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Current mood: I defy you.





So last night in my dream I smacked my mother. And I dont mean just little smack. I bitched slapped her and it felt great. Then I wok up.







Either way the end of the school year is coming up. Well it wouldnt seem like to big of a deal but Im graduating. It hasnt really kicked in yet and I still cant wait to head into the army. Im a bit worried because of my girlfriend. I really like her and though I may not be the one for her I still dont want to lose her. Especially from going into the army. Ill be gone for 3 years and maybe Ill be able to come back on holidays but other than that Ill probably be in Iraq. I signed up for an 8 year contract and 3 of those years Ill be spending in active duty. So basically Ill probably be in Iraq since Im part of the first person they take in. But I really want to be there. I felt like I had lost her when we departed almost 3 years ago in Green Bay. I found her again and I had no intention in saying good-bye. Call me selfish I dont care. She means so much to me. I still have not stopped liking her since I met her. At the same time I dont want to ask her to wait up for me. She does by the way have a boyfriend and they were together before she met me for the second time. She loves her boyfriend so much and from what I can comprehend shes not going to leave him and wishes to stay with him for as long as possible. As much as I like her I with them the best of luck. I know that there are some needs that I cant fill for her. As for me I dont know what I need to fill me. She fills me as much as anyone Ive ever met. Yes even Nicole. With her the only thing that kept whatever we had there was sex and most of it was on my part because she was easy. Very easy. I mean 5 times a night sometimes! Come on get real. Thats all I wanted from her and thats what I got. Basically you could say I used her. Do I feel bad?....no, not really. She deserved it for the emotional pull she was playing on me. But shes done, over with, and used. Yes Chris you got used property. *sticks out tongue* lol. Well enough of that. I think this blog is done. Yes indeed.







She was a good kisser.







what am I listening to....Sublime and Bob Marley