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Smartass Movie Trivia Question: What movie does my kismet come from?

Having sciatica sucks the life right out of you sometimes. :(

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deathnitegrl
17:32 Nov 28 2009

I agree I have it too.

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BLOODLIFE
21:39 Nov 28 2009

Hope it doesn't last too long :-s

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madamefate
02:43 Nov 29 2009

is it vampiric

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Isis101
03:32 Nov 30 2009

Aaaah...get better soon!

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Theban
11:44 Dec 10 2009

I have it...three blown discs and sciatica...nothing like a nice bit of pain mixed with a small helping of Morphine...hey presto...what pain..



Hope it goes away for you soon!...or has gone lol!

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OK, VR, are you ready for this? While I was grocery shopping tonight I found something I seriously never thought I would ever see. I was in the cheese section pondering something to got with my wheat thins, when I looked into the cheese case and saw.....Fudge Cheese.



Yes. You read that right.



When someone says Fudge Cheese, it sounds like it might be vaguely related to poop or farts..but apparently someone found a way to combine cheese and chocolate. Dammit, I HAD to buy it, just to see what the hell it was.



I just whacked off a hunk for a taste. There really is no cheese taste at all, it tastes just like regular fudge with walnuts, except that it is really really smooth. Almost spreadable. It's actually good!



Just the name...Fudge Cheese. OY. Never thought I'd live to see the day.

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PandorasBx
05:23 Nov 28 2009

I've heard of it but never was brave enough to taste it, I wonder what the point is of "cheese chocolate" ya know...

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CarnelianMyst
17:25 Nov 28 2009

It's the sort of thing that frat guys do when they get drunk..mix various foodstuffs to see what they taste like. "Hey dude...let's mix fudge and cheese..that'll be the bomb diggity!"



Luckily, this actually tastes good.

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deathnitegrl
17:32 Nov 28 2009

Once I saw one named:



Adam Balls.

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madamefate
02:43 Nov 29 2009

O_O

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Theban
11:46 Dec 10 2009

Omg...what ever next! *coughs* must stop thinking....

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Sitting here thinking of Thanksgivings past while watching all the holiday programming. For years I spent Thanksgiving with a friend of mine around the same age as me, whose kids had grown and moved away. She was alone too so we would get together and spend the day. I would chip in money towards the feast, and bring some stuff, but she would do the major cooking.



There was always a turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls, and at least 3 types of pie. She would insist on doing it all.."just bring yourself" she would tell me. She loved cooking for a crowd and I loved to eat like one (shush lol) so we had a good time.



After eating and getting everything sorted we would usually play cards or watch some old movie. One year we got into her stash of wine coolers and I got rather plotched, way too drunk to drive home, so she put me up in her guest room for the night.



Her toy poodle decided he wanted to sleep with me so he burrowed under the covers down to my feet. Every time I moved my feet he would growl, and I ended up pulling him out and putting him on top of my covers. He retaliated by having a world-class case of the farts....ALL NIGHT LONG. I woke up once during the night and thought something had died in a corner someplace...gahh the smell. If a small dog could make such a stench, I trembled to think what a big dog could do.



My friend thought it was hilarious.



Where is that friend now? Well, she decided to get back with her ex husband, and has all the kids round to her new place. I don't get invited anymore.



It's all good though. At least I don't have to smell poodle farts anymore.



Happy turkey day.

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madamefate
01:16 Nov 27 2009

theban smells like a poodle fart!

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CarnelianMyst
01:17 Nov 27 2009

Let's dip him in ranch dressing too!

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PandorasBx
02:32 Nov 27 2009

Sadly some friends tend to forget about their single friends once they have a sweetie :(

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chrysanthemia
02:50 Nov 28 2009

"She loved cooking for a crowd and I loved to eat like one"



Hah, that's so cute. smiles.

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I have looked all through that peopleofwalmart website, and the only photo I can find from my home state of Wisconsin shows a lady with about 40 bags of Tidy Cat in her cart.



