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2024. I am not sure how I feel about this year so far. It's almost April and I am doing my best to be a better version of myself.

Things have been a bit of a roller coaster for me. I am still working and pushing my body way past its limit. I am still working on my personal projects. I think I finally found inner peace. I have accepted myself and did my best to let go of my past trauma.

There are still days when I wake up feeling angry and lost. I'm not sure how to cope with that. I am ready for karma to come back around for those who tried to destroy my entire existence. I still want revenge but it's not worth the risk of staining my karma.

There is still a lonely ache that echos deep within my heart. I spent a couple of years now ignoring it. I decided it was time to step out of that abyss. There are still days I find myself struggling with my inner demons or social interactions.

A couple of months ago I let my anger and depression take hold. I created two new scars. The first one was by accident. The second one was on purpose. I was hoping it would have made me feel better but it didn't. I now have a scar on one hand and another scar on the other wrist. For a couple of months I was lost in complete darkness. The person I hate the most on this world decided to find other ways of hurting me when I rejected him for the million time. It sent me to a dark place.

I am doing better today. My body is doing it best to heal since I am working too much against Dr orders and not resting or eating much. My mental health is better now. I can honestly say I can finally look at myself in the mirror. I've been trying to step into new things and have finally tried to live my life outside of survival only mode. The past few months I have really learned a lot about myself. I am still a work in progress but I am trying. Maybe one day, things will be different and I'll wake up on top of the world. Until then just know I am taking much better care of myself on most days. I am doing my best to live my life to where I can experience happiness. I am still growing as a person. This year I will solely focus on myself and keep myself away from toxic fuckers who want to hurt me in some way shape or form.