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Not sure if I have mentioned it before, but hey lets mention it again. My 2016 has been filled with heartbreak and things falling apart in front of me. I didn't understand the reason, but I kept trying to believe there was a reason for everything. I lost myself for a good chunk of the year. I drank when I could, I over worked myself, which mind you I almost lost my sanity over a company that could give two shits about me. I lost all care for myself and could care less what happened to me. I started to think what if my kids were better off without me in their lives, what if it is me that will hold them back from their true potential and future only because I couldn't do enough to provide for them... I could go on with my thoughts, but as I said 2016 has broken my heart and made me feel like I have lost everything in only 11 months....








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Now that 2016 is coming to an end I have to leave those thoughts behind me and build myself, my mind, my future not only for me and my future, but for their future. They say once you hit rock bottom the only way now is up, and I have currently lived my nightmare and for me this seems to be my rock bottom. I have talked to many people that know me a bit better and talked me out of my thoughts of negativity, but it is now time to live it. Connected with my past a bit and has made me feel like me again.

It is crazy how much a rose can make some wounds feel at ease.

SO cheers to 2017 & may we drink 2016 away and rebuild what has been broken in the new year.



Love to you and yours

A little rant to happen...

Why the f*ck not, right!



Well a lot has happened this year that has been tryin at my character and all around sanity.

Why is finding someone suitable as a partner so difficult?

Why must the honeymoon phase end?

Why feel like you should settle when life is short?

.......



I try to live this adult life the way society approves it to be, but I don't want to.

I should be ok with having anime and band shirts as apart of my wardrobe and not just "business casual" attire.

Being a single mother of two alone holds a standard that should be "shameful", but why. Why is this a thing.

I feel like these days it is apart of the normal to be a single parent and you know what that is ok..

There is some people who turn out to be pshyco and had two parents that pretended to be happy and not kill each other (not saying that is always the case just saying)

As long as the kids are happy and healthy why should I be ashamed of finding me again.

I try to help and make others happy at the expense of mine, but when I need that kindness returned to me just to be there no one is there to return it.

Is it in he human nature to just take and not give?

To use and toss aside as if they don't matter?

2016 has been a bitch... Just have to learn to be the bigger one!

COMMENTS

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SimpleMan
06:47 Dec 20 2016

Hang in there.

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DarkAmaris
04:33 Dec 23 2016

I will do the best I can. Thank you hun.

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