Joli's Vampire Journal

Joli's Journal

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11 entries this month

← May 2008

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PRIVATE ENTRY
20:47 Jun 29 2008
Times Read: 963

• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

Someone for everyone
19:30 Jun 29 2008
Times Read: 980

I need a man like this.

Vampire Rave - The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory - http://www/VampireRave.com

This is an xkcd comic. Check them out at:

xkcd

COMMENTS

deathnitegrl
19:34 Jun 29 2008

LOL

CTyler
20:09 Jun 29 2008

mmMMmm.. Fruitcake.. purrrr....

Joli
20:20 Jun 29 2008

You are one random bastard, Tyler...try on the black hat!

carsho
20:29 Jun 29 2008

Sigh, too used to reading manga, keep reading comics backwards now :P

CTyler
22:29 Jun 29 2008

Carsho, I know of that problem. I'm plowing through loads of Mugen-no-Jūnin.

And, Joli, I've always wanted a black hat.

Furthermore, I also want a pipe. And a Nietzschean mustache.

Hell, I guess I just want to look like Jack the Ripper.

Kinda clashes with the tattoos, but hey, nobody's perfect. Least of all The Ripper.

Do I have your appoval on the mustache, atleast?

Beastt17
02:33 Jun 30 2008

In a country where we fill our garages with junk and leave a $30,000 car in the driveway, where else should land-mines be stored?

Gale... Lacan... *Sigh*

17:34 Jun 27 2008
Times Read: 1,042

When the sun shines on decisions that I made in the dark, I often wonder, "Was that insecurity there all along?"

COMMENTS

Where's your freaking mom?!
00:36 Jun 22 2008
Times Read: 1,159

I am stunned. What kind of methed up choice was this? If I were an Angel of Mercy, I wouldn't just focus on life support systems in hospitals...that's easy stuff. I'd be in the world, looking for dumbass choices like this. Did she choose this? Design this? Does she really think this is great? I'm reviewing our friendship clause, Irony. Linking things like this probably nullifies it. I rue the day I ever clicked on this. I cried a single tear. Per se.

oh.my.god

P.S. I just rued again.

COMMENTS

Ockham
00:42 Jun 22 2008

Maybe it's meant to be the genie from I Dream Of Genie. You rub her ass, and the butt-woman comes out from the smoke and grants you a wish.

Ockham
00:42 Jun 22 2008

My first wish?

"I wish I'd never seen that." :(

Irony
00:43 Jun 22 2008

Noesss! I rue the day I ever showed you that all seeing ass. I wonder if it would look better or worse with a single tear. An emo ass... ok, I am stopping that train of thought before my mental filters give up and go home.

Joli
00:45 Jun 22 2008

::rue::

Joli
00:50 Jun 22 2008

I would like to point out that

"Please don't hate me... I found a worse one...kittah ass" does NOT make this better, Irony.

y u h8

Irony
00:54 Jun 22 2008

I can't stop looking at it. It is like a bus crash. My mind keeps wandering to the bare ass part making up the horrible kittah emote cheeks :3

I hate myself now:( Select your pistol...

BLOODLIFE
01:12 Jun 22 2008

I was just wondering about the whiskers.

Irony
01:16 Jun 22 2008

Well, if she ever starts to develop hirsutism, she will be well in. She can just claim realistic fur effect.

Damn, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Jo may strangle me for the direction these comments are taking:P

Ockham
02:25 Jun 22 2008

I just realized you used "methed" instead of "messed", and I think that might be the best verb ever. May I steal that one for the next time some idiot messages me, Jo? :)

carsho
02:57 Jun 22 2008

What about this Joli?

KCRC
04:09 Jun 22 2008

MY EYES! MY EYES!

birra
05:19 Jun 22 2008

Gives a whole new definition to "tramp stamp," doesn't it?

Irony
05:21 Jun 22 2008

Carsho, you are so going to hell for that one. Now I am going to have nightmares:(

Joli
05:22 Jun 22 2008

wakka wakka *hork*

Beastt17
08:36 Jun 22 2008

I'll never think of the phrase "wipe your nose", the same way again.

Beastt17
13:33 Jun 22 2008

It just dawned on me that these people are going to get old, and...

and...

(Oh God!)

...and wrinkled!

I may never sleep again.

