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In May of 2006 I was a mere 13 years old, my high school freshman status was coming to an end and I was ready for summer. I was the youngest child born to my parents, only having one older sibling which is my brother, he brought me up to love all things rock/metal/industrial/alternative and like the musical guru I looked up to him as he always brought my attention to new bands that were on the rise. One day in mid May I was laying on my bed reading when my older brother threw a sealed CD at me before saying "I think you'll like this, give it a listen and tell me what you think" I nodded before picking the CD up and examining it closely; "Silent Civilian" I muttered to myself as I began to peel away the sealed packaging before placing the CD in my stereo system and pressing play. The first song that began to rumble through my speakers was a song named "A Call to arms", it had no lyrics and was purely musical and it was beautiful, however it did not prepare me for the next song that blasted out of my speakers which was named "Funeral". Instantly the drumming caught my attention and from that moment on I was hooked, I listened to the entire album on repeat for hours; upon my brother's arrival home I shared my thoughts with him on the album and he patted me on the head before leaving my room. This CD became my summer soundtrack and I listened to it religiously until it mysteriously came up missing after I let a friend of my brother's borrow it for a party. In the short time I was in possession of the CD I submerged myself in their music, but mainly their drummer's ability and talent. In the months that followed I heard no news about the band or a tour so they kind of fell off the map for me, even though I was still a big fan. Fast forward to 2011, I was finally 18 years old and still exploring my musical taste; a year earlier A good friend of mine named Devon introduced me to a band called "Black Veil Brides" it was a 5 person group, 1 lead singer, 1 guy on bass/back up vocals, 2 male guitarists and 1 female drummer. They had released an album called "We Stitch these wounds" before their then drummer Sandra Alva departed from the band leaving them without a drummer. In 2011 the band released a new album called "Set the world on fire" to which I downloaded as soon as I came home from work that very night; and as I pressed play on the very first song called "New Religion" Almost instantly the drumming sounded familiar to me causing a rush of nostalgia "Why the fuck does this drumming sound so familiar?" I asked myself as I clicked through each song. It wasn't until I looked up a recent photo of the band that I recognized the new drummer, it was none other than the amazing drummer named Chris Mora who was the drummer of Silent Civilian. After seeing the picture and listening to the drumming I couldn't help but to smile, the man I once idolized as the percussive force of Silent Civilian was now a part of another band that had deeply impacted me in a similar way as Silent Civilian once did. My undeniable attraction to him evolved even more and it set me on a never ending evolution of emotions. The 13 year old me might have said something along the lines of "Holy fuck you're hot" or "Your drumming is fucking kick ass" but now as a 23 year old I honestly just want to know him as a person and to thank him for the years of wonderful music. At 13 I hardly understood my attraction to a man I had never met, I didn't know why his drums made my heart beat faster, I was unaware of the reason behind the feelings his smile gave me because it was so irrational to me; how can a person whom you have never met have such an impact on you? how do you even begin to rationalize your yearning for someone who doesn't even know you exist? When he joined forces with Black Veil Brides when I was 18 I was better equipped to analyze my emotions and feelings for this mysterious man who had sparked so many fires inside me as a young teenager. His talent had evolved in new ways that still to this day amaze me and give me the same shivers they did 10 years ago. His bright smile still causes me to feel the same butterflies I once felt as a young teenager when I would watch Silent Civilian's video for Rebirth of the Temple. I know how irrational this attraction is and I know nothing will ever come of it but I can't help but to feel deeply for this genuinely talented individual. I'm unsure of what will come of this odd attraction (if anything at all) all I know is that the fire he once sparked with his drumming and genuine personality still rages within me with no end in sight, I hope that one day I get to shake the hand of the man who helped me get into the heavier forbiddens of music and to tell him how much I appreciate him and his talent.