I guess that's not too bad, considering some of the other photos on there. Apparently a lot of people in West Virginia and Tennessee don't wear underwear when they go shopping, lol...honestly the worst I've seen on a shopping trip was someone in what looked like pajama bottoms.



Now I must admit, I've been caught a couple times in some questionable outfits..but it has been right here in my apartment building. We have a trash room on each floor, and sometimes late at night I will take a bag of garbage down the hall, when I am in my comfy snuggies..usually barefoot, no makeup and hair sticking up. Once in awhile, I meet someone coming out of the trash room, and I get some odd looks. But at least my ass isn't hanging out, and I'm wearing a bra...everything is covered up. Hell, I don't wanna see myself naked, so I wouldn't think anyone else would want to either!

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MasterMindedFate
01:49 Nov 26 2009

i hate walmart but damn that sites funny lol

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Isis101
02:52 Nov 26 2009

I recall that site...I couldn't stop laughing!

(I don't think you'll be scary enough to merit a place on that particular 'wall of fame', hon).

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PandorasBx
02:31 Nov 27 2009

I hear that they use kitty litter to make meth......either thats what shes up to or animal control needs to stop by her house lol.

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deathnitegrl
17:34 Nov 28 2009

Lol my country still wins for the weirdos!

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Someone's journal:



"um, i have a lot of promplems."



Yeah boy howdy, you sure do. Spelling heads the list!

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birra
01:39 Nov 24 2009

I doubt spelling even scratches the surface, really.

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madamefate
04:33 Nov 24 2009

When you have problems you don't need spell check! GEEZ! Didn't you get the memo?

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Anyone got a good recipe for bourbon balls, or rum balls? They are little round chocolate candy balls you make where you add booze, with various other things. I just have a craving for some of those little devils!

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Theban
11:47 Dec 10 2009

No comment ^^

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Oh feck. Oprah is ending her show in 2011.



Geez. Maybe some people can get a life now.

Seriously though...a lot of people do watch her, I am one, but I am not going to shell out more bucks to upgrade my cable just so I can get her new network. The economy is still in the toilet, people are scraping by, and a lot of them are Oprah viewers. They won't be watching her when she switches to her own network programming.



Wonder what it's like to own your own network?

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Idiosyncrasy
05:07 Nov 22 2009

Yay!! Down with Oprah!! I don't respect anyone who makes sure everyone knows how much charity work they have done. Doing good deeds isn't supposed to be so you can reap the rewards.

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Isis101
02:54 Nov 26 2009

Ask Ted Turner.

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I haven't seen this particular website mentioned on here. Or maybe everyone knows about it and is keeping it a secret? lol..anyway, if you want a good howl, check out peopleofwalmart.com.



It's photos of Wal-Mart shoppers, I don't know how those photos were taken, but they are doozys.I have never seen anything like them at my local Wal-Mart, but then I don't go in there a lot. Maybe they all come out at the full moon or something. Sweet mother of effing god, do people actually go shopping dressed in "I wanna fuck a corpse" t-shirts?



VR is my favorite website, but when the goth thing starts to get a bit too dark, check out the walmart pics, and have a nice day. :)

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LadyDarkRayne
02:29 Nov 21 2009

omg I have seen some of those pics before and are they ever scary lol good laughs but scary that people actually go out in public dressed like that lol

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DireConsequences
03:23 Nov 21 2009

I've actually seen people go to our Wal-mart dressed like that!



I must say I probably have been dressed like that too... *hides* Especially when I went to Wal-mart dressed in an inflatable cow costume!



At least I won the Farm Day contest for Spirit Week?

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chrysanthemia
06:40 Nov 21 2009

This stuff is absolutely hilarious. Oh my goodness. Priceless!

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birra
02:16 Nov 22 2009

Hilarious and frightening. Horribly frightening and it reinforces why I don't shop there.

