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I've made online friends on VR and they enrich my life in their own way. Most of the Guys are cool, but Females are a hit or miss, but there are those that I feel confident that if I sent them a message like, "Hey Dork", I'm sure to get some type of crazy ass reply rather than hurt feelings that will crack me up .......Chococat, FeverDreams, LZAPERVERT, Nekirena, XbluesandX, xXxPaynexXx, TLDG, and tr1n1ty01....I've never met these ladies, but they are part of the Cool Kids Club and VR Famous...LOL!
I'm sure there are others, but I just can't keep track of whose who anymore on VR. So many people creating multiple profiles that I've just stopped trying. I'm like 98% sure if you mentioned someone's real name, I can't tell you which profile is theirs. LMAO!
This post is for all those females who place guys in the Friend Zone just to use them to take pictures because they fill taking selfies is a bit narcissistic.
Call me cheesy, a dork, or corny, but I LOVE friends who don't get offended when I tease and roast them for laughs. The type that cracks up and come back with something even worse to tease and roast me about. LMAO!!!
It takes the type of individual that has a High Self-esteem, a Major Funny Bone and is Quick Witted.
When I or they say something that unintentionally hit a nerve, but knowing what was said was all in jest, I or they just laugh it off and say, "Ok, you got me that time or You won that round or Yo'Mama or Fuck You!"...........Priceless!!!
I grew up playing the Dozen, or Cracking, or Roasting, or Slamming or Dissing or whatever. It was either you play and make a lot of friends who then Liked and Respected you or you were just considered "one of those types". I think they referred to them as Anti-Social or Emo or some other derogatory term. Perhaps that form of humor just wasn't their thing, but I was never bothered by the ones that got offended. I just learned who matched my Personality and who didn't.
Honestly, that's how life is. Some will be compatible with your style and others won't. They are not necessarily unfriendly people, just maybe extra sensitive or lack that type of sense of humor. Eh!
It's almost 7 am (PST). The only two reasons I'm awake during Daylight Hours is because I have to let Bandit in and out and I refuse to have a doggie door installed since I don't want other smaller critters getting into my home.
I hear many garage doors opening and people driving off heading back to work or school or wherever after the Holiday.
I think to myself, I'm truly blessed to be RETIRED! I do not miss those early morning commutes and all the stress that goes along with being in the Matrix.
My life may not be perfect (whose is?), but it is full of Serenity, Happiness, Love, Sex & Magick......Sex? Well, more like self-pleasuring....The Struggle Is Real and so are attractive females walking around looking sexy, but have whole STD(s) to share. ijs
When she already knew you were a Perv, but still has sex with you. However, she didn't expect you to come to bed fully dressed in the Black Panther Cosplay Costume.
When a guy encounters that one chick that takes it to the next level when #MeToo didn't change his behavior and she believes her actions needs to speak louder than her words.
This post is for all the guys who don't really believe some of the crazy shit they post, but it's still hella funny....If you have a perverted or twisted sense of humor.....lol
You are a Stay-At-Home Husband. You spend all day marking things of your 'Things-To-Do list and you're tired, but when your wife gets home from her job, you are still expected to show her some romance.
Stay-At-Home Husbands.....They are never off the clock.
Drayton is more like my usual reaction. I've seen too many cocks in my lifetime lol.
17:19 May 27 2018 Times Read: 1,316
I don't have nightmares, but this was close enough.
I had a dream where this chick had on a crop top and when she raised her arms, all I saw was armpit hairs.
Now, if you're female and you love your below-the-eyes- body hair, hey do you boo boo. Do you.
However, some of you chicks just try to go too far with your 'natural' look.
This post is for all the people who are personally bothered by other people showing as much of THEIR body that they want to online.
I mean really, it's 2018, who is still bothered by an adult sharing their nudes with other adults? It's THEIR fucking body.
People kill me with that. They want to CONTROL everyone and police the internet all by themselves when the focus should be on their own lives. If someone is not physically harming another....Live and let Live. Your so-called "Morals" or "Religious Beliefs" more than likely isn't theirs nor the people who don't give a fuck.
If some female wants to legally show her body, hell....I'll look.
If someone is posting lies and you have "facts" to prove them wrong, feel free to call them on their shit.
But, attempting to judge someone else based on your own personal beliefs or feelings and they are not breaking any laws or physically harming anyone.......Yeah, ummm.....Maybe take up a hobby and log off the internet for awhile.
"And if I hear another bitch try to tell me how she is different
Like, "I never get around"
But her pussy I fit my fist in
Insisting that I'm so jealous
I'm jealous of who?
Your screws are loose for you to think I'm jealous of you
You're lame and never made anything but balls turn blue
Tellin' the truth
And when offended, then I'm talkin' 'bout you
And I'm talkin' 'bout you
Stupid ass bitch
Fuck you, you, you and you"
"So why did you send your daughter to college here in the first place?
You pay 20k and your daughter became a sperm bank
Was fuckin' five guys on the first day
She learned how to suck a dick and still hasn't experienced her first A (damn)
She's lookin' up from her knees
She knows about whiskey neat, double D's and the trees
She's gettin' high because the last guy, he left her with ease
Asking him, "Please don't leave, you said you loved me"
On Tinder swiping right like which bitch go'n fuck me?
You know that I'm the man, five grams of protein and some money
And girls are saying they love me
And guys are wishing they was me
I'm offering nothing more than a washboard on my tummy
It's funny"
So I told her, don't think you're going to show up to my house with a bottle of baby oil, a branding iron, a ball gag, some hand cuffs and a bag of tootsie rolls. LOL!
