a medically inviable foetus?
Ridiculous.
And even if it was a viable foetus, again, it's your INFORMED decision.
People shouldn't be shamed for talking about abortions.
I like you person
so i am getting low rating and negative honor for having a medically necessary abortion. I am getting called a cunt and a whore for being raped and then moving on with my life and having a healthy sexual relationship with my current fiancee. Lovely. I see that vampire rave is not a place to be open about yourself. People claim its for the like minded but you seem to pick and choose what they read;. But I guess I have "haters" and so did Marilyn Manson, Albert Einstein, and most feminists so I am truly honored to have your hate.
COMMENTS
I am not trying to be ugly here, but when you post personal stuff like this in your journal you invite people to comment, good and bad. You have to be prepared to handle the comments that you receive.
I know this and I appreciate your comment. I am used to this behavior from people. But I know for a fact a lot of women go through this and are demonized and I want to be a role model for those women. I have met several other girls that are in a situation that I had just escaped from and Am encouraging them to help and not submit to their abusers and "haters" like this
Keeping a child that was the result of rape is NOT submitting to your abusers. There are so many people out there who can't have children that would love to. Carry the baby and give it up for adoption if you can't take care of it. Don't kill it. I can understand medical reasons for having an abortion but just to get rid of a baby because you don't want it is wrong. I've been in your situation and I would have NEVER killed my baby for any reason. I don't think you are a whore. I do think that you are a selfish person and will never find happiness in your life. And if you didn't want negative or positive feedback on your journal than you shouldn't have posted one. That's all I have to say.
You are not a whore, you may be doing something that I don't agree with but that doesn't make you a slut or whore, it makes you a human being, who is using the viable options available to you. But if you could carry the baby to term, I know plenty of families that would adopt that baby, regardless of its health issues, because they want to start a family and love a baby. I've known plenty of people who have done this, including family and friends. It is an option. But one that you don't want to consider, or so it appears from your journals.
You people think you can hurt my feelings.
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