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vamplove13
01:24 Nov 23 2009

I can tell you as an ex-employee of walmart I can say that this is an everyday event! Ever want a good laugh just go to walmart and people watch!:)

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Somebody's journal:



"This is the world I believe will except me."



Yup, it sure will, if you keep on spelling "accept" like that.



SPELLCHECK DAMMIT!!!

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chrysanthemia
15:40 Nov 22 2009

Actually spellcheck won't pick that up--it is spelled correctly. You just have to rely on your own grammar skills to differntiate between homonyms.



The mistake is funny though. Made me giggle.

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chrysanthemia
15:41 Nov 22 2009

Actually spellcheck won't pick that up--it is spelled correctly. You just have to rely on your own grammar skills to differntiate between homonyms.



The mistake is funny though. Made me giggle.

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Theban
11:51 Dec 10 2009

I have issues with spelling....I was told the Americans do as well...they still spell colour the wrong way *chuckles*

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When I got in the lobby of my apartment building tonight, there was a sign-up sheet by the elevator for people who want to join in the building's Thanksgiving dinner next week. You bring a dish to pass, and write down on the sheet what you are bringing. The building owner supplies the turkey.



There were various listings for cranberry sauce, muffins, stuffing, green bean casserole....then towards the bottom of the list someone wrote "creamed corn."



Immediately underneath that, someone else wrote: "NO! NOT THAT HORRIBLE SHIT! I HATE CREAMED CORN!"



That was my laugh for the day. I hate creamed corn too!

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atyourwindow
01:01 Nov 20 2009

what evil bastid thought creamed corn was a good idea anyways? lol

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birra
01:26 Nov 20 2009

I was going to say something eluding to something pretty disgusting, but I'll refrain...

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madamefate
01:45 Nov 20 2009

mmmmmmm creamed corn!!!! It's great with ranch!

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CarnelianMyst
01:52 Nov 20 2009

Creamed corn....the devil's aphrodisiac, lol.

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BLOODLIFE
08:52 Nov 20 2009

I have no idea what cream corn is ... but isn't it about the act .. rather like xmas?!!!

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I don't have a whole lot of warm, fuzzy Hallmark card memories of the holidays. Most of the Christmas ones are pretty tainted by the memory of what I can only describe as shit gifts. You know those...the ones you get that absolutely boggle the imagination, are not your size, style or taste, outrageously cheap, or some other variation.



Now, I know, the true meaning of Christmas goes way beyond presents. So, I will attempt to make this funny and describe just a few of the godawful shitgifts that filtered my way on holidays.



My brother was the king of shitgifts. It started the Christmas I was 11. I had a massively huge crush on David Cassidy, and I SO wanted an album of his for Christmas. My brother gave me...a 45 rpm single. WTF? Who DOES that?



A Christmas or two later, and he decides to give me clothes. Not knowing my size or taste, he gave me a UW hoodie, hat and sweater. They looked lovely..and were way too small. I couldn't even get the hoodie over my head. My brother announced that he had cut the tags off and threw away the receipt so I had to keep them! I ended up giving them to a friend.



Exasperated, my mother suggested I write down the names of some books, movies, or records that I wanted at Christmas time. She would divide the list with my brother. El cheapo shitgift man would scour his OWN books, records and movies, and if he had any that I asked for, he would give them to me. Many a year I got second hand VHS movies, some he never even bothered to rewind! Instead of actually buying me an album, he would record music off the radio...yes kids, he really did.



As I got older, the shitgifts just went on. Knowing he loved the Wizard of Oz, I saved my pennies one Christmas and bought him a set of really nice porcelain figurines of the main characters. My gift? Six hours of sports bloopers, taped off ESPN!



Both my mother and I got shafted one Christmas, after he arrived and we had all our gifts to him under the tree. He announced he had no money to buy us anything since he spent a great deal of money on jewelry for his girlfriend!



My parents and grandmother were always very generous with gifts, and I with them, and I never ever attempted "payback" by giving my brother a crappy gift. I assumed I ruined his life completely by arriving and usurping his role as an only child, and he had been trying to even it out the only way he was able to. Birthdays were no big deal, he never acknowledged mine. Christmas was always strange and unsettling.



