THIS JOURNAL IS ON 163 FAVORITE JOURNAL LISTSHonor: 0 [ Give / Take ]
14 entries this month
16:48 Feb 26 2011
Times Read: 657
It's beautiful outside today. Warmer outside then it is in the house. Just did up all the dishes took care of all the animals and opened the windows to let some of that warm weather in.
Perhaps do some baking today.
Have a nice weekend everyone !
01:10 Feb 23 2011
Times Read: 677
Pessimists are just optimists with experience.
So which are you ?
00:43 Feb 23 2011
Times Read: 686
A year ago I called you, through tears I cried so hard. I didn't want to let you go, but new I had to though. I tried to hard not to cry, but there were reason that only you knew why. I took the very long trip all the way back up North, the whole way wondering what it was I was going to say. How was I going to say it with people being able to understand what it was I was trying to say.
I believe that things happen for a reason, but can't understand for what reason, when someone so great suddenly leaves this earth with no time to say good-byes. I knew the day was coming, and I knew that before I left.
So am ny thoughts crossed my mind, as I sat and tried to write the euloge. It's hard to understand why the good are taken away too soon, and the evil are still here making people miserable. Everyone get saying you will get over it. But honestly, you never get over it, you find a way to get through it.
Today is one of those days when I just need my Mom and my Gram. I miss seeing and talking to them. I hate it that they are not here anymore. I hope they are watching over me.
What you suffered you told so few,
you did not deserve what you went through,
Tired and weary you made no fuss,
But tried so hard to stay with us.
I love you, Granny.
00:13 Feb 23 2011
Times Read: 699
Why is it that when you're in a happy mood the emotional vampires decide it's time to complain?
19:44 Feb 19 2011
Times Read: 739
Last week ended with saddness as my gram passed away last Sunday and Last night my cousin and his new wife had their first baby.
Bauer Arciero Wilson, born 9:11 pm 6lb 6oz, 18inches. I am so happy for them as our family has seen so much death, my grandfather in 04 (cancer) my cousins brother Stephen was killed in Iraq in '07 , my Mom in 09, my Mom's Mom and my Dad's Mom February '10 and my Stepmom's Mom February '11.
from death comes rebirth....and the cycles starts anew.
PRIVATE ENTRY
04:13 Feb 14 2011
Times Read: 887
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
PRIVATE ENTRY
03:41 Feb 14 2011
Times Read: 896
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
PRIVATE ENTRY
17:44 Feb 13 2011
Times Read: 921
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
05:38 Feb 13 2011
Times Read: 936
Does the turmoil ever go away? my parents called tonight to tell me that Gram had 5 strokes today. On top of everything else that is going on, it has been one bad day after another. And no I do not want to hear that your never given anymore then you can handle because that is just crap. Three deaths, 2 complete assholes and one corrupt judge. One very torn up woman who has had just about enough. Yes I know death happens, people are assholes and the judicial system is screwed. But come on now... Really.... Really...I am one card short of losing it all together. If i am not crying I am angry and when I am not angry I am sleeping or can't sleep and am researching and researching how all of this bullshit is happening.
22:47 Feb 10 2011
Times Read: 964
And the blows just keep coming...How much does a person have to take before they are brought to their knees and just fold ? Every door i come to is slammed in my face... every avenue I travel down leads to the same dead end.
All I want is my son, all he wants is to be with me, state says he can be emanstipated at 18, thats 4 years from now. I have barely been able to make it this long with out him. It held against me for escaping from a physical abusive man, but it not held against him for being a an abuser.......I could write my own fucking lifetime movie on all of this. If i was wealthy and could afford the 5000 to 10000 retainer fee maybe I would have chance but I dont. So this judge is going to make me continue to make the trips back and forth until i either give up cant afford to do it any more..........
02:15 Feb 09 2011
Times Read: 1,005
Today has been a sad and exhausting day and I just dont have it in me to continue to talk about it because I am truely heartbroken.
So I will say what happened in court today.
I was shown that evil over saw good today. The judge who is as corrupt as they come adviced me that leaving NY to start over was abandoning my son. Even though he was left in the care of my parents who have legal guardianship of him. I was adviced that my health was not a good enough reason, even though I had doctors submit letters stating this. It was not good enough that i left because I was in an abusive relationship. It was not good enough that I jumped through hoops and did everything that was asked of me and it was not good enough that i have been back up to see alex and spent a month with him. Or that I talk to him on the phone if not daily then every other day.
