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well how nice am I? I pick fights with friends because im upset. I get moody so I ignore them. I dont want to get hurt so I dot tell them things I probably should. And then when its done all I have to say to them is im sorry. Like that fixed all the wrong I did. Am such an asshole sometimes its ridiculous that i even have these friends. So to any of my friends that read this, Thank you. Seriously with all my heart thank you for being there and dealing with my shit. Its not your burden to carry and not ur shit to deal with so thank you. Other then thanks I need to say im sorry. Really sorry..... and im going to try to be better about this crap from now on. Ill tell what needs to be told. I should know your not going to hurt me if i tell you. Its the subconscious thing. I trust you. I wont pick fight with you. I wont get quite so cranky =) ..... ill try anyway. with all of it all try. =D

Why am i never good enough? why is it i still hope? hope against all odds that im wrong when i know im not? I still stand here and let my self be hurt. I hate myself for feeling like this. I let it happen. I don't even try to stop it. I just let it happen and stand right there. Feels like i got horse kicked in the heart. I try to break free but i cant. I just don't know what to do!!! What am i doing wrong? I don't think i have the strength to go on anymore. I just don't know why im never good enough. I didn't think there was anything that utterly wrong with me. Guess i was wrong. Wrong again..... Im so stupid.. so useless. I hate this.

Well lets see here shall we?

Im bored. I had a shitty ass day earlier and the day before wasnt so hot either.. But hey things started to look up a couple of hours ago. Till i then had no one to talk to lol That brought the goodness down to a screeching halt.

I hate when my friends are hurting and im not there to help them out. Seems to be what im good at. Not being there when im needed. Not a gift i like or am proud of.

Another thing i hate are liars and people who play with my emotions. And then there comes theses people who wonder why i hate everyone until they prove that they are different to me. Omission of the truth, just so it be know, IS A LIE!

Now that were clear on that.....The point to this is????

Within Temptation- Forgiven



Couldn't save you from the start

Love you so it hurts my soul

Can you forgive me for trying again

your silence makes me hold my breath

All time has passed you by



for so long I've tried to shield you from the world

you couldn't face the freedom on your own

Here I am

left in silence



You gave up the fight

you left me behind

all that stands forgiven

You'll always be mine I know deep inside

all that stands forgiven



Watch the cloud drifting away

Still the sun can't warm my face

I know it was destined to go wrong

You were looking for the great escape

to chase your demons away



for so long I've tried to shield you from the world

you couldn't face the freedom on your own

Here I am

left in silence



You gave up the fight

you left me behind

all that stands forgiven

You'll always be mine I know deep inside

all that stands forgiven



I've been so lost since you've gone

why not me before you

why did fate deceive me



Everything turned out so wrong

Why did you leave me in silence



You gave up the fight

you left me behind

all that stands forgiven

You'll always be mine I know deep inside

all that stands forgiven