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My head is on fire, my heart is palpitating hard and fast, am scared shitless and I don't know what is going to happen to me. I am afraid to grow up more, cause more I grow up the more I am lost in my decisions. I am not like I used to. I used to be brave, never give a shit of what happens no matter what decision I take. Now I am lost. Don't tell me to pray god cause I do not believe in it. Do not tell me to have faith in myself cause i am doubting myself let alone my decisions and thoughts.

I want to be 19 or 21 again cause I was really an awesome person who was brave and never gave a fuck what people judged me for or the consequences I was ready to pay for. Please someone tell me why growing up is terrible and scary? its no fun growing up =(