My mother passed away in 1997, and my brother has been out of my life since then. Perhaps he found someone else to give shitgifts to. Since I don't have anyone to buy for anymore, I give a lot of money to charities on the holidays. That way, I know it will go to good use, and no one will get a shit gift.



Tidings of comfort and joy to you all!

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Nightgame
01:58 Nov 18 2009

OMG I have a brother almost that bad. LOL I'll never forget the year he came in without a single gift for our Mom (we'd stopped exchanging them years earlier) but he and she still did so but that year he came in showing off the 5000 dollar jewelry he'd gotten his girlfriend. I truly suspect he later returned that on her too.

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BLOODLIFE
08:50 Nov 18 2009

Awww hun ... you did good! x

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Isis101
03:01 Nov 19 2009

I couldn't stop laughing at this...you really were screwed over by your brother...I would've asked him not to even bother buying gifts for me (I actually had to tell my youngest sister that ages ago...her gifts sucked too - a waste of money...I mean, pennies).

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This is my absolute favorite ob-gyn joke.



A woman calls to schedule her office appointment, and the nurse tells her the regular doctor is away on vacation, but his associate will do the check-up. "Don't worry, he's wonderful, you will love him," she tells the lady.



So the lady makes an appointment and on the day, she finds the associate to be professional and charming, answered all her questions and put her at ease. As she laid back and put her feet in the stirrups for the internal exam, the doctor told her, "Just one thing. When I do this, I always numb my patients.'



The woman was surprised. "The other doctor doesn't do that," she told him.



"It's just something I do. Won't take a second." And he leans over closer and goes "MMMMM....num num num num!"





Ok...you can all say "OMFG" now. :D

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madamefate
04:12 Nov 12 2009

wow!

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Sinora
09:57 Nov 12 2009

Omfg....

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BLOODLIFE
21:59 Nov 12 2009

Gotta luv the oldies .. hehe

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markus666
17:45 Nov 14 2009

Very funny, my lady. How do you know that I like to do that?...LOL

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Isis101
03:03 Nov 19 2009

I don't know what to say...which is rare for me! LMAO!!!

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I'm sending a big public THANK YOU to PsiVampire for spiffing up my avatar. He did that all on his own, with no begging whatsoever from me.



I think it's fabulous, as are all of his creations!



Thanks again. There are some really nice people on here!

Thread in the Sandbox:



A-Z of Gothic Appairal, and Accerories







Well....at least they spelled Gothic right.

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madamefate
18:08 Nov 08 2009

I'm trying to decipher that last word! *bangs head on desk*

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BLOODLIFE
21:29 Nov 08 2009

Maybe it's Gothic English :-s

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airwitch08
18:33 Nov 09 2009

Hmm....look at who posted this thread. XD

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markus666
17:46 Nov 14 2009

"bangs head on desk" Ahh, those poor brain. mean just that bangs head on desk. LOL

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I will be interested to see how this whole Health Insurance Bill pans out. The bit about americans being required to have insurance is a stickler to me and I think many many other people. How can they expect people to get health insurance who are trying desperately to make ends meet now?



My current employer does not provide health insurance, because it is a very small company and is not required to do so. My bosses offered to put me on their insurance, but after I saw the paperwork I nearly passed out. It would have cost me over $500 a month!



I worked for another larger company a few years ago. They did provide health insurance, but I was not able to take it, also due to the high cost. Being a single person, they would have taken over $80 each week out of my paycheck, and I couldn't possibly have paid rent, car payment, gas, buy groceries, etc. on what was left.



I see that through this Health Bill, federal subsidies will be provided to help people get insurance who cannot afford it. And how are the subsidies funded? More taxes. Another bite out of the wallet that is getting increasingly smaller.



