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Cigarettes and Whiskey and Wild, Wild Women…



So… 43 hours, $300 and 1400 kilometres later (or 870 Miles) I have returned home safe and sound from a spur of the moment road trip to the megalopolitan wilds of Philadelphia.

I left the environs of St. Catharines at approximately 7:30 a.m. endured the usual slow process of crossing the Canada/U.S. border once safely embarked southbound on I-80, I called cpl_slaphead to enquire after the appropriate exit to take to get to Smokin’Joe’s outlet in Hallstead PA (exit 230 on I-81), the conversation started as follows; me: “Hey Dave how’re you doing?”

Dave: “Hey buddy, I’m good, what’re you doing?”

Me: “I’m south bound on I-81…”

Dave: “I hate you…”

Me: * with love in my voice * “I love you too Dave” * then singing * “Can you feel the hate tonight” shortly thereafter I had to exit the highway because of closures due to an accident. Dave gave me directions over the phone since his North American Road Atlas was at hand and mine was hiding somewhere at home (I still don’t know where the blaggard is) as to how to detour around and get back on the highway faster. Ere he rang off; he asked that I give everyone hugs for him. Sorry alerelf, I forgot yours.

So off I get at exit 230, in time to see that there is another clusterfuck on the southbound lanes of the I-81 and after purchasing a carton of Nat Sherman’s (100% Additive Free Cigarettes) I get frankly confusing information as to how to proceed south around the fuss and bother, so I went into the service station beside Smokin’ Joe’s and purchased a Pennsylvania State Road Map and got around that contentious procrastination of automobilisation. I arrived at the residence of dreamingbear at approximately 16:30 p.m. and got to meet the kids, (Her cats). Snugglyevil arrived shortly thereafter and after some deliberation we went off to Sansobel’s place to catch the tail end of her son’s 2nd birthday party and hang out with some friends (brazenarticle, bearassed, divrgrl8, eajanette, and Yosef) I haven’t seen in ages and meet some new ones (whose names now all elude me… I am a bad bear). I gave out hugs not only from cpl_slaphead but from myself as well and after about an hour or so, we made our farewells and headed into Philadelphia Proper, meeting up with bearon68 and gullinbursti at Moriarity’s (a fun Irish Restaurant/Bar but it needs more Celtic music… just my biased opinion) and then moseyed on over to the Bike Stop where I was called upon to regale the ladies with the tale of my previous visit there.

After some drinks, several amusing stories and anecdotes and commentaries on the action both in the bar and on the screen of the bar’s TVs we retired back to dreamingbear’s abode where she livened up, while snugglyevil and I started falling asleep whilst cuddling. After snugglyevil left, dreamingbear and I chatted for a while until approximately 3 a.m. and we both retired, she to her room and I to the futon couch.

12:30 found me finally rising at dreamingbear’s greeting.

We slowly roused ourselves and then set off for alerelf’s place for her barbeque. We arrived approximately 15:00-ish and met her family and friends and had some food, fun and conversation as well as a tour of the residence.

Sometime after 17:00 dreamingbear and I both made our farewells and I headed back to the wilds of Canuckistan. After passing through the Lehigh Tunnel, either the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania was loath to see me go and cried its skies out or a small Noachide flood was sent my way to… I don’t know… test my driving skills? While other motorists were pulling over to the side of the road while grey whales and shoals of fish negotiated the deluge, I was passing them at anywhere from 40 to 60 kmph (25 to 40 mph). The rain followed me all the way in varying degrees of intensity to Syracuse where it finally gave up and let me wander west along the I-90.

Despite my instincts to stay on the highway once I was on the I-190 headed for Lewiston, I got off shortly before my border crossing looking for somewhere to stop, read the map I had picked up at one of the service centres on the I-90 and see where I had made the error in not getting the right road to the Queenston/Lewiston border crossing.

Failing to find what I was looking for, I proceeded onto what I suspected was the Niagara Falls Border Crossing (not that I’ve anything against the Niagara Crossing, I just figured the Q/L would be quicker) only to find that I was on the right road all along (the lesson here boys and girls, trust your instincts!) where I stopped at the Duty Free and purchased a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey for $20; mostly because I couldn’t remember which brands of Scotch I had at home, I knew I had a bottle of 12 year old Glenfiddich, and was pretty sure I had a bottle of 12 year old The Glenlivet, and definitely certain I had a bottle of 15 year old Dalwhinnie, but couldn’t be certain what the fourth bottle was (14 year old Oban), besides a bottle of Jameson is a nice addition to the collection, I’m enjoying a wee tot of it as I write this horrid piece of alliterative doggerel.

I crossed the bridge, riding the brake so as to not exceed the posted speed of 15 mph and was processed by Canada Customs, who asked me to pull over and searched my vehicle, I suppose because I’d been out of the country for less than 48 hours and might have been smuggling in guns or money (and I guess you only get Lawyers if it’s a Warren Zevon Song) unless the items they didn’t ask me about was what they were looking for (Drugs or Immigrants of an illegal nature) the upshot was I sat where they indicated, answered their questions and was on my way in about 5 minutes. Ho hum. Nothing to hide nothing to fear… I know… I’m so boring.

So that was my weekend, I bought cigarettes and whiskey and got to hug lots of ‘wild wild’ women… funny I don’t feel all that crazy or insane… but then… snugglyevil did keep saying I was insane for driving all the way down there on a whim… so maybe I’m already crazy and insane… * shrugs * like anyone would notice * grin *

COMMENTS

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xxEmaeraldxx
22:49 Jul 14 2008

Addictive free cigarettes, a celtic bar, and wild, wild woman...well what has Bear been up too! hah

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