im breackin in 1000 pieces...i cant stand any more,not even one day...this excruciating pain has eaten up all of my str8...im listenin2lara fabian,je t'aime,and i realise that my luv has got so strong while i got so weak..i allmost cant carry myself around,im so lost in all of my pain..what hurts the most?the fact that i had u and i made such a fool of myself by chasin ya away?the fact that i feel how i can have u no more?..the cold way that u just pass by me nowadays?...i have become nobody,the nobody that i diserve2be...i do know i diserve all of this..as im breakin down i'd take one last look into ur eyes..i'd like that2be my last image of this cruel and cold world...i cannot take anymore,god help me..
2day i hate u,because i have never luvd ya more...from this day on,i shall kill the last feeling inside,cause u wish me2..then,none shall be any more..is it worth,all this pain?i wonder if ur happy like this...i wonder why is it that u so desperalty want the pain2go on?urs and mine...but ur wish is my desire,as u became the master of the lil sparcle that was left of me..u desire it2be no more,it shall be no more,i shall be no more..this is my last day..i only hope that'll have the strengh2endure it...tha last one of my torments...the last one of me...
pain it is...pain when u look,pain when u dont,pain when u are,pain when u are not...this constant flame that tortures my soul..ur eyes burn my soul as u stear,ur absence takes away my sanity...and as i close my eyes u are allmost by my side,as i hurt myself time and time again i can allmost feel ur pain..silence,that is what i said i desire...silence,that is what takes my last breath..might i complain when it is i who wanted all of this?might i crowl2ur feet and beg4it2stop?might i bleed in order2convince u that my pain is eating me alive?day after day,night after night..i feel no more time passing by,i feel no more other needs,i know of no other dream...i am lost...
2day i sow...2day i felt...2day i died again..one might think that one can only die once,but u pruved me wrong..time and time again,u kill me and bring me back2my coma..i caress the life out of me,then u stear it back...u ignore the worst of me as u ignore my pain,u c though all of my torment..days in row of torture,2c ya eyes get empty as my soul was..how can i do ya right,when i've always done wrong?i wanna do ya right,i need ya2be just fine or my life'd be porpousless again...
empty again...u try2fill the void as it drags u in..u cant breath,cant c,cant feel..now u r part of me,pointless,meaningless,lost...as i carry u round in my dark corner of fear,u tremble at the sight of my soul,for its rapture hollows u...u r mine,u r no more...
as i cut myself time and time again blood sorounds me...tears and blood mixed up,the best of me and the last of me embraced..the smile on your face tells it all..u died looking into my eyes..as the last breth left u frozen u glanced at me..the essence of ur soul resides in my eyes now that i am slowly departuring...the cold,empy shell shall be left and forgotten,the lame excuse of a life shall be over soon..but as i twich the last time i c how i shall be alone in the dark,stumblin on memories and past feelings,on past life..and it shall be even worse..with my last dropp of power i get up and crowl2the window,i hardly make it but i jump over..yes,now i am alive..allmost no blood left in but my heart is pumping..yes,my dear,live,for u shall live no more...
a black point in that ocean of white...a white point in that ocean of black..selfish points that only exist2annoy us..just as we exist2annoy someone else..so i c,it all has such a clear meaning..life is not useless,not meaningless...it has such a clear pourpos:2annoy everyone around..might i make a difference?
"take a leap of faith in me..."
why would u think of urself as different?and if u were different,why would u think that ur different in a good way?what makes u think that u deserve2make an exception?
"try,just this once,pls try..."
why bother?
...
oh,how well i can c u now..the empty shell that u r,a drifting boat on the ocean of ruins..yes,2day i can c u so much better..u r not evil,u r not hurt,u r not full of hate..u r just meaningless..why should one take ur pittyful existence in consideration?oh,but nobody does,i 4got that..the best of it all is that when i look at u i can so clearly c myself..
