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Nature's First Green Is Gold

Her Hardest Hue To Hold

Her Early Leaf's A Flower

But Only So An Hour

Then Leaf Subsides To Leaf

So Eden Sank To Grief

So Dawn Goes Down Today

Nothing Gold Can Stay

(Not dated)

By HellChildDami ©



Isn't it strange how the events of our lives

Shape us to be the person we are?

The profound effect people have on us,

Leave a mark in our souls.

It maybe someone from childhood,

So long ago, and yet we still remember!

Perhaps the most mysterious effects

Are caused by the unknown!

Someone you've never met,

But somehow have contact with.

Usually starting with a common intrest,

Something you both know and enjoy.

A strong bond created

Be it emotional or mental.

Through the connection you begin to know,

The life, the history, more so the person.



If fate is my fortune?

Where will this lead and what is the effect?

Will the two meet, and what of the effect?

Only time and the future know.

What are the expectations, the anticipations?

Will fears turn to disappointments?

Thoughts and dreams to become the reality?

What does the mysterious unknown rear in it's place?

Only the time and the future are the ones to know!

Is this what they call FATE?

1987

By Dami and Skitzo ©



Where there's a will, there's a way

And I'm damn willing to make your day

Don't call me evil, don't call me sly

I'd Live or die just to see you cry

My revenge is ohh so sweet

I'll make you knell to feel my heat

You're badly brusied as your roughly beaten

Cause where you come from there's no cheatin

I'll show no mercy, I'll bleed them dry

Cause if i don't you'll surly die

I've got claws for nails, my skin is fried

I am the beast from which you can not hide

I live in pitch back nights, with no moon in the sky

It's eternal darkness for you and I

With bloody animlas at my side, the maggots to help me carroid

I'll turn your nightmare's into your dreams

Come live in Hell you'll see what I mean

With corrupted minds, we're dirty theives

We're pitiful sinners down on our knees

If you truly like this, then,

Do sin for the devil and do as you damn well please

By Dami and Skitzo 1987 ©



Stab you through the heart with my knife

Your blood is flowing out through the slit

Out goes your life, Satan is rising

It fills my veins with light

There is eternal living

Now I'm feeling right

I'm crawling very slowly

My eyes are filled with fear

My Master is near

It's growing faster, the hate and sin

Hellish demons will eventually win

There's no more questions about where you've been

All you want is lying within

With upside down crosses and black candles that surround

This is your real nightmare

Your arms are tied down

You're being eaten slowly

You can feel the pain

Your silent screams have not yet been heard

There's nothing to gain

The heat is rising, you're burning up inside

You are the HELL CHILD!

And your life has just passed you by!

2004

By HellChildDami ©



I have learned from you many things in life, about a woman I knew only a short time; I remember very little, but through your stories I have learned about my mother. You ‘ve told me of a man I know as my Grandfather, A strong and proud man full of imagination and artistic ability. From these two I have drawn some of my many talents. My wild and out going side, my cooking, my individuality, all part of my mother. My drawings, and ability to put to words together like a scene Grandfather painted. I used to think that I was a part of everyone else but me; You have helped me to see that I am a person of myself. I have done some unforgettable things, things I regret and wish I had never done. But you cannot change your past, only move on and live on. Though you are not always near to me, everyday I see something that reminds me of the things you’ve told and taught me. Through that I have learned that someday your time will come, I used to cry at the thought of losing you, scared of what it would mean. I know now through your stories and love that you will live on. I will share with others all that you have taught me, hoping that they take with them the lessons I have learned. Told in your own special way Grandmother.

By HellChildDami 2/14/2000 ©



As a young girl I dreamed of a knight in shining armor,

A prince to live happily ever after.

But my name is not Cinderella, nor is it Snow White or Sleeping Beauty.

My life is not that of a child’s storybook where everything has a happy ending.



You are not a knight or a prince, my life is no storybook.

Since you have come into my life you have sent my heart aflutter,

My mind in a whirl wind and my life toppys-turvy.



You are not rich, living in a castle

You don’t make the girls faint, when you grace their presence.

You’re not Einstein, winning the Noble Peace Prize.



What you are, is a good ‘ole country boy, you work hard for your living.

Everything you have is yours, it is not given, not taken, but earned.

You have what you need, things you want and nothing more.



What I dreamed as a child has matured with age,

I no longer search for the prince or knight,

For I have found him, you are my fairytale dream come true.



You are the man whom I wish to love, honor, cherish, and respect

From the first day we met I knew in my heart.

You are the one I will grow old holding and loving,

Till death do us part, living Happily Ever After.



So where are you now???