So you're trying to tell me that you as a single Heterosexual guy are hanging around two females...Neither of them is family and one of them you are calling your BFF and nothing sexual is going on?
I'm raising the BS flag on this one.
Either you're fucking one or both, have fucked one or both in the past or waiting around until one or both offers it up to you. LOL!
Dude, I had been there done that once with this one guy I dated and swore NEVER EVER AGAIN. Weirdest feeling of my life and his face made me want to hurl, especially when he tried to kiss me. Oh dude, my stomach turned. Yeah, that is beyond 50 shades of wrong.
19:18 May 16 2018 Times Read: 1,513
There is only one type of man LZAPERVERT cares for....They even made a song about him.
So I'm reading comments on the IG and females be going in calling other females Hoes, Bitches, Prostitutes, Sluts, and all sorts of terms that I supposed should be taken as sexually derogatory comments. Because Sex or Sexual Content for Money and Attention is soooo bad right? I mean it right up there with school shootings right? Fuck Out Of Here With That Bull-Shit!
Ummmm.....It's 2018. Modesty & Prudishness is Dead!
Women are webcaming, sexting, directing, recording and publishing their own Home-made Adult Videos, advertising links to their own Adult Websites, becoming Slutwalk activists, protesting to walk in public topless, showing more skin, more cleavage, hell their entire breast (minus the nipple #FREETHENIPPLE), showing their pierced nipples imprint, camel toe, ass with and without the ass-floss and naked with all the good parts blurred out or covered up (sometimes not too well)...... and for FREE or just ATTENTION!
A woman calling another woman something sexually-derogatory because she's in control of her own sexuality and fucks whomever she chooses to while not hurting anyone (if your Man cheated with her, that's on Him...not Her, she's just getting it on with whoever is down) and doesn't give a fuck who says what...... is fucking AWESOME!!!!!
I suppose that would produce a lot of Haters. THEY DON'T CARE & NEITHER DO I.....LOL!
@ 1:27 and that's where it comes from....People always wondering if your post was about them....They need to just smoke one joint and chill the fuck out...ijs
So I said, 'Oh...You want me to give your selfie a 'like' huh?...I don't give my likes out all willy nilly. You have to earn that shit. Show some camel toe, pinch your nipples, feed the perv in me...something...Dayum!!! I mean, 'likes' don't grow on trees you know. They are finite to be given out sparingly.
So I medicated while taking a Sauna Treatment by way of a Solo Sesh consuming some Sativa Wax.
When I finally made it back to my bed and getting ready to medicate some more, I realized after I had gotten all comfortable, that I had left my Sativa Wax near the Sauna.
Eh, Oh well, Indica Sauce it is. I suppose I'll be in a "Canna-Coma" soon. ^_-
It seems it's catchy to say, "Cheers", prior to taking a rip from a Bong or Dab Rig when recording yourself.
I choose not to be "normal"....I think I'll say, "To The Box".
I'll say it like the Original Batman played by Adam West when he would say, "To The Batcave". LOL!
So what do I mean when I say, "To The Box"?....Well, maybe I mean the Lemarchand's Box, maybe I don't.... Wink, Wink...
That feeling when you have a day off from work
That feeling when you realize there is no school today
That feeling when you know tomorrow is another day off
That feeling when you're on paid time off
That feeling when you've just started your vacation
Every day is a weekend, holiday, vacation all rolled up into...well...Every day
That's RETIREMENT! ^_^
@ xTheCrookedCrossx...No offense taken. LOL!
@ xXxPaynexXx...MOGY doesn't get his ass Spanked.....He does the Spanking.....LOL!
@ dale0302...LMAO!
@ Liliancat...Sis, she started it. Wait, maybe I did, but let's just say she did. LOL!
Have you ever been high, got horny, started watching a porn video and began to self-pleasure yourself and then get a YouTube notification pop-up pertaining to a new video having been uploaded by someone you're subscribed to so you click over to watch the video while absentmindedly still pleasuring yourself, then once that video ends, you realize what you're doing, but can't remember why? Then it dawns on you that you were watching an adult video so you click back to it and carry on without missing a beat.
A Mother of a 21-year-old daughter decides to visit a new Massage business she had overheard her daughter talking to one of her friends about.
However, when she gets there, she is asked to get completely naked.
Thinking this must be some new wave thing and not wanting to seem like a prude, she does.
To her surprise, one thing leads to another and she is given a 'Happy Ending'. She was very embarrassed.
She was even more surprised when they paid her.
She told them that this was the weirdest Massage Parlor she'd ever been to. Who goes for a massage and leaves having been creampied?
The staff looks around at each other and then one person spoke up informing the lady that it was a Porn Set.
Ladies, if you're taking the Plan-B Pill every morning like a daily supplement, I don't know whether to fist bump you or submit your name to the Institute of Human Sexual Behavior to be a case study. LOL!
Guys, if a female tries to convince you that having sex with her is mainly for your pleasure and how honored you should be to "get some"....Run!!! You don't need that type of negativity in your life.
Ok, but run after you've had sex with her though. LMAO!
After medicating, Lady Death (LD) and I have a chit-chat.
LD: I see you switched from Opioids to Cannabis for Pain Management.
ME: Yup!
LD: So it looks like I won't see you as soon as I had anticipated.
ME: I hope not, but can you do me a favor?
LD: A favor? From Death? (The balls on this guy) *sighs* What is it?
ME: Send Nudes! LMAO!
COMMENTS
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LZAPERVERT
18:41 May 31 2018
LMAO. I love the pic dude. It looks like Rumple on a bad day LMAO. Hey Rumple, Mogy found your angry Uncle *giggle snort*
LORDMOGY
18:42 May 31 2018
LOL!