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2 entries this month
My Beloved (Love Lost)
07:13 Feb 08 2006
Times Read: 781
Ages seem to have passed since I last saw your face. You had such friendly, happy eyes. They always seemed to dance when you laughed. Your smile was priceless. It was always there. Even when you were sad, you wore a smile on your beautiful, doll-like face. Your skin was always so soft and warm. I loved the feel of it against me. I always felt safe in your strong, loving arms, like nothing could ever hurt me.
I'm still haunted by the way those eyes of yours would look at me. I never feared them, even when you were angry. You always seemed to know when something was wrong. You would speak to me so gently and I was never afraid to talk to you. You would always hold me so tightly when I was crying. And when you would kiss me, I knew everything was going to be ok. Nothing else seemed to matter any more. I miss your kisses. They were always so warm, and soft, and meaningful. I miss the way your hair smelled. Sometimes I wake up at night and I can still feel you next to me, or even smell a hit of your aftershave in the air.
Why must life be so cruel as to take something so wonderful, so perfect away when you seem to need it the most?
You made me promise you that I would keep living. You said that I deserved that. I'm still here, but the best part of me died with you. Now, I'm just the shell of the person that used to be. I can't move on because I gave you my heart. And you took it with you to your grave. I'll always miss you. You've all I've ever wanted. I feel very fortunate to have been able to call you mine for the short time that you were here.
Letters Pt. II: Hell On Earth
17:20 Feb 01 2006
Times Read: 790
My dearest Creator,
How sad you seem. I thought you would be happy to look in the mirror and see someone else staring back at you. Being told that that's what you look like and yet knowing that it isn't is like having pins and needles shoved through your eyes. Honestly, I think it's more of a much needed improvement on your appearance really.
I know you probably want to scream at me and make me feel like that helpless child that you think I still am. That's what you've always done. Irrationality takes over and you seem to not be able to control what you say. So disappointing, especially when coming from such a control freak. You've always liked to think that you've had complete control over everything. Don't worry though. Now I control your words and all of their hatefulness, which I'm more than sure that you have a lot of now. Or is that fear? The fear of being silent maybe? It's kind of hard to talk when you no longer have a tongue in your mouth to talk with isn't it. You would know. Besides, I think it's time for you to be silent, stop talking, give your vocal cords a rest. You seem to have forgotten to have done this until now.
You always seemed to like telling people how strong you were. Well, you don't act very strong now.
I took your ears away; you never listened to me. I didn't see any point in allowing you to keep something that you never learned how to use. Your vocal cords were so tired and worn out. You greatly abused the privilege of having them so I removed them as well. However I was feeling a little generous and I allowed you to keep your shriveled up and hardly used brain. If I were to take that away from you as well, then you wouldn't be able to enjoy your new life. You're on your own now. Maybe this will make you realize how you've made me feel. Welcome to my hell. Enjoy the pain. It's all you have now.
Forever Yours,
Misery
P.S. By now I'm sure you've realized that there are much more hateful beings in this world besides yourself. After all, you created one. Me!
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