The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

[ mood | calm. ]

[ music | Simon and Garfunkel...the sound of silence. ]



wow...my night last night was incredible!...holy shit. I tried Meth for he first time last night... I will never do it again. and the reason why I did Meth is because I wanted to know what it did and what it felt like that Randy did it until he overdosed. Meth is an incredible feeling. Too incredible. That's why it's dangerous and that's why I'll never do it again. I also was stoned on this type of pot called "Kind"...It literly has dust on it and the dust is pure THC...fuck I was knocked on my ass by them both...I couldn't move.

[ music | Slipknot...wait and bleed. ]



My night last night was definetly something. I got a call from Liz she was crying. She kept telling me that she missed me and the reason that she didn't call is because she couldn't find my phone number. But She tolled me that she and the chick I was trying to hook up with were both trying to get a hold of me. They both had called me. I ended up going over to Liz's house and picking her up. We stayed at her house for about 2 hours. Now my Father still has not given me the pot he owes me and usually I wouldn't be so up and up about it but he tolled me that when he went and bought his pot that he would put what he owed me underneith me seat in my Truck well it's not there. So when I was over at Liz's her sister called Rachel(different one) and she came over and got us baked. We were all siting in the car getting stoned. It was quiet amsuing. We had the music cranked and we were sitting in this little car on the side of a dark road..wow that's not suspicouse(however the fuck it's spelled) at all. So we all get into the music Ashely and I are dancing in our seat. Liz is doing a strange little head bop thingy. Sudenly out of nowhere Ashley metions the irony of possibly seeing a cop car go past. We ALL freak out thinking that were was one. So Rachel tells her to shut up and not to jinx us and right after she said that there goes a cop car. Doesn't stop.. but god damn everyone of us needed to take another hit. So we went back to my house and after school I get to come home to my girlfriend. It's a nice feeling. Knowing that you're coming home and someone is waiting for you. Makes me smile a bit. Makes me worry about her. Right now I acually just got back from a debate with my Principle, the councolur, and my history teacher. That went well. Every fucking thing is hitting me at once. thanks man. There are still so many things that haven't been said and it's been driving me fucking insain...many many different things. Things dealing with Nicole, my Mother, Father, other friends. Stuff that I would like to talk about sometimes. But never the opportunity. or the other people don't give a rats ass when most of the issues are tearing me apart. That's another reason why I need to go into the Army I need to get away. There is no one, NO one that I feel comfortable talking to and even the ones I want to talk to don't give a rats ass about it. even when it's something that needs to be done something that needs to be delt with. YES THERE ARE THINGS THAT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT WITH PRACTICALLY EVERYONE!! I just need a chance and I need those people to talk about it with me willingly! As for last night this is what's going wrong. My grandfather is in the hospital. I found out that he might not have made it through and he was in the hospital for already 3 weeks. He WILL NOW be coming out in about 2 more weeks possibly...so yes there is a good side to it. As for the issue about my girlfriend. She has cancer. She is getting surgery yes but the surgery will cut off her capability to have children....another thing...Liz's father is in the Army so the Army is giving them a Free move...there moving to Florida....I find out she has cancer and she's moving to Florida in one night.



Please just talk to me..



I read this in History. It's the ending sentances explaining what happened to a Holocoast victim.



"After they were captured, Adela, her mother, and her brother were shot and dumped into a mass grave."



As I see it our world today is no better than it was back then...we just didn't voice things then.

[ mood | I'm flying mother fuckers. ]

[ music | Bob Marley...Roots. Rock. Reggae. ]



This weekend kicked ass. My Father, step Mother, and myself all went bar hopping. It was awsume. I was talking and bonding with both of them. And it made me feel so much better! We talked about a lot of things that have been completly ignored for years. It was so fun. We played darts at the origonal B and B's bar in Haily. (however that spelling goes) I had about 9 YaggerBoms total and 2 other drinks that had Vodka and Lemonade. It was really good. We ended the night because I got sick in the bathroom. I had made the mistake of havign a couple ciggerettes that Jean had offered me. I don't usually smoke ciggerettes anymore so they gave me a really huge buzz. I can usually hold my liquor really well but the cig did me in. My bed is still pissing me off. I've tried 4 different water pump systems and I could get not one of them to work. Anyways. My weekend was still great.





Oh something funny I have to share... Now my sister, Autumn and I last week had a conversation that just floored me.



Now for you all to put into places my sister yes I will say is a complete wuss, loves sappy movies, and horses...this is what she said to me despite it.



Autumn: *she takes my brother's hat and places it crooked on my head* "Dude! That's looks really funky on you. You should look at it in a mirror"



Me: What? *goes to mirror and looks*



Autumn: "Dude man you look like a Homie!"



