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this week I was told that I may have to get an internal tens unit put into my spine. I was like for pain management are you insane??? I looked at the unit and though small a foreign object is not what I am looking for. I mean I can understand I am in intense pain and they can only see nerve blocks or that. I am trying to find a chiropractor for apparently that might do better for me and no shit I really got shaken by the whole dead your nerves or internal medicine ya to death.
Can you imagine going through airports and beeping like a mad dog? I cannot.. I travel a lot and well me not having an airport to go through rather train would be ok on certain journeys but others hell no. I just cannot see it. Beeping and such nope not a machine and will have a machine in me good god no.. But those are the only options at this point..
So I am going to talk to a chiropractor and go from there. I like alternative medicine rather then regular medicine anyways....

this week
Well strawberry is leaving again with jim. I am not jealous I am annoyed she did not tell me but an hour ago. So again Kizzy her dog is going to be grumpy and odd towards everyone. She has been here three days and is going back out. It is not fair to Kizzy for she is hurting and she is not getting the love she needs. The three days they have been at home they spoil her and left the cone of shame on her for she has been licking at her wound and well she cannot do that if it is for healing. She could not go to therapy for her wound was open but they evaluated her for sure. She was grumbly and rightly so. I would not be leaving my dog if I had to go out she would be coming with. But that would be me. I care about my dog not to leave her. She asked if I wanted to go to NY and I was like yeah but no one is here to watch the dogs. So I declined. If I don’t have some watching my dog while I am away there is no point in leaving my dog with karen for she would not be taking care of the dogs and she would not be able to take care of them. She barely walks herself so walking the dogs are out of the question. I am also not able to afford a baby sitter at this time so when I do I will and I will have someone watching my babies while I am away. For I plan to get a vacation and get the frick out of here and relax. Lol I need a drink
Well the week is over and kizzy was a trooper. Except when it came to her meds. OMG she ate around the hotdogs and would spit them out like a kid… She was definitely funny but also abit annoying. She was missing the parents big time and I tried everything to make her okay with the fact she did not have her parents.

I had an awesome time at the tea party. It turned out to be lovely 11 people showed and they brought dolls and outfits that were just amazing. I was in awe of some of the works of art that came into the house. Karen stayed to herself and watched everyone. I was amazed how much fun it turned out and enjoyed it fully.
Patricia was kind enough to give me a gift for hosting the party. She has a march doll like I do and my doll aurora has white skin her version is green skinned so the fact she got something for my doll was amazing she gave me a wig and outfit that was so cute I cried a little. For my doll I have made her clothes and I was not thinking of spending lots of money on wigs and clothes. I was trying to work on my skills in the making outfits since it is a challenge for my hands to keep working.
I was asked to do a photo shoot also and to be a fawn in it. I agreed to it and said yes for sure why not. I was honored to be asked at all. Since I have not modeled since I was a teenager. So to me yeah it felt good..
Then my roommate decided to come out when it was her party and she had seven people so I left the food out for she had guests and she did contribute anything to them. I was actually surprised how lax she was about it since she did nothing to make it worth while. People nibbled on the food like it was for them to feast on. I looked at her and said nothing but thought most of her friends where a tad rude and well vulgar. I stepped away and I heard her brag how she helped me out and how she saved me from FL. I was like um one you did not save me I choose to come here for I did not want drama and two I do stuff in the house to make up for not working since I am doing ssi. She has a roommate that pays 1000.00 a month here and then she has a husband paying for everything else. I bring home food and use what little money I do have to feed my animals and hers. And food for the house hold. Because I don’t like to be a free loader and she was not asking for money. So here she had the balls to make it seem like I was not doing anything and that she was my savior. I was embarrassed and did not say anything. I understood when she said it to her family but her friends are nothing to smile at and nothing personal there was only one with any class. So I don’t know how to talk about it and I am going to therapy tomorrow and so I will go there and discuss it more I guess for I felt angry and annoyed that she was that open to people about it.

It is snowing don't think people are going to show to the tea party but who knows maybe more then three people will be there. lol Snowwwww scares most people so we shall see.

Other then that I am ready for tea and such. So it will have to do. roommate is going to have a sexual tupperware party after wards so yeah night and day today will happen whether or not the weeather affects people. My cat seems to think that there is something going on for there is a table for him to perch on that normally isnt there. He for the first time is outside and looking around. Normally he is my room or karens room. Since kizzy is in the kitchen rather than living room he feels safe. Till people show up. He will run as soon as he sees new people. If they show. (big if they show.)

So today was my lazy day of no doctors and physical therapy. I got no real sleep but stayed in bed anyways for the animals were stirring faster then I could get up. Kizzy got her meds and now drugged her the second time for she is not making any effort on her foot at all. Heat does not help and she literally goes hoping on her back leg so she does not use it at all. Her parents are out of town yet again and taking care of her is a huge thing. She is huge and needs a lot of attention. She makes noises like she is tired but wants love so I have to get her on the couch to get at her belly for I cannot do a floor. Walking her is hard for she tries to rush it and it does not go well for her. Her leg got dislocated and she fell a flight of stairs so she is 120 pounds of mommy isn’t home and you are the next one in line so pay attention to me damn it mode. Which I do and my dog looks at me like what the duce????
This weekend is the tea party that will be for doll people yes. I wanted to do a tea time party for people and get them to make costumes for their dolls . So I put it out to some people that got signed off to come I think we shall have 10 people who knows maybe more. We shall see. So today made apple kuhen and chocolate cake and yellow cake and then blue berry muffins and chocolate pudding and vanilla pudding. I have to make the cookies tomorrow so we have that as well. So Saturday all I have to do is make cucumber sandwiches and cream cheese sandwiches and cut up veggies. Lol for people who are on diets. Bought three times of ice tea and a coke and sprite so we shall see what happens on tonight for sure. I have never held a doll party before so we shall see who comes.

well yesterday was a day of what the duce and a bit of catching up...
I had gotten my exercise for I did laundry which going up and down the stairs is amazing. I almost feel human again. However I got unexpected exercise by a huge spider. Not joking it was big and in the bathroom and I could not kill it, for it didn't want to die. I threw a cat at it and my cat basically looked at like are you crazy chic? Freakin spider died after drowning it for ever and a day. Gosh it was huge and no joke I yelled die die die mfer,... My roommate looked at me like what is going on in there? I said it was a spider that would not die and the cat did not go after it so since Jim isn't around to get it, it had to go.... She laughed until she saw the body in the sink. She shivered and understood and walked away..
yep too much exercise makes me a werido for sure.

day seven of watching my roomates dog while away. Saged house for she has fallen way too much for a dog her size. Got other roommate involved in saging her room too.