So Cupid has struck you with his limp arrow today! Valentine’s Day has been fucking boring so far! Hopefully I can penetrate you better with the raw piercing power of my perennial penis! I can serenade you with an unparalleled poet’s vocabulary, and make myself feel better by renting Hubble Telescope to search for
the tip of my ego, because Cupid’s dick is not nearly as large as mine!
Visitation by her bedside, under the velvet February night
As she sooths my surrogated soul with a delicate delight
Listening to her dreary tears caress against my chest
Encompassing my spirit nature in honor to be her guest
Nevermore shall I lust for possessed illusions I can never trust
Inquiring never mind to the ever minds of the unjust
Treasuring our still moments through the ever infinities
Noting the punishing clouds that instill my never forgiven iniquities
Evermore our life-loving moments shall define our love stricken sick identities
As it clearly can be seen, I accidently reversed the “T,I” to the “I,T.” Hey, letter play rhymes like a shitty rapper like Lil Wayne or Kanye! However, it was fluent enough, thus, I do not give a fuck. I know that it has been a difficult month for us both, but it is nothing that we cannot get through if we apply four open, fully vibrant ears. I love you very much and sincerely hope that this Valentine’s Day brings much meaning to you. In the words of St. Valentinus, “I will tickle rape you if you do not appreciate my Valentine!” Okay, he possibly did not say that, but I thought he was cool a enough guy to mention. More or less, I just didn’t want to waste more money getting you another Valentine’s Day present when I can write my own Valentines for free! I’m sure I’m going to get beat up later. LOL like a computer conversation, but it’s justified because I am on a computer! Ha Ha! I love you very much and just as easily as I can jerk a tear from you in sentiment, I hope I can crack a couple of smiles with the same ease, because it’s too fucking annoying being sad all the time.
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