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"Visualize the tick and the tock, smell the space, listen to the waves of life around you. Roll the wonders around on your tongue, touching all points as a favored food." - BlackTea
Just...damn. That's indescribable. I wish I'd written it.
VR, want to celebrate? Have I got cause for you! First, some history:
In January, our Board met and revoked the budget approval for 2008. They focused on the deficit spending we were doing, worried that our funds would quickly be depleted. A suggestion on the floor was to reduce staff. Between my two buildings, I have 12 staff members; only 2 are full time. The rest all work between 6-20 hours per week.
I asked to be given another way. I was charged by them to raise enough money to reduce our deficit budget by doing fundraising for the first time in our Center's history. It was so difficult to get that news at the end of January for the current year, especially since I would be reviewed at the mid point.
You walked with me and supported me through this year. VR even sponsored an auction! Some of you became personal donors. So many of you prayed and encouraged. We had record donations and sales at our Thrift Store; we wrote for and received a grant, and fundraising proved successful.
I am overjoyed to tell you that as of the end of last month, OUR Center IS IN THE BLACK! We never expected that. Our budget always runs a deficit. As of July 31, 2008, we are 15,000 dollars to the good and more fundraising is still on its way! What an amazing year. I feel like going outside and yelling my happiness to everyone. I feel like crying and partying. What an incredible year...thank you for walking it with me.
I had faith in you, and I know your faith and hard work, your motivation of others and their gracious donations to the center are at the core of everything you do.
I sometimes wonder if those who are still employed because of your dedication and hard work hold a proper level of appreciation for all that you've done.
I knew you could do it. But now I wonder if this won't be expected very year. :o
It is important to give back or "pay it forward" as some choose to call it. There are always reasons to do things like this; sometimes it’s just hard to find a way or something worthwhile to do.
So really all the thanks goes to you. You have truly inspired as another has said. You have done all the leg work and reached out, and guess what? You touched.
You touched with your very essence to help let others know of a need.
You touched with an opportunity to allow others to give, and we have.
It is because we wanted to, you helped some of us be able to say thank you in our own special way.
I can't tell you how good it is to see Meatball alive behind those eyes again. Some of the pictures taken in the vet's office made me wonder if his charm, love of life and trusting affection for his family were a thing of the past. Sometimes the psychological wounds are simply too deep leading to permanent emotional crippling. He obviously has a ton of heart and people around him who love him dearly.
That cat is plotting something... have you checked it for thumb growth? Meatball clearly knows about it because he is looking terribly pensive there. He is one handsome dog by the way:)
They are both beautiful, but the one of Allie is stunning. You are getting damn good with that camera.
The Face That Shines
08:00 Aug 15 2008 Times Read: 1,130
Blood tests at stroke level. One mild heart attack. No work this month because the medicines that will save her life leave her fatigued, off balance and forgetful.
She has no money and the food we have is mainly canned vegetables, soups, and boxed foods. She worried about offending us when she said she couldn't eat any of it, but would it be possible to have some oatmeal or some cheerios and maybe a low fat milk if we had it? She left with only 2 boxes of cereal and a half gallon of 2% milk. Her gratitude nearly did me in right there. She won't ever know how beautiful I found her and how much I want to be like her in spirit.
I sat here reading this and was bawling like a baby. You know how it is when you want to take them home with you and take care of them and knowing you can't do anything?
As always Joli..You have a kind heart and and a wonderful soul that outshines ALOT OF people in this world.... Oh how I wish I could help you with your cause........
Send me a secret. One thing about you that I don't know. A defining thing, like the seam along your spine, or a detail, like a single embroidered stitch. Whisper your breathy secret into my ear and I will respond in kind.
The taste on my tongue for 21 years has been that of regret. Dark honey decay, nearly sweet, but too much like the end to ever be. Now, I run my tongue along my teeth, my lips, and it's tasting newer, more full of life, and brighter in taste than it ever has.
Sadly, I still wear the guilt like a mouring veil.
When I am standing still, time is motionless. But, I am on the precarious edge of a starting point, a running point, and I hope to fling off these trappings, and feel what it's like to be warm again.
I'm thinking of you. Are you glad to know that? I'm going through your words to feel a little closer to you, and imagining your smile, maybe in the morning, when you find these words and an impression of me left behind, a moment in time...the essence of me wanting you.
Your sighs form the picture that many of us can only daydream about.
Vermillion Part 2
19:27 Aug 09 2008 Times Read: 1,259
Ever have a song that you hear for the first time and it feels like a part of you? Relevant and important. I realized at the end of this song that I had been holding my breath through the whole thing. If you have an opportunity to also listed to Part 1, do. It is more raw than this, less polished, but also talks right to me. I even wrote something in November that recalls for me that same feel.
Lyrics:
She seemed dressed in all of me
Stretched across my shame,
All the torment and the pain
Leaked through and covered me.
I'd do anything to have her to myself,
Just to have her for myself.
Now I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to do
When she makes me sad.
She is everything to me,
The unrequited dream,
The song that no one sings,
The unattainable.
She's a myth that I have to believe in,
All I need to make it real is one more reason.
I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to do when she makes me sad.
But I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me.
A catch in my throat, choke,
Torn into pieces, I won't. No.
I don't want to be this but
I won't let this build up inside of me (won't let this build up inside of me) x4
“Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain.” –William Faulkner
Doug Duffey Does it to Death
05:21 Aug 05 2008 Times Read: 1,315
Feeling quiet and pensive, thinking about a night I spent with my best friend, Mickey, and this man, Doug. He's an amazing New Orleans artist and just a gracious guy. I look forward to the time I get to hang out with him again. He's been living in Europe, but word on the street is...he's back! I love you, Doug.
I think I'll live in Europe for a while. No, now back to the French Quarter... maybe Australia: what a life. I guess when you've got talent dripping from every pore such decisions are easy.
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