I think the system is beyond repair. I haven't had insurance for years and have had to manage my own health care, mostly by taking care of myself, eating better, getting exercise and trying to cut down on stress. But, as I see those "golden years" appearing ever closer on the horizon (gimme that cane, willya?) it makes me wonder what is in store for the future.

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Isis101
21:14 Nov 09 2009

Amen! I'm not sure where I'm headed with healthcare myself. I lost good coverage when I got laid off. (Right when I was about to get some dental work done - aarrgghh)! I could have gotten extended coverage for 6 months, but it cost to much to get it.

Of course, now that I don't have medical coverage, I get major stomach problems. Sure - I'n glad I lost 30 lbs, but this is not the way to go about it!

What is in store for us?

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CarnelianMyst
23:15 Nov 09 2009

Hey Isis...wanna get married? Married couples get great insurance benefits...lol heh heh.

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Isis101
03:07 Nov 19 2009

We can do that right here in San Francisco...!

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I was waiting on the principal of one of our grade schools today. As he dropped his clothes off, a bunch of little papers fell out of his coat pocket. I scooped them up, they were all glittery and cute, so I asked what they were.



"Oh," he said,"those are little things we give the kids when they do a good job on something. It's stickers, little puzzles and so on."



I picked up one paper. It said "Congradulations, you did a good job today!" another bit attached to a puzzle said "show this to your Mom's and Dad's so they can help you.' A third paper said "YOUR GREAT!"



Um...anyone see the problem here?



I held them out to the principal." Sir, these all have spelling and grammar errors in them," I said.



He rolled his eyes. "Oh lord, not a grammar nazi," he said. "The idea is to reward the kids for a job well done. We don't stress the little things. They know what we mean."



Damn. If I had kids in that school I would pull them out! When the administration doesn't see the problem with spelling and grammar mistakes, then it's a sad sad day for education. What the hell? No wonder so many people on here can't spell, and continually post things like "your wrong" and "congrads."



ACK! ACK! ACK!



I had to vent. That's one of my pet peeves. Sheesh.

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HAWK2K
01:02 Nov 06 2009

if it was a joke:



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



:: stops to breathe ::



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA







if it wasn't a joke:



:: weeps for the future of our children and is considering home-schooling my future children ::

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madamefate
02:50 Nov 06 2009

ther is nuffin wrang wiff purfect gammar ! I lerned thiss in skool!!

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atyourwindow
08:00 Nov 06 2009

werd

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Isis101
22:06 Nov 07 2009

This guy is definetely on the wrong path...reading, writing, and 'rithmatic' indeed...

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Theban
12:03 Dec 10 2009

OMG...



My Grammar is worse than my spelling, I didn't go to school much after 13.



So you will, as you may of noticed, see mistakes with my writing...Bah!! bloody grammar Nazi lol

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I was chatting with someone from the UK on yahoo and they used an expression I hadn't heard in ages.



"I've got rumbletums."



Isn't that great? I love that. Instead of saying "I have to go take a dump" or something, he used that. I thought it was sweet, and it made me laff my ass off!

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BLOODLIFE
08:05 Nov 05 2009

Awww ... you found a polite Englishman! lol

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Sinora
08:34 Nov 05 2009

Hmmm now I wonder who that was ? lol

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chrysanthemia
00:58 Nov 06 2009

Oh. i've never heard it before, and when i read it just now, i thought it meant he was hungry.



Au contraire!

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Isis101
22:09 Nov 07 2009

'rumbletums'...



So far, we've seen it as either evacuating of eating...true opposites here. Eeewww...

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Theban
11:53 Dec 10 2009

It wasn't me I would of just said I have the sh@ts...hmmm that looks like shots, well I need those as well!

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POST COMMENT

Someone's kismet:





"Insert whitty kismet here."





Um hey? Spellcheck, ok kids?

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madamefate
03:27 Nov 04 2009

b-b-b-but I want to have horrible spelling! *stomps foot* :P

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Theban
11:55 Dec 10 2009

Even my spell check spells wrong words!!! What hope do I have! I even spelt my name wrong once...well, maybe more.

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