Joli's Vampire Journal

Joli's Journal

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9 entries this month

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21:29 Feb 17 2011
Times Read: 765

Oh, Specific VR member who shalt remain unnamed,

I thank you most humbly for your abundant and special brand of crazy. We celebrate your ramblings and treasure each delightfully incoherent rambling with which you bless us. It has been a while, dear crazy person, since we have had such a wealth of quotable gemstones.

I want to compose an Ode to you. It would express my gratitude to the Swiss for their expert crafting of your brain matter. Not the watch makers...we don't want those guys to touch our girl! It's the geniuses in your dairy labs that we lift high today.

I want to polish your tin foil pyramid hat. It should shine for you like a billion suns!

I want to tune your radio to prime static reception...the kind that has both white noise and a tiny harmonic pitch, for you deserve the best.

I want to help you pin lots and lots and lots and lots of cut out newspaper clippings to the walls of your den so that you can be surrounded by inspiration at all times.

Welcome, oh beautiful gold mine of textbite nuggets. You have awed me. I am not worthy.

COMMENTS

atyourwindow
21:31 Feb 17 2011

sound's sarcastically sardonic to me, but i think i know whom you speak of lol

Selkie
21:32 Feb 17 2011

ach if its my new friend, then she's a gem, just a little disorganised in her thought. LOL

ThothLestat
21:35 Feb 17 2011

A little? Understatement of the year.

BWA HA HA HA HA

Vampirewitch39
22:04 Feb 17 2011

HA! :D

ET- forget calling home...go home.

;)

Joli
22:14 Feb 17 2011

Nooooooooooooo...you evil, evil rat! She must stay and be nurtured. I have been too long between crazies. I need this one. PLEASE let me keep her, George! I will name her George, and I will hug her, and pet her, and squeeze her, George.

Vampirewitch39
01:40 Feb 18 2011

Ok ok You can keep the member. But this foil hat is starting to get hot, and the metal underwear to keep the butt probe from happening is itching and pinching.

But if you must... I just can't say no to you.

;)

17:39 Feb 17 2011
Times Read: 783

Experiment successful. Cannot message, blast, or comment in your journal. Unless you are enjoying the quiet, you may now unblock me. Hurry! I miss you and it's dark out here.

COMMENTS

Morrigon
17:45 Feb 17 2011

MWHAHAH

Joli
18:13 Feb 17 2011

aaaahh. The sun shines again :)

18:38 Feb 15 2011
Times Read: 842

I'm not asking why you're lying on your back, presumably naked, barely covering your breasts. I'm really not! I am fairly sure I understand most reasons why you'd want to photograph yourself in such a pose. What I am asking is why it has to be your avatar.

I'm glad you're young, cute, and feel sexy. But when you're in that pose and you comment on my journal or interact with me, it feels a little weird. (Please read that "a little weird" as I typed it. I'm not ranting or freaking out. I'm expressing commentary on mild weirdness.)

Just like in "the real world", online communities have developed a few social conventions. Typing all in caps is annoying and becomes the online equivalent of shouting. Might I also suggest that your choice in avatar and even your nick should reflect your voice online.

For instance... Let's say that I write a lyrical poem and someone named LabiaWhore comments that it is beautiful and means a lot to her. I look over at her avatar and she's standing in a bathroom mirror with her tongue out while she touches her nipples. MILD WEIRDNESS

I admit that it's situational and relative for me, though, so I own part of the disconnect. If I look over and see a badger lying on its back or a duck swimming in a toilet, I don't seem to have any trouble with the voice. Hmmm...go figure.

COMMENTS

atyourwindow
19:45 Feb 15 2011

funny you should find yourself on a website called vampirerave and be complaining about mild weirdness...its been this way a long time now, nothing new.

Joli
20:04 Feb 15 2011

Come on, now...I'm not complaining. I tried to make that clear. It's easy to say, "nothing new." Does that mean I should hush about opinions or things that cause me to think out loud?

I'm even including myself in the mild weirdness by saying that it's relative and some things don't cause a disconnect for me that maybe should. All in all, it's just a big "Huh?!" I think it will be ok if I have one of those every now and then, don't you?

Morrigon
00:13 Feb 16 2011

I'm complaining about words being stuffed into my mouth. I don't know where those words have been and it's disgusting.

ThothLestat
01:57 Feb 16 2011

I read your journals... naked.

meeper
07:14 Feb 16 2011

I've learned that people's insecurities are echoed in how they display themselves. So you took a sexy slightly clothed provocative pictures, great. What you're hiding is that with the lights on and in a normal pose, you're an out of shape unnoticeable creature just begging for attention.

I'm all for weirdness. I just so happen to respect straight forward nonwhorish oddities.

Joli
16:22 Feb 16 2011

It's mainly that you're talking to the person and you can't help but look at their avatar. If they're nekky and in a provocative pose, it's as though you're having the conversation with them while they're like that. I must be old-fashioned. I can't talk about poetry, orphans, gardening, philosophy, or the nuances of my day with someone posed for sex toys.

NocturnalMistress
21:38 Feb 17 2011

I wonder if I made myself to look like a clown and messaged you, would you think I was joking or would you imagine me saying "... we all float down here"?

;)

Joli
21:43 Feb 17 2011

If I typed LOL right now, I would NOT be lying. That was great.

NocturnalMistress
21:57 Feb 17 2011

;)

... Why so serious?

23:30 Feb 11 2011
Times Read: 881

Defining Morri:

Verb:

Doing something to the nth degree.

"I don't just sin, I Morrigon!"

