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Its been awhile to all who've added my journal... if you remember my old time messages I mentioned my grandfather I think.



Well in 2 days will be his 14th Anniversary of being gone. Its been so long since I tried for someone I remember was important to me. I've been forgetful and not wanting to remember, but the one person who gets me to open my eyes this year is my grandfather.....



I wonder, is this a sign? could he be telling me to let go of the past and remember everyone on their days? or to remember that he's always watching with everyone else and supporting me behind those clouds of theirs?



I miss his wisdom and his laugh and warming smile, I even miss him singing me to sleep when I was a kid..... and yet I can't remember his detailed face, only his eyes which I have..... time to time I smell his cologne or hear him saying its 'its ok, everything is alright, go back to sleep'.



When I need him the most to show me what to do..... Grandpa, are you reading this? can you hear me? please tell me what to do, I can't protect this family and I'm falling apart.