STABB666
22:32 Jun 22 2008

You'd have thought that the tattooist would have said "Hang on love, this isn't going to look good..."

Joli
22:55 Jun 22 2008

and for the record, in case I was less than clear, I hate you carsho :(

Silverbow
06:20 Jun 23 2008

Omg.. I can't stop laughing, you all are killing me..

Dragonrouge
02:30 Jun 27 2008

Oh, those are KC`s eyes!

I could swear he don`t do this kind of art on his body!

:P

ThothLestat
03:38 Jun 28 2008

wow!

i find it distracting when someone's staring at me like that. Just sayin'

PRIVATE ENTRY
00:38 Jun 21 2008
Times Read: 1,193

• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

Fun With VooDoo
22:52 Jun 20 2008
Times Read: 1,210

I've noticed that some of you seem to have some pent-up agression. I give you a tool to work it out. Add the person's name that you want most to have mauled by marauding chickens. You will be able to do some online voodoo. I am partial to staplegun and car tire. For example, let's say you have a nemesis named...Brad

Virtual Voodoo

I wish I could offer you death by nipple, birra...but, alas. (It would be too good for Brad anyway, wouldn't it?) Maybe we could ask for "Death by Stinky Fred"

COMMENTS

Vampirewitch39
01:09 Jun 21 2008

lol :) NIPPLES!

ThothLestat
16:25 Jun 21 2008

weird.... i read that as "masturbating chickens", which is somehow a million times more disturbing.

I really need to stop drinking so much coffee.

*KACK*

Dragonrouge
02:24 Jun 27 2008

I guess it`s the only way to kill birra

in all the other cases birra will kill you!

What I Should Also Have Said
21:34 Jun 12 2008
Times Read: 1,305

I wrote a few days ago about an individual I no longer understand. I was clear about my feelings there. As I reflected on my decision to do that, wondering if I should have or if I should have just pretended that all was well, I realized that I did leave something important out. I can never hate him; I just don't know or understand him today.

I have not forgotten the sacrifice and giving toward people who are hurting. He went out of his way to give to the homeless who were living under a bridge. I handed out the gloves and warm pants that he and his children sent. I know personally that his actions made an immediate difference in people's lives. I didn't state that and I should have.

Just because doors sometimes need to close does not mean that the person on the other side is 100% bad. They just may not be able to be a part of your life anymore. I'm glad that I knew him then...disappointed for the rest, but grateful that I have an amazing memory of him, too. And that brings me peace.

COMMENTS

PRIVATE ENTRY
00:14 Jun 10 2008
Times Read: 1,548

• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

This story brought to you by the bugs of my backyard
07:48 Jun 09 2008
Times Read: 1,579

Yeah, I'm looking good. I'm wearing my shiny red and they can't keep their eyes off me.

He swept me off my feet, and that kiss...to die for.

I keep thinking, "How did it go so wrong so fast? Chewed up and crippled. Wish I'd checked out the crowd; I'd have worn my camis."

Moral: If you're going to live among carnivorous insects, notice that the walking stick usually makes it home. If you must wear the red dress, carry your own stick, preferably one with live current.

COMMENTS

Rictus
16:48 Jun 09 2008

So umm, the first bug gotted et...right?

LadyChordewa
18:07 Jun 09 2008

Awesome photography!!!!

meeper
00:28 Jun 10 2008

Your bugs scare me :P

Oceanne
01:00 Jun 10 2008

Great story,beautiful bugs.

Morrigon
01:35 Jun 10 2008

mmm yummy

CTyler
08:17 Jun 14 2008

Some bugs are just plain nasty and fantastic at the same time.

Dragonflies are one of them. And the Praying Mantis.

Both so incredibly beautiful and perfect, yet they always chomp away at their still-living pray with such indiscriminate vigor.

Pass the Oreos, Please!
02:47 Jun 08 2008
Times Read: 1,689

I've identified a new problem with the British. I feel it is my duty to point these problems out where I see them. Today, Stabb was eating these. The obvious first issue is that he believes these to be biscuits.

Obviously, THESE are biscuits:

But that aside, look at the NAME of this yummy British treat...mmmmmmm... "DIGESTIVES!"

I know I love to be reminded of the digestive process when I reach for a handful of cookies (yes, it's a COOKIE.) What is going on in the British creative marketing departments that they would say, "The selling feature we would like to emphasize in this snack is that it can be broken down with saliva and pass through the colon."