But it was ok that his father has not completed any of the tasks he was adviced he was to do, and that he had 2 more domestic violence charges and a dwi or that he is on probabtion and has failed 3 drugs tests and was suspended for drinking on the job at work. Lets also add that when my son goes to his fathers house on the weekend he does not have a rtoom or a bed, he is forced to sleep on the floor and the house doesnt get any warmer then 55 degrees because he has inadaquet heat and the reason he is sleeping on the floor is so that a girl he didnt know he let move in with after being told that she had been arrested for beating her teenage daughter up, was given the make shift bedroom that was my sons. There is no running water in the bathroom and yet he is still drinking.
Upon all of that, he was charged with endangering the welfare of my child, but he still has rights to see them .
So, yes I am a bit upset and at this point I fail to see that justice is dealt fairly. If you kow of any way or can think of something that can help, let me know.
18:08 Feb 08 2011
Times Read: 1,027
Im am physically and emotionally drained. Court did not go well. Again I was shown just how corrupt that country really is. I was told that relocating was adandoning my son. even though i talk to him if not every day then every other day and the fact that i went up to ny and spent a month with him in august. I was told that having RA and Fibro was no reason to move and that he had a court clerk that has the same does just fine in ny. so i guess he is a doctor now too. He had already made up his mind that he was not going to allow me to have my son. and he said so in court -- i just requested the court transcripts to bring to an attorny being he already made a descion witth out having the facts.
15:03 Feb 07 2011
Times Read: 1,038
Deju vu all over again.
Update on my Grandmother
My parents and my aunts and uncles have to decide tonight whether they are going to remove the lifesupport or continue to keep her alive artificially. On top of the fact that she now has a blood infection. The doctors said that putting her on the ventilator was only temporary and that it would be for only two weeks.
It's very hard to hear your parents cry, as I listened to the saddness in my fathers voice this morning as he through choking back tears as he said it just like it was a year ago when your grandmother passed away.
Tomarrow we have court regarding the custody of Alex. We have deciided that it would be best to let him finish up the school year and then come up and get him in June.
Yes it will be hard but if that is how it has to be atleast I can then look forward to knowing that in 4 months I will have him here with me.
That's all I can say right now, as this is all very stressful on me.
17:51 Feb 04 2011
Times Read: 1,063
Well, after the fact that I was able to sleep for 12 hours with out waking up at all, I woke up last to see my parents had called. B didn't want to wake me up because I had finally beaten the Sandman and found a peaceful sleep. Fell asleep sometime around 2 pm after I had talked with someone on the phone ( no you didn't put me to sleep, it was rather nice talking to you :D ) I sleep Until 2 am this morning.
I checked my voice mail and heard call home. I wasn't going to call and wake them up, so I was waiting until 8 am to call. When i then recieved a message from my ex stating I needed to call home. At this point that feeling of dread had already engulfed me. Now being that I lost my Mom's Mom and my Fathers Mom with in three days of each other last year anytime my parents call I get that aweful feeling. The only grandparents I have left are my stepmothers parents.
I know my grandfather hasn't been well and my grandmother had just had a hip replacement surgery a week ago, I was a bit nervious calling my dad back.
So I called my parents out almost hoping they wouldnt answer. My mom answered, and I couild hear the saddness in her voice. She stated that the surgery had went welll and they had moved her to the recovery nursing home. Upon arriving there her blood pressure bottomed out and she was not able to breath. They put her on a ventalor because she can not breath on her own and her health is fading quickly. The drs do to not expect her to recover and my Mom and my aunts were called in to discuss whether they wanted a DNR. They all agreed that was what they wanted to do if it came down to it. Now a year ago she had open heart surgery and she had a pacemaker installed.
Now my grandfather is 91 yrs old and he has borderline dementia, and my mom and dad and aunts and uncles have all been taking turns caring for him. He was still living at home with Gram, but with her in the hospital its been hard on him and his health is that great either, as he has been having memory lapses and not knowing who he is or where he is.
For me this feels like Deja Vu, as loosing my two grandmothers last february was very hard on me, and yet here we are again.
I would ask if you all could keep my family in your thoughts.
Thank you
Rachy
RECENT MEMBER PAGES
Venerable Sire (133)
Haunt (40)
Venerable Sire (133)
REAL VAMPIRES LOVE VAMPIRE RAVE
Vampire Rave is a member of
Page generated in 0.0784 seconds.
COMMENTS
-
atyourwindow
19:45 Feb 26 2011
its not THAT nice outside...but it's still better than snow :)