sometimes i feel like i’m a lion, circling my dinner.. i don’t want the fast ones.. they take up too much energy to catch.. same with the big ones.. they are tough..
the young ones might be ok, but probably wont be a good enough meal for me, which means i’d have to eat two or three of them.
so i go for the slower ones.. the weaker ones.. the ones that i know that i can catch.
the problem here is.. i’m not a lion.. i’m a person. so why am i chasing the weaker prey?
"if you fish in a toxic pond, you’ll get toxic fish"
the pond has alot of unstable fish. some of them don’t have a place to stay. some of them go from place to place. some of them can’t keep a job.
some of them just don’t know what they want in life.
i used to think that by taking in these fish that i was helping them... i think now that maybe i was hindering their progress.. if any progress were to be had. some fish just want to stay unstable.
maybe i’d take them in because it was easy.. they obviously need me... to some extent.. and i have power, but not really.
maybe... i’m the unstable one. i used to be a few years ago, but wait.. don’t i have a nice job, and a nice place to live? aren’t i getting 2 out of the 3 things i want in life right now at this age? i’m not 50 and making it.. i’m half that.
so what am i doing? where am i going in all of this?
i think that, somehow, i entered the pond with all the other fish.. and it’s driving me crazy.
is there another pond that i can fish from? and is there a better way to catch them without fishing?
this entry started with lions and ended with fish, but no matter what animal i’m after, i just want a stable one.
Silky smooth blood
Gliding through my lips
Innocent victim
Embracing life's last kiss
He holds onto me
With all his might
Not knowing his ardor
Gives me my greatest delight
He leans into my arms
I've aleady won the race
He goes lovingly, willingly
Into Death's sweet embrace
It's done, he's gone
A dead body, just a shell
Once again it's over
And I am in hell
I go see him
The prince to my princess
He holds me tight
And returns my bloody kisses
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