I thought I'd help them with a few suggestions for future snacks:

Defecatibles

Halitosis Minties

Perspiration Refreshies

Droolies

Ear Waxies

COMMENTS

STABB666
03:06 Jun 08 2008

You're sooo mean!

Just because you can't say 'scone'!

Joli
03:10 Jun 08 2008

OK, buck-o...

If you want to say it "scahn," might I suggest that you remove the silent "e" that we all learned in Elementary School made the first vowel LONG. With the silent "e," obviously the word is scone, rhyming with cone. Or do you eat ice cream cahns, too? :P

birra
03:25 Jun 08 2008

Scahhhn? Cahhhhn?

My god! Stabb is actually from Boston???

10241024
03:31 Jun 08 2008

I actually laughed out loud when I read this.

STABB666
03:37 Jun 08 2008

No no no...

It's "Skon'.

I'm from Scotland, you see. I pronounce it properly, like a normal person.

TheHellequin
06:16 Jun 08 2008

This from a country that calls its biscuits "grahams"

The digestive biscuit isn't just British though - it's Scottish too - and I second Stabb's correct pronunciation of scone lol

Sinora
08:14 Jun 08 2008

How very dare you > lol

Beastt17
08:47 Jun 08 2008

So... I have to wonder, what are the names of laxative products over there?

WAIT!

Don't answer. I so totally don't want to know!

Ockham
10:39 Jun 08 2008

I think we (the US) should just annex them (the UK) and declare it illegal to pronounce anything "-one" as "-ahn." Then, we use specially engineered death bees to police them. They say "skahn," a swarm of bees stings them and everyone they've ever loved to death. The bees will be everywhere, and hear everything. There will be no man, woman or child spared from their wrath.

Except Irony. Irony is excluded from this, but only because I love her even more than I love properly spoken English. The rest of the brits can adapt to proper English, or be bee bait. Buzz. Buzz.

Your stinging fate awaits.

Irony
10:53 Jun 08 2008

Hmm.. does this mean you pronounce 'gone' in a funny way? Remind me of this next time you are on skype:D *grins and ducks* I am going to make you say begone 10 times in a row now!

Ockham
10:55 Jun 08 2008

... Welp.

Hoist upon my own petard.

Can we annex you and unleash death bees anyways? I mean, really, DEATH BEES.

Irony
11:01 Jun 08 2008

Death bees are always acceptable:D

Your point? There is none

Counter arguments are gone

Argument is done

Ockham
11:07 Jun 08 2008

You have made a point,

Still, your nation is silly,

So yeah, suck on that.

:(

Irony
11:09 Jun 08 2008

Well... if you are going to be like that, I can do that too:)

You are a great big poopy head. So there:P

Ockham
11:10 Jun 08 2008

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! MAKE IRONY STOP SAYING MEAN THINGS TO ME!

Irony
11:12 Jun 08 2008

NOOOOOOOOOOO! He started it! *starts to cry*

Ockham
11:14 Jun 08 2008

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! SHE'S TOUCHING ME! GIRLS ARE GROSS! GET YOUR COOTIES AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Ockham
11:15 Jun 08 2008

I'm going to die of cooties :( :( :(

Irony
11:16 Jun 08 2008

Look at what your careless hands have wrought:P

Ockham
11:17 Jun 08 2008

Look into my brown, cootie-infested eyes. I long for death. :(

Irony
11:20 Jun 08 2008

I select the pistol, and then, select my Ockham.

Do you feel rue yet?

Ockham
11:21 Jun 08 2008

I rue the day I hit "Post Comment." I also rue the day I told you that I had done so, though coincidentally enough they were the same day. Even getting into this comment war with you was a hassle, though I don't know if I rued it per se.

P.S. - I just rued again.

Joli
21:02 Jun 08 2008

Can't I leave you two alone and expect you to behave? This is why we can't have nice things. No Digestives for you! And your ice cream cahn privileges are gahn, too.

I just rued.

Ockham
03:11 Jun 09 2008

But but but but SHE STARTED IT!

Nepal...wonder if they have them there.
07:41 Jun 03 2008
Times Read: 1,753

No, I'm NOT putting a black X on it to cover its decadence! I know it's tempting and makes you want to suck on it, but it's MINE! I am putting this lovely little lickable delight defiantly here.