Noun:

1. A do-over for nice people.

Because I'm a reasonably good person, I sometimes get walked on when I'm too nice. I often think, I'd like a do-over, like golfers who get a Mulligan. Next time someone says, "Why did you do that?! Why wasn't I informed?!" and I automatically respond with apologies, I will ask for a do-over. A Morrigon. - 'I'm sorry, why wasn't I informed that you're a douche?!'

2. Unexpected hyjinx.

You just pulled a Morrigon! I'm watching you.

Adjective:

1. Attention to detail

"The lighting in that picture is damn near Morrigon."

2. Frolicsome

"The mime clad only in multi-color paint, ear phones, and a tarantula was confused at his arrest in Central Park. As he was dragged away, he feverishly gestured something that looked like teeth biting a derriere. Another victim of Morrigon-walking."

Adverb:

Obvious to anyone with a pulse, you moron.

"AHAHAHAHA! That was so wrong, it was Morri wrong" or "I don't know why you're crying, dude; I was Morri clear."

COMMENTS

Morrigon
23:43 Feb 11 2011

I am many things in reaction to this.

The top of the emotional list being:

Flattered.

Somewhat embarrassed.

Pants wettingly happy that I was in your thoughts long enough to make this.

I know... Creepy. I'm upgrading to online creepy older man. It's fun here.

ThothLestat
03:46 Feb 12 2011

I just Morri'd all over my keyboard.

Vampirewitch39
19:57 Feb 12 2011

Dang- this is Morri good. :D

21:53 Feb 11 2011
Times Read: 893

Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE colloquial sayings? I really do. My ex's family are from Mississippi and they have some really good ones like, when you have to do something over again because it's not quite good enough the first time, they might say:

"You better hoe that row again." Or, even better, "You better lick that calf again." (Some people remember where they were when John F. Kennedy was shot. I remember where I was when someone first suggested to me that I lick the calf again.)

My friends in Kentucky love bathroom humor, kind of an 8th grade mentality that never went away. They have many ways to describe the several processes that happen in that most important of rooms. Here is a charming example: "I gotta pee like a cow on a flat rock."

Another fun one from my ex-in-laws describes that sensitive bit of information that you sometimes have to share with a friend or family member whose pants have tucked up into their hindmost crevice. If you find yourself in that delicate situation, try something like this, "Hey! Your goat's in the garden!"

I broke Requiem the other day with my nice Southern euphemism for female wankery, "dialing the pink telephone."

I got thinking of this today when one of my volunteers was being fitted for a dress to be altered by another volunteer. Desiring to check the length (she's very tall), she bent over and asked, "Is my good china showing?" I still can't quite make it through that one without snorting.

COMMENTS

BLOODLIFE
22:17 Feb 11 2011

'Joli' The Gutter Years, what a great book that would make. I can see it parked on my bookshelf for sure.

Morrigon
22:33 Feb 11 2011

In regards to needing to go to the bathroom: "I have to piss like a racehorse."

Joli
23:33 Feb 11 2011

Oh yeah...I forgot that you spent some time in Kentucky, Morri. :P

Requiem
01:01 Feb 12 2011

Helping my mother bathe as she got very ill and aged, "You can step out now while I clean my kitchen."

I cannot say he phrase "clean the kitchen" now without a giggle snort going off in the back of my head.

Heheheh Good china! =) I may adopt that one.

13:42 Feb 11 2011
Times Read: 905

I have finally named them: Elboobs. I shall now run.

COMMENTS

ThothLestat
18:27 Feb 11 2011

*poker face*

18:46 Feb 08 2011
Times Read: 936

Well, now I feel like an ass. Sorry. I certainly wasn't trying to do anything sinister.

COMMENTS

birra
20:25 Feb 08 2011

No, no... hey, we don't all have an awesome firewall...

But, you can!

...still has that New Daire smell
19:28 Feb 03 2011
Times Read: 987

I like the chatty new Daire. I see his journal comments everywhere I go now. He's funny, too! I like him better than scary Old Daire.

COMMENTS

xxKontradictionxx
19:30 Feb 03 2011

Oh, me too!

It's been a real pleasure.

Bones
00:35 Feb 04 2011

Careful, it could be a trick. Daire will always be the scary dude! ;)

Requiem
00:36 Feb 04 2011

Umm. Daire's never BEEN scary. =/

birra
22:02 Feb 04 2011

Is there a new air about Daire?

Should we call it a Dairey-Air?

Joli
06:45 Feb 05 2011

I wouldn't Daire

BubbleGumClaudia
18:51 Feb 06 2011

Is the new Daire smell kind of like a new car smell???

sahahria
21:14 Feb 08 2011

♥ the wee irish spud muffin! :)

Nicnivian
20:32 Feb 12 2011

Daire will always be Daire ... he's a Taint licker it's all good :)

04:50 Feb 01 2011
Times Read: 787

Stab is a huge sic-fi buff. Together, we've made our way through Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Babylon5, much Star Trek, associated movies, the new Caprica series, and lately, the Stargate Atlantis series. Have you guys watched this? The enemy are the Wraith, life sucking vampire aliens. Yes, please!

This hobby goes very well with our beer exploration hobby, too. By the way, tried the Magic Hat #9 and loved it! Thanks for the tip.

COMMENTS

NocturnalMistress
06:02 Feb 01 2011

I actually really like Stargate Atlantis. :)

Any other good Scifi you would recommend other than what is listed above?

faeriemoon
19:48 Feb 01 2011

I have another beer recommendation...

Weihenstephaner, hefeweissbier. I

meeper
01:36 Feb 02 2011

Did you know that you were somewhere down on my drunk dials the other night? Had I just not passed out...

Have the two of you ever tried pumpkin beer?