By HellChildDami ©



God gave you a beautiful rose to hold

And he did bloom, for five wonderful months

He opened in October on a beautiful fall day

November you gave “Thanks” for the joy in your life

December you gave gifts for the present you held in your arms

January brought his first snow Angel on one cold crisp day

February for the love that grew every time you looked in his eyes

March brought such sadness, we just can’t understand



Each of these five white roses symbolize’s just one

One for each of his five fingers on each of his little hands

One for each of his five toes on each of his tiny feet

One for each of his five months that he bloomed here on this earth

He brought us all sunshine with his cute little smile

And the beautiful music of his laughter

White is for the Angel,

For God took him home to be one of His small children



Written for a dear friend who lost her son 3/12/2001 ©

By HellChildDami 1/14/90 ©



You tell me if I don't like it to leave!

But what would you do if I left?

How would you get along?

How would you make it through the day without clean clothes?

How would you make it without a real meal to eat?

How could you get up in the morning?

I've wanted to leave.

I've tried to leave, but all you do it bring me back

Why? If you tell me to leave, Why do you bring me back?

You know that I want to leave.

I want out!

But how can I when I feel in a bind?

I feel strangled by your love,

Suffocated by your hatred.

I can't help it if I'm so much like her,

It's my nature.

You can deal with it in your own way.

I'm proud to be different, and even prouder to be like her.

I lived with it all my life.

I've dealt with it in my own way.

I love her and I love you.

But you've got to look at me and see me, not her.

I'm myself, different from all the rest.



Love always, Your First Daughter

By HellChildDami 1989 ©

For 'Lil' Mikey



Why did he do it?

He knew what he was doing,

Knew what would happen

He knows the stories, he's heard them all

But yet he still did it



Now he sits alone in a room

Trying to figure out his life

Life with all it's little twists and turns

Life with all it's troubles, and hard times

He still can't figure out what went wrong

He had it all, his family loved him

Not tying him down

All his friends supported him and truly cared

But now he's in that room

His family only visits

His friends, they don't visit, they can't call

And most dont' even write

So he's left all alone

My heart is there with him

I help him in every way I can, I see him, I write

I support him every step of the long way

Hoping someday I'll see him home

And then he won't be alone anymore

By HellChildDami 1989 ©



He gives you strength and courage

When failure comes your way

He is your inspiration to face each newborn day

He comforts you and sustains you

When efforts seem in vain.

He is your consolation

In times of grief and pain

He is your friend when other refuse to lend an ear

Or fail you at your lowest

He is always there beside you

To wipe away the tears

He answers all your problems

When you don’t know what to do

And when you’re lacking courage

He has faith in you

He is always right beside you

Even when he is not there

So when you are alone

you know someone cares



Your guess as to who HE is...

By HellChildDami ©



I feel like the new kid even though

I’ve been here all of my life

I’ve tried running, but I run to nowhere

I’ve tried to talk, tried to yell out but

Nothing seems to come out



Noone see’s me and

Noone cares and

Noone wants me

I’ve got no place to go



So what do I do

But sit in my room turn on the tunes

And I cry, yeah I cry, I cry to noone

Cause



Noone sees me and

Noone cares and

Noone wants me

I’ve got no place to go



I’ve got to get out

Got to get away

I’ve got to leave this town behind me

Leave this place and this life behind

I must start all over

I’ll try yeah I’ll try, but



Noone will see me and

Noone will care and

Noone will want me

I’ll still go nowhere, nowhere because



Noone sees and

Noone care and

Noone wants me

I’ve no place to go

I’ll go nowhere.

By HellChildDami 1988? ©

My earliest memories are not anything specific

They’re more like feelings as opposed to events

Feelings of abandonment, of loneliness, of sadness

It’s said our destiny is formed in these earliest moments

That our fate is determined at this critical juncture

The chosen begin their path towards greatness

The ill-fated are doomed from the beginning

The unfortunate devour themselves

Searching for annihilation

You see, we are all prisoners of our nature

Locked into certain patterns of behavior

I could no sooner change the path that I’ve been placed upon

Then I could stop the swallow from migrating or a salmon from spawning

So it is written, so it shall come to pass

Quote the Raven, Nevermore

By HellChildDami 1987 ©

Written for Skitzo, then she moved...



It has been said that friends come in and out of your life

Like Busboys in a restaurant

But for some reason you are the Busboy that has chosen me to wait on.

You are by my side whenever I need a friend

Not always physically but always mentally.

Whenever I am down, and no one seems to notice,

Or when I need to cry, and no one is there,

All I have to do is think of you, and there you are

To talk with me, to cry with me, to laugh with,

To even knock some sense into me.

You are not just a Busboy, you are a friend, a confident

A leader, a tissue, and a riddle.

