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1 oz vodka (any brand)

1 oz Passoa® liqueur



Well it was pointed out to me recently that with all my potions available, I still didn't have anything for the common headache. Now at first I thought...that's what aspirin is for...and my second thought was that a majority of my potions actually give you a headache if not something far worse but then my third thought was (and third thoughts are really where I tend to shine anyway)...my third thought was that of course if my potions give you headaches, it would be pure genius both scientifically and financially to come up with a new potion to cure them. I told my research staff about this and after 30 minutes or so of looking at their confused faces I told them again and applied some motivational threats of torture. Immediately the full scale of this idea dawned on them and how inconceivable it would be to forego this new direction so they began at once to dive into ancient grimoires and artifacts in search of a cure for headaches that didn't include aspirin, acetaminophen (tylenol) or ibuprofen (advil) as a major ingredient. It also dawned on them that they get paid too much and no longer have need for lunch breaks (it's amazing how threats of torture can clear the mind for more important thoughts.



One of my more eager researchers brought me a recipe that included cocaine which sure enough is good for headaches among other things but it's been a standard rule of mine to make sure that my potion recipes involve easy to get ingredients and while cocaine isn't exactly hard to get these days, it's also been a rule that nothing in my potions should come with a sentence of more than 2 years jail time if found on your person...so we saved that recipe for another night.



Once we started looking into shaman ritual potions and more specifically shaman potions from the islands, we hit pay dirt...the following potion is said pay dirt now available for usage.



The recipe is rather straightforward and calls for 1 part vodka and 1 part Passoa liqueur. Passoa liqueur is a passion fruit alcohol that was made by natives in Fiji and then later by the right honorable Dutch Captain Abel Janszoon when he discovered Fiji. Ancient Fijians were cannibals and used Passoa as an aphrodesiac which sure enough spawned a great deal more Samoans and led to a rather nasty incident over the right honorable Captain Abel Janszoon and an increasingly large amount of his illegitimate children. The issue was resolved in the fairly straightforward and civilized Samoan method by killing and eating the right honorable Captain Abel Janszoon. Thus the matter was settled and everyone got to put it behind them (excepting of course anyone killed and eaten).



Passoa was brought back to the Netherlands by the first mate and it was a huge hit with the dutch. It is believed that the introduction of Passoa into the Netherlands is directly related to the growth of the porn industry around the same time period. Years later, it became evident that while the Passoa was fantastic for increasing the libido and especially in men, "Not tonight love, I've got a headache," became a frequent response to all of these horny dutch men by wives and girlfriends and a national council of science was founded in order to address the issue. After plenty of research, and years of archeology in Fiji looking for a solution, noted occult professor Vertraging van Verliezer provided the solution. By combining vodka and the Passoa, while writing the word headache backwards or speaking the word headache backwards (eekadahay) and spinning in a circle twice...the headache would disappear. So well did this work that the aphrodesiac qualities of the Passoa / Vodka mix were nearly forgotten. Everyone began using the new potion as a cure for the common headache (with the normal side effect that everyone would wind up having sex afterward). The recipe was lost decades ago when the dutch decided to do away with such nonsense and moved along to aspirin with the rest of the civilized world.



So again...our recipe calls for Passoa Liqueur and vodka in equal parts in a shot glass. The patient turns in a circle twice while slowly saying the words "eeeeekaaaadaaaahaaaay" once. Then you drink the shot and your headache should almost immediately disappear.



Side Effects:

Ok so it must be stated that Passoa still contains some rather aphrodesiac qualities. It's not so much of a burden if one gets around that however, given it's nature, and it's rather strong affects, it is highly recommended that this potion NOT be used in certain circumstances including: Dinners with your in-laws or your boss, at work, at court and of course in jail. In fact, it might be best for all considered if this potion was taken only in the company of someone who you know will respond positively when you start trying to suck on their toes or nibble on their ear. That being said, this is still a great cure for a headache and my staff is once again free to work on my more lofty endeavors like hair restoration or wedding ring dissolution.