Me: *places hat on her head*



Autumn:"Yeah man, I'm a homie! WASSUP G?!"

Well my weekend so far. Actually it all started on Friday when I got all my shit kicked out of the art room because there changing from Sculptures and painting to ceramics and metals. Well I'm in both of those classes and my art instructor forgot that I was in there and locked her door before I could remind her that I'm in the class so I could put my stuff back in. So I'm sitting in my last block with 6 paintings three large bags of different type of paint all my paintbrushes and no where to put them and I couldn't carry it all home. So I had to ask a friend for a ride home. I fucking hate doing that with a passion. So after work I was suppose to go over to Jenna's house with a bunch of other people to figure out what our senior pranks are going to be. I call up Jenna's cell to get the adress because she just moved and I didn't know where she lived anymore. And of all people I get Rachel answering the phone. Now I can't stand Rachel. She's a fucking control freak, she's Bipolar and doesn't take any meds. So yeah she can be funny but she goes way to far and doesn't know when to stop until she pisses everyone off. Then she doesn't understand why everyone is mad at her. So I get into a mini fight with her while I'm trying to ask if Tiffany is there to talk to. Just a note: Jenna wasn't there at the time. AS Soon as Tiffany gets on the phone with me she starts bitching me out as to why Rachel and I weren't getting along. I tolled her that "there are people that I just don't like and Rachel is one of them but I could get along with her just for the night" Well Tiffany starts bitching some more and then tells me to hang on. So I'm on for 5 minutes because I'm already pissed and my patience is low. I call back and they've shut the cell off. I call up Tiffany's cell phone and her's has also been turned off. So that just fucking lite up my life. And now for what's been happening today. I find out that my best friend, Sami was rapped last night and was in the hospital until early this morning. She tried calling and I was sleeping, She tried calling me again when I was at work. I felt like an ass. So I saw her tonight. Her and Shawn had just broken up the night before and we were supposed to meet him, his ex wife and his mother out in Fall Creek. So we go down there. Well before we leave I tell her that I'm driving because she's bawling about what happened again, you can barely see out the windsheild, and she's pregnate and her belly would get in the way a bit. I turn on the lights for the spedometer and shit on and Sami tolled me that the headlights came on too. Because most cars do. I thought I could see it but wasn't sure. So I go driving we just get into Fall Creak when Shawn's ex wife tells us that Shawn doesn't want to talk to Sami nor see her anymore. So we stop into a gas station to find out that the hell is going on. For one shawn can't do that he's too much involved with Sami to do that. He spent the night at Sami's house everynight for 3 months and then the night before he dumps her to go back to his ex. He's only going back to his ex because he wants to see his kids when there is another way of seeing them. (shawn is only 23 years) Sami is going to have a baby and Shawn had still promised her when they broke up that he still wanted to be in the dilivery room. He had been the closed thing to a Father figure that Sami's first child, Chloe, (only 1 year old) had ever had. He took on so much responsibility with her. Sami feed him because he quit his job last week. Payed for gas. They went out to eat. Sami payed. I never thought that he'd do that. Never. He doesn't seem like the type of person who would. But back to the car. and being at the gas station. We had just pulled out to the road turned right and I have a fucking cop flashing his lights at me. I stop. I have no driver's licence with me, this isn't my vehicle. It goes back to the lights problem. I didn't have my headlights on when Sami tolled me they were. She even went out and checked them. What she say were the red turning lights and the lights when I'm stepping on the break. So I fucking got a ticket for $148. I was...am Pissed. Can anything else go wrong. tonight. I have one friend who pisses me off. Yes one friend apparently since everyone else is too busy to call or tell me what the fucks going on (going on from the whole Tiffany, Rachel, and Jenna thing) So yes I will just keep my one friend, Sami, go to my Father's house every weekend and get high. When I kinda wanna stop. And it scares me that everytime I see my Father I can only picture things like him dying and seeing him in the funeral bed. He was crying the other day. I asked him what's wrong he tells me that I need to meet someone in a picture. Someone I've never met before. I think it's his Mother. And just last night he was crying because he went a high school reunion and brought Hunter and he had a name tag that was just a sticker thing and it was folded in half and he was trying to get it open without tearing it. He tolled me it hurts. I think it's his Mother. I think he graduaded the year his mother died. Then again that's only a think. But everytime at least 5 times in one night while we're both high, I can only think about how the way he looks scares me. How skiny he is. How boney he his. He looks like he's wasting away. I don't know what I'd do if he passed away. God damn I make myself paranoid. On a slightly lighter note. My car is fixed and it was only $40.