You make me happy when my eyes are grey,

When my mind is a mess.

And I will always do the same for you,

I hope we stay together,

Don’t leave me...

By HellChildDami 1997 ©



I looked at you that first night

Thought you were hot

Then you started to talk

An a**hole you would become

I left with a sour taste in my mouth

A few weeks went by

We met again

Still looking as good as before

And yet when you opened your mouth

The words were bitter

Was it all an act, are you always an a**hole

Then I saw you again

Acting normal, were you sober

I thought ‘Would the real you please stand up?’

I walked away the juice’s flowing

With my mind made up

That night or not at all

A plan in motion knowing all along

As the cards fell into place

my mouth, hands and tongue, a mind within your own

You couldn’t believe the things I did do

Who in their right mind

Me, I guess that’s who

Plan in motion knowing all along

The outcome, one good plan

Turning into one good......

By HellChildDami 1998 ©



Time passes by so slowly in this state I'm in

My head spinning, reeling out of control

My stomach rolling over and over, empty now

This feeling of dread, terror in my aching mind

The effects last only part of the day or so

It's just the wait, it seems so long

Wish it would go away,

Clear my head, stop the ache.

I got a party to go to tonight....

By HellChildDami 1988 ©



I sit here in my dimly lit room and I wonder,

I wonder what it would be like to be dead?

Would it be like they say of heaven?

All white with pearly gates to welcome me?

Or would it be like they say of Hell?

All red and black and hotter then I could imagine?

Or...is there truly nothing out there?

I wonder if I could do it...

Could I kill myself?

Part of me says yes, part of me says no.

The part of me that says yes, doesn’t care about anything.

The part of me that says no, cares about you.

You mean everything to me, I can’t let you go.

But I hate life.

I hate life so much I want to end it all...

End it all by suicide.

But I can’t get to the point of no return.

Where would it leave you? I don’t know.

Could I do it? Would I do it? When should I do it?

All these questions I need answers too...

But I can’t find them within myself

Please Help Me!!!

Help me to find the answers,

Help me to live...

By HellChildDami ©



How do I express the thoughts within my head?

The feeling my heart screams from deep within?

The emptiness, lonelyness, the pain of being ripped apart

The bitterness, the anger, the rage that chases about these walls

The love I felt for you, you can only imagine

But the pain of being apart was killing me slowly

I tried to fight on every day

It was all the same, the happiness and glees, the bitterness and tears

How do I say goodbye to the best and worst things of my life?

Do I stay or do I go?

Do I push away what I am to be what you need,

Or do I push YOU away to be who I am?

You can't, won't, have never accepted who I am.

So I've been what YOU needed all along.

Putting myself into a small room

In the corner of my heart, in the corner of my mind

No one see's it, I don't let me out.

When will I be me?

Where do I get the strength to go on each day?

To be what you need,

But not be me???

By HellChildDami ©



When as you grow

There will come a time in your life

All that has been said

Along with all that has been done

Will start to have meaning

Until that time comes

Confussion and questions

Run through your mind

Many questions unasked

Are answered within your life

Should there arise a question unanswerable

Look deep within your yourself

And always remember

That though life it seems is hard

I will always be in your heart

And I will always be on your mind

If I'm not there to guide you in person

I'll always be with you in your heart

In your heart as a guide

Look deep within

The answers were always there



Written for the love of my life TJCP

SUICIDE IS PAINLESS ©

By HellChildDami



Since they do not

Understand,

I can not live

Cause if I do

I'll die

Death is wrong!!! I've had

Enough of all the lies.



Insted I end it all by

Suicide. I say:



Please do not stop me

Although you try to

Insist I'm crazy,

Nothing will stop me. I'm

Lifeless. I've had

Enough of this life. It

Sucks!!! Nothing to do but

Sit, grow old, and die!!!

Bad Trips ©

By Dami and Skitzo



Bad trips come and bad trips go

But this bad trip will never let go



The walls fall around me

I hear a baby cry

I'm living in a nightmare

I just wish I could die

Cuz' this bad trip isn't lettin go



The sweat and anger grows fast in my head

I need another fix

Just one more hit, it's all I need

Won't you please just let me be?



Among my dead brain cells a time bomb ticks

Foot steps are getting louder

I turn to see, but there is noone out there

Some bad trips come and some bad trips go

But this bad trip still won't let go



My head flies through the air

From the shreeking of my life

With blood stains on the ceiling

My life fades away quickly

I've got to get away from this bad trip



I read the past clearly

The present is the sin

The future is the danger

Where do I go from here?

My end is coming quickly

Death will soon be near



And because you are the fool

And you have done what I have done

You would like to know

"When will it let go?"