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So, today I was at work when I've had the worst migraine I've had to date.



I couldn't think, I couldn't focus, it hurt. I remember my manager getting upset about something and I just started crying. It took my 45 minutes to realize my gram was not upstairs but downstairs, So I called downstairs and got her to pick me up.



I got home.. took my imatrex, and passed out til 3pm.. God that sucked so much.



Now I'm just a little loopy, but I want cuddles, and to just curl up on someone.



....Why is this week so bad?



It makes me dread the hurricane coming up the coast.

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vladstick
23:00 Aug 26 2011

Belive it or not, it may be the pressure gradient of the hurricane that triggered the migraine. I get them say 12-24 hrs before a big storm or frontal system comes through. JFYI.



ciao,

vladstick

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So, I can manipulate energy. Always been able to do it, some laugh, and a lot of "normal" people never really believed me, but I can. It's really odd to cause I can also feel different things.



Like, I can do a bunch of stuff. I've been able to predict things. Usually I can sit in a room of people, and after talking to them for a bit.. I can tell things like "these people will break up, this person will get together with that one, these people will be good friends..."

I can play with the energy in a room... I use it to make myself feel better, but I can also manipulate it to try and improve the mood of the whole room. I'll take the energy and.. sorta assign it colors, and I'll stream the colors around the room, the happier they look the better the mood can get. It's not major, it's just a subtle thing. one person who was killing the mood for everyone will suddenly leave, or someone who felt bad gets a little better... It's weird...I can do a lot of stuff with this...



So, here's my issue. I've been feeling...something ... coming. Something big. My entire life I felt it. When I was little it wasn't really major, easily brushed off, I was a kid and it didn't affect me. As I got older the energy sorta started pulsing in and out. It would go away, and come back, go away, come back.. and every time it came back it was that little bit stronger.

I'm almost 27 now and it's like a pulse beacon. Something is ALMOST here, something big, something very important....and I haven't the faintest idea WHAT!!!!



It's really driving me buggy. I have other friends who can do different kinds of predictions, and they say they don't feel anything coming, or that major...



So, I wanna know if anyone else can feel ..well.. anythign big and major approaching.. or if it's just me.. and if it's jsut me.. why just me? or am I just crazy.



buuuuh. Answers.... want!

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Oceanne
12:28 Aug 26 2011

You arent the only one.



Tick,tock...

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I hate today. It started off ok, but it's horrible right now.



I try my very best to be nice at work, I modify my tone, I'm polite, I don't swear(which is hard cause I'm part truck driver some days), and I actually have a genuine smile which most people don't at my work. When I smile, customers smile back in a good way, cause I mean the part when I say "have a nice day".



So I don't get it why the people I work with can be so friggin mean to me. It's like "what the hell, I didn't do anything to you".



The first person to be nasty at me today was one of the girls who happened to be on the front counter register. I was ordering my lunch on break, and she said to me "I don't think I want to get your food" and wasted 10 minutes of my 30 minute break. it was like "What....?"



Next, near the end of the day, the one manager who seems to hate the fact i exist comes in. He immediately starts in on me and calling me fat or insulting me.



I mean.. Let me put it in this perspective... You know how some people are so homophobic they're downright cruel in what they say? Well, he's EXACTLY like that, except replace the gay hating for Fat-hating. If you're not a size 2, and happen to have some curves... He'll insult you like there's no tomorrow. and he's the kind who won't do it to your face. he'll talk to other people about you, but he'll talk just loud enough so you can hear him.



So, he did that today. Then, 5 minutes before I need to be cashed off my register, he leaves the building and vanishes on the other manager. This means she can't cash me out cause she has to take care of drive thru til he gets back.. So, 5 minutes after I should have been gone, I finally get cashed out, I deposit my money in the safe, and get to go home.



I hate my job. I can't quit, I need the money so I can save up, get a car, and hopefully find the kind of job I went to college for. But this is just painful.



I'm so tired of all this. I really am, just drop dead bone tired. Almost makes me wish I WAS dead....almost -.-;

Crapcrapcrap CRAP!. The energy roller coaster thing is starting again. it's too damn early for this shit, and I mean that. It used to be that in the winter time I'd feel tired and bleh for a few weeks, not a big deal. You'd think it'd just be "oh it's winter you feel like crap cause there's snow everywhere". Then it turned into ALL winter, and it was understandable... Then it started going into the fall.



It's friggin summer and I feel like a bucket with a hole in it!!!!! I can't keep any energy at all. I'm tired as hell, I don't wanna move, and I jsut feel like either I've got a hole somewhere and I'm losing massive amounts of energy that I can't fully fill back up before it drains again.. or i'm being leeched. Whatever the case may be, roller coaster season for my energy has started early and I'm totally screwed. At this rate it'll just happen all year long and I won't be able to do anything.





I hope to hell that the dream guy shows up, like asap. He shows up in my dreams when the roller coaster gets bad and he doesn't really...stop the roller coaster he just makes it less bumpy. He keeps the worst of it from affecting me... But so far he's only a dream, and he doesn't fully help make this stop. I wish he was real cause this is just insane.





:proceeds to hide in room and not come out in the hopes that the sanctuary will at least help stop the drain to some extent:

So tonight will be the first night that I start sleeping alone again. My ex is moving out. It's not a bad break up, it's just a mutual agreement that we don't mix well. We broke up on monday, and he's leaving today. So, tonight is going to be a lonely night. buuuuh.

Not only is he leaving but my computer, which i am more than a little attached to, is also gone for repairs.... My room feels friggin empty and lonely.



So, it's back to reading the sanguinomicon and hiding in that for a while.

So, I finally managed to borrow the book from rayne. Lol. She's waiting ever so patiently for me to give it back, but she also wants someone to talk to about the book. SO!!, now I'm reading it and having one of those epiphany type moments. It's like I want to smack my head on the desk for not finding this sooner. I've pretty much known most, if not all, of this since... well, since I was a kid.



In other news. My computer's OS shat itself to death, so it's getting fixed, and I'm borrowing a laptop until then. It's also why rayne let me borrow the book. She was going to let me borrow it when she was fully done reading it, but I have absolutely nothing else to do at the moment. So, she let me borrow the book for a day or two and now I'm completely enjoying it and wishing I known of this a hell of a lot sooner. Probably would have made it so I didn't feel like an outcast for the last 8 years.

Back from 8 1/2 hours of work, and 20 minutes in the blazing hot sun with no breeze on the way home. I feel burnt. and my feet feel like compacted lead bricks. but other than that, yay home. Now to explore, rummage my messages, and try not to get distracted by playing Terraria, rofl.



ugh, where's someone to massage my legs and feet when i need em.

Not much to say at the moment, just rummaging around the site and figuring it out. Can't even do that for long since I have work in the morning...7:30 am... buh.. not the most fun time to work, but early morning in my job is the best time of day cause it's almost silent...people-wise. There's just the few employees in the morning who are doing prep for the day, so I don't have to worry about a million pushy people... just one... and that's usually the manager on shift. lol. Ok of to bed with me. hopefully I'll have nice dreams.

COMMENTS

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Darkblue
05:08 Aug 18 2011

Welcome to the Rave.

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