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I tried, once again, to dream with my beloved cat Julius one afternoon, and I was startled by the dream.



In the dream, Julius and I were playing with a string. I do not recall the color, but I remember it was about late afternoon. It was just a good time. And then, all of a sudden, everything changed drastically. It was night, and Julius was very ill. I was holding him in my arms and we were sitting outside on the backyard deck steps. His breathing was very labored. I could hear in the background my parents talking to the local vet about it and overhearing that there was nothing we could and Julius was going to die. I remember as I felt him shudder, I was singing to him lullabies that I sung to him when he was but a small kitten. I looked into his eyes and Julius forced out a small cry. Oddly enough, I understood him, although I do not recall what he said. Then he left. I could feel his life leaving from my hands with nothing I could do about it. I just held what was left of Julius in my arms and cried hysterically until I started screaming. I really remember the blue of it all.



When I awoke next to my cat, I was crying. When I looked into his eyes, I could see the tears reflecting out of them. This dream I have the feeling is one of two things: how julius will die or how he simply wants to die- in my arms. I don't know if I will know.

COMMENTS

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Angelus
00:22 Mar 25 2008

.. perhaps it just suggests something more simple, like a fear of letting go?

..or, it illustrates, how much you dislike losing that which is precious to you??



(I used to read dreams.)

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