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Over this past week I have had surgery,almost got killed by the Pharmacy for prescribing me the wrong medicine or should I say giving me the wrong medication,not able to hold any food down,or water for that matter,lost one of my closest friends,lost the Coven that let me be me,but I am with my friends so I should just buck it up and quit whining.



And through all of this in my little square of life I receive a phone call yesterday stating your Uncle is dying and I was astounded and apprehensive simply because they have hated me my entire life,this I couldn't figure out,never have I done a thing to bring shame,whatever I have dealt with this forever it seems,so it doesn't overly bother me.Anyways I went to see him,I think I gasped aloud at what I seen,why call me when he was like this,why not 14 months ago when he was able to sit up so that I may say good-bye,what I said good-bye to was a shell of the person I knew.I have never seen a person with Cancer on deathbed,I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy,my eyes sprung with tears and I just sat there watching like I wasn't there.



When I left,everyone grabbed my brother and said you will always be family,I stood off to the side like always,the one who doesn't fit,the one who is always alone and different and never received nothing,I will admit it stung abit but then again I should have known.



I cried to my girlfriend and she held me close to her and just keep whispering She is all I need in this life and you know what,she is right.She took me and never discarded me,no matter the hell I have been through with her she still standing with me.



I have a couple other girls that have proven to be as worthy.



Erin,my best friend always.I am thankful to you daily.I love you more than you could ever know.

Keri,my other best friend,me and her we got history.I loves you both.

And to another lost friend

Cacee..I thank you for the months we shared,you really changed me,I am sorry for everything.

COMMENTS

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erin88
15:03 Apr 30 2009

I LOVE YOU, BESTFRIEND



Khaos triplets for life :P

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NocturnalMistress
17:38 Apr 30 2009

I LOVE YOU TOO BEST FRIEND!!!

KHAOS TRIPLETS FOR All ETERNITY!!



*HUGS*

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twoforme
03:29 May 01 2009

I didn't know it was that bad Rayne, I hope you are finally getting better.



I accept you just they way you are and would never think of you any other way. And I am happy that your girlfriend was there to help you through all of this.



Let me know if you need someone to talk to if you are unable to get in touch with anyone else.



Much love and tons of hugs.



Jessica

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NocturnalMistress
03:32 May 01 2009

SEE Rayne, told you Jessica is the best and is AWESOME!

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ImageMaker
23:27 May 01 2009

Rayne, darling, I love you dearly. You haven't lost me, I'm just withdrawing for a moment. But you are in my heart and thoughts, always in my prayers and my heart is breaking for you right now. I wish I could hold you and make it all better. Be well.

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POST COMMENT

You think you have everything in your life all in order,your finally on the right track,or whatever track you think is right and then with a explosion in walks this dream,you can't think,walk or even breath,to breath is to lose this.You might wake up and it is something you never wanna wake from.



I think I am lost in a world spinning me around but I couldn't be happier,it is rather intense this painful pleasure.



I wanna be lost eternally

COMMENTS

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ImageMaker
14:29 Apr 21 2009

ditto

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IcyRayne
14:15 Apr 22 2009

I am having the time of my life.

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POST COMMENT

I woke this morning huddled in a corner and very disoriented as if I didn't know where I was or how I ended there,Thanks my girlfriend didn't realize I had her trapped or she would have awaken me and I would have freaked out.I hate the dark when I sleep,I always fear what lurks behind every corner,I know what lurks behind every corner,my own personal hell devouring me with a sadistic grin,it has followed me my entire life and I have yet to elude it.



At times my wench understands and allows me a tidbit of light to flash under the door so if I do wake with a start I won't jump on her,I did that before,She made me sleep in the dark and told me she has me,shes my protector,hmm I still have yet come to the conclusion of how considering she is sleeping right with me,how can you protect if your sleeping?.I woke and glanced at the door and one of her kids was standing there still and staring.I let out a blood curdling scream and ended on top of her shaking,it really makes for a interesting look.



I am not one to have many nightmares and I go to bed so late so I won't wake up in the night but yesterday I took a nap and had the most vivid dream of being trapped in the Saw movies,I can bring myself out of crazy dreams quickly and if the dream was worth it I can wake up and close my eyes yet again and pick up where I left off in my dream,it really makes things interesting.I just have to make sure they are and mind you if I have erotic dreams I have to leave my bedroom otherwise I might wake up with a bitch smack and get kicked off the bed..:D