The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Well, mom and I stayed up all night watching the first seven episodes of Stranger Things Season Four. I cannooooooooot wait for the next episodes. I probably should have slept, though. I have a ton of shit to do today. Jake and I are putting our raised garden bed together today, also trying to get the garage cleaned and rinsed out because the turkeys have been running free in it til we get their coop delivered. I need to clean out and vacuum both cars, as well as give them a wash. Then, we are going to the movies and dinner tonight for a much needed and long overdue date night. We are going to see Top Gun Maverick. I was finally able to see the first one the other day on Netflix. Can't say that I'm too exited to see the new one, but I know he is, and that's enough for me. Plus, I got some of these "chill" pills from Beyond Hello, so I am going to have a great day today. Then maybe finish the night off with the "love" pills we got too. Today is my only off day, so I will get a nap in to start but it's going to be a long day for me. Going to bed early though, and it's only 633am. Hah-hah.

COMMENTS

-

---

PhoenicianDream
07:19 Jun 01 2022

My other half and I binged the new episodes of Stranger Things over the weekend too. I loved it.

It sounds like you had a great weekend. ❤️

---

Hatfield
06:26 Jun 02 2022

I did indeed have a great weekend.

---

POST COMMENT

I will never understand the point of having so many profiles to one person. I can see maybe one or two, so you can be in multiple houses, covers or alliance... but more than that I think would be too much for me to keep up with. To each their own though. I think they just like to gang up on someone and feel powerful about numbers on a website. SMH.

We are now at four turkeys and two ducks. We have a bourbon red, blue slate, royal palm, and a black Spanish turkey. The ducks are mscovy(sp?). They currently have the run of the garage until we get the shed made into a couple qith a run. Next spring we will add a second run coming out the other side of the shed. I can't wait. We've talked about getting some rabbits as well. Maybe next year we will put in a pig pen too.

We sat down and got our financial plan in place the other night, which is awesome sauce. Slowly coming together, but it is coming together. That's all that matters.

COMMENTS

-

---

immortalxkiss
15:10 May 25 2022

It is silly. I have 4, though only active on my main, the others I log into maybe a few times a month, if even that. But there are some with 30+ for whatever stupid reason. For some, it is partly an intimidation tactic, do as I say or I'll hit you with all my accounts. I honestly don't see a point in it. I can't keep up with the small handful I have, I couldn't imagine having 10, 20, or even 30 that I was active on daily. I don't have that kind of time.

---

Hatfield
04:11 May 26 2022

@immortalxkiss I have problems keeping up with just one anymore, honestly. Not sure how you can do 4. Lol. Maybe they have one for everyone personality... I dunno. I hope I didn't just offend someone with schizophrenia, and if I did I am sorry. I think it is also an intimidation tactic.

---

POST COMMENT

My individual literally just called her mother because I wouldn't watch a tv show with her. Mind you, we just watched half an episode of The Good Doctor. I came into the office literally because she turned it off. I started working on my bills and personal stuff. She asked me to come watch tv, and I told her to give me a little bit. She said well what if I tell you what it's about. I told her again that was fine, but I was not going to drop what I was doing to go in there and that she would have to wait. She got mad and went to call her mother and tell her mother that she asked me several times to watch tv with her, and that I straight told her "no." I went in there and told her mother that I meant no disrespect, but I had told Amy twice that it would have to wait and that I had no issue watching anything. I told her no when she became pushy and demanding pretty much and that I had talked to my director before and they told me that it wasn't even required of me to go in there and watch ANYTHING if I did not want to. I told them both that I never had an issue watching tv with her, ever, unless she was being pushy and demanding and that I will not bow down to her being a bully. I told her if she gave me to 1130pm that I would go in there and watch tv with her. It's now 1136pm and she is in her office in the basement, so obviously it wasn't that fucking important huh. I am so sick of this shit dude. I am not your play toy, I do not get paid to be your friend. I get paid to support you. That's it.

Alright. So, tomorrow I am going to pick up two duck babies and two turkey babies. I have $1700 coming out for bills and other things. I have another $1000 coming out to get my car legal. Tomorrow is going to be a busy busy day for me.

I added it up, and if I can send $250 each month to one of these big bills to get them paid off faster, we will eventually have an extra $980 a month. That's just crazy. There are a lot of open shifts coming up that I am debating picking up so that I have the extra to make the extra payments, just have to okay them with the husband.

I am getting two more turkeys and two ducks on friday. Husband doesn't know about the turkeys yet, so hopefully he wont be too terribly mad. Work has been okay I guess. I haven't really updated my journal on her for a minute I feel like, so I think I will do that when I get back up later after I go home and sleep. :)

Stay tuned!

It's been up and down the last couple of days. Sunday night was a mess because my individual that I work with did not want to take her meds in order for her to sleep, so she was awake until 4am. She is in a trial period where she isn't supposed to ask us anything from 1230am-630am, so she is not doing very well so far.

My husband had one of his friends and their wife over on Monday night. They're going through some family stuff and needed a place to crash for the night, and I understood. My husband and I have been together for 9.5 years, married for 5 next month and I never knew about some of his fetishes til that night. Lol. I'm not sure why he's never told me or anything, I've told him a lot about the fetishes I have. (No, I will not disclose to you, lol.) I told him now that I know, I can do things that align with it, and honestly it made me feel a little better about myself and my self esteem finding it out.

Forward to today - My individual is giving me shit about her meds again, and it is not 1247am. I am going to try and pass her meds again, and let her know that this behavior is counting against her. She only has 60 days to get this right, so hopefully she gets in line with it, otherwise she will really make everyones life a living hell if she fails.

Tonight has been a rough one mentally. I'm struggling with the thoughts that I'm not good enough, I'm not doing enough, and that I am not being enough for my family. I struggle with my self esteem, and I have been this way for years. I'm overweight, my depression makes it hard for me to even have the energy or motivation to shower or brush my hair even. I feel like I am an embarrassment to my husband because all of his friends and co-workers have like these skinny, beautiful wives and I am just sat here looking a beached whale of a mess. I had to put my diamond painting away because my mind literally would not let me focus on anything but my bad thoughts and failures. I just want to feel okay, man. I just want to wake up for one fucking day and not feel as if I could drive off a cliff and everyone would be better off.

I have to get this under control before it really does be the end of me. I'm so scared that this might be what it comes down to, my mental health finally making it's last announcement and me just saying you know what, it's time.

COMMENTS

-

---

PhoenicianDream
11:21 May 03 2022

I know solidarity isn't a cure, but I understand your struggles and there's hope. Hang in there. ❤️

---

SirESlick
16:24 May 20 2022

Remember this. Life is so precious and we only have one of them. I understand your thoughts and feelings. I have been there many times. Keep your head up and continue to accept the love you receive from those around you. Be strong.

---

POST COMMENT