:))
crushed2the wall...silent snake crowls within,twich and burn up..lies,lies,lies..the lie of wakin up in the morning,as if'd u realy be awake,as if a new shitty day'd begins..the lie of feeling..my personal favorite..the lie of love,the lie of friendship,the lie of life..no,the world is not cruel,no,it does not play with u and it does not hurt..ur doing all of that,cause just like us all,u were born2ruin...urself,the ones that r near u,cause u will distroy them first as they r closer..one by one,we shall make right the wrongs of the world,4one by one we shall perrish..void,silence..
i close my eyes...can u guess what appears in front of me?can u feel me shiverrr...?do u feel me at all?time will make it all good again,my usual smile comes out every time one gets2close.no one is allowed2look inside,no one is allowed2know...broken bits of a soul can allmost seem2be one if u want it bad enough.u might even get2think that its all ok now,that things will improve.yeah..sure they will,when u shall be no more.i wonder whats the worst out of it all...that i know i do not live?that i know i cannot be?that i lie and lie,time and time again just2cover it up?i know,it was all wrong,a huge mistake from the very beginin.it is terribly wrong2give away what one needs..sure,i thought im doin the best thing when i killed myself just2make u live..i did not think about it twice,it came allmost naturally.u had2live,that i knew...why?cause it was the only way that i could endure the thought of livin..and ur every breath takes away one more bit of me,as the fact that u live makes me die a little more but if u wouldnt live any more i fear i shall vanish..i need all the pain that u r,i enjoy every drop of ur poison.what is there2be done when things are no longer in ur power?what is there2be done when u need pain in order2be powerfull?i hurt myself time and time again cause its the only thing that keeps my strengh up..if pain shall no longer be,i will have nothing2react2...then i shall be no more..
When pain can't bless, heaven quits us in despair.
Author: Edward Young
Pain is no evil unless it conquers us.
Author: George Eliot
The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain.
Author: Karl Marx
Sweet is true love that is given in vain, and sweet is death that takes away pain.
Author: Lord Alfred Tennyson
Nothing begins, and nothing ends, That is not paid with moan; For we are born in others pain And perish in our own.
Author: Francis Thompson
Never a lip is curved with pain That can't be kissed into smiles again.
Author: Bret Harte
Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
Author: Anonymous
The pain and hurt which i feel, go as deep as it is real; to be around and yet unseen, takes the water out of the steam.
Author: Jay T
Hell is more bearable than nothingness.
Author: Philip James Bailey
The heart of man is the place the devil dwells in; I feel sometimes a hell dwells within myself.
Author: Sir Thomas Browne
A man from hell is not afraid of hot ashes.
Author: Dorothy Gilman
Hell is oneself; Hell is alone, the other figures in it merely projections. There is nothing to escape from and nothing to escape to. One is always alone.
Author: George Eliot
For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
Author: Bible
It is necessary only for the good man to do nothing for evil to triumph.
Author: Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton, first Baron Lytton
What we call evil is simply ignorance bumping its head in the dark.
Author: Henry Ford
It is a sin to believe in the evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
Author: H. L. Mencken
I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
Author: Alexandre Dumas
Evil is done without effort, naturally, it is the working of fate; good is always the product of an art.
Author: Charles Baudelaire
They that know no evil will suspect none.
Author: Ben Jonson
There is hardly a man clever enough to recognize the full extent of the evil he does.
Author: Francois De La Rochefoucauld
Yesterday is gone forever
No turning back the clock
In the end, all is sinful
No need to bear the pain
The end, is coming soon
You can't hold out forever
Repent your sins to me
Before you pass this world
In this time I am law
I know you've been betrayed
From man's word, I'm given life
Through loss, I only gain
For you, I feel no sympathy
No sorrow, no remorse
Confess your sins to me
They'll be taken by force
It doesn't matter what you've done
In my words you are a sinner
For every word you say to me
In every way, you are a sinner
Question me not
I am the one that binds this world
You follow without sight
I grow stronger every day
Take the souls I have damned
Burn them in my name
These are the burning times
The years of pain
i feel thy smell on my skin...shiverrrrr,twist and turn,burn my eyes and im all torn...as light went by me i went by them all,as time flew thru me i've flown away.no song4this ride,no sound for the pain,no image4it all,just the everlasting shiverrrr...dark paths r said2be silent,darkness is told2be kind2those who deserve it...do we deserve silence?is this ice-cold shiverrr our warning or the embrace of it all?...
http://www.jurnalulraului.go.ro/index.html
for those of u who are romanian,its worth ya time.:)
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