CarnelianMyst's Vampire Journal

CarnelianMyst's Journal

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23 entries this month

← Feb 2010

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Work N Stuff
03:02 Mar 31 2010
Times Read: 836

The closer it gets to a holiday, the wierder people get. Today a priest came in, we'd never seen him before, and he proceeds to tell us that he'd taken a blue silk tie to another cleaners, they couldn't get his stains out and he wanted us to clean it at no charge.

WTF? You don't go to Burger King and say you had a crappy Big Mac the other day, and want your Whopper free, do ya? Course not.

We looked at his tie. The color was gone in the front where he said there was a "stain". There had probably been a stain at some point, but somewhere along the line, someone had put water on it and rubbed it, a deadly combination for silk. Rubbed the color and the finish right off. We told him this and of course he got very indignant and said we didn't know a stain when we saw one.

"You should just close your doors. You're obviously not bright enough to know what you are doing, so just close up and I will tell all my friends that you can't get simple stains out."

Isn't that lovely? He'd been making the rounds all day, trying to find someone to clean his tie for free. Two other cleaners phoned to warn us about him, and since we were swamped with clothes and knew we couldn't make him happy no matter what happened, we just said sorry, we won't clean your tie, it has already been cleaned and nothing will make it better.

He just smirked. "Well, I see you can't do what you are supposed to do, so I will just mention that to everyone I see. Good day."

As he went out the door my boss coughed loudly and said "BULLSHIT"...you know, like they did in Animal House...and I chimed in with "cough ASSHOLE cough". We were so naughty, but sometimes we just get fed up with the fuckwits and idiots that roll in.

COMMENTS

Mikey
03:20 Mar 31 2010

That's crazy

Theban
13:34 Jun 16 2010

And the bloke was a priest...I would have said 'Just as your God is unable to deliver, so are we'

Then I would have thrown him out of the shop, what a twat.

Profile of the Week
23:41 Mar 28 2010
Times Read: 858

Found this on a profile on another site, I hereby nominate this as Profile of the Week.

"I am 6 ft 4, 215 lbs of haggis eating seriousness, although I am technically 20 percent metal as my entire head is made out of Copper and my balls are in fact a couple of large ball bearings stolen out of a paper cutting machine."

This could be my next ex-husband!

COMMENTS

Morrigon
00:06 Mar 29 2010

HAWT DAMN!

Isis101
03:20 Mar 29 2010

ooooookaaaaay...

Theban
13:47 Jun 16 2010

That's better than some of the profiles here!

OMFG
22:18 Mar 26 2010
Times Read: 878

From a profile:

"if yu piss me off yu betere run far cause my rage and anger is reantles."

and, where this person lives: Hustion, Texas.

This is a "collage student." One would hope he learns to spell better before he "gradiates".

FACEPALM

COMMENTS

Valentine
23:49 Mar 26 2010

um OK you now have me speechless!

Isis101
03:21 Mar 29 2010

Being a wise-ass, I'm actually speechless right now...

sahahria
20:41 Mar 29 2010

wow

O.O

Theban
13:48 Jun 16 2010

OMG...

Oh hell yeah.
23:55 Mar 25 2010
Times Read: 895

I had a memorable birthday. I went into work and boss #2 had announced my birthday on the outside marquee, so all day I had customers coming in wishing me happy b-day. A couple guys even brought things, one guy came with a bouquet of flowers and some chocolates (I'm still not going out with you Bob, you big mamma's boy you.)

Boss #2's wife and 3 year old came along at noon with a couple gifts for me, and wife gave the 3 year old the birthday card to give to me. The kid decided SHE wanted the card, and all the cajoling in the world wasn't going to make her turn it loose. "It's not your birthday, it's Patty's birthday, so give her the card!" my boss told her, and the kid started screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WANT THE CARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD" as only a 3 year old can.

The kid's mother got disgusted with this and went to just take the card away from her, and the kid had a complete meltdown. Snot running out of her nose, hiccuping so hard she was incoherent, and to top it all off, out of nowhere she suddenly got a virulent attack of diarrhea, and the shit went ALL OVER.

I just got out of the way and did my work, because there were clothes and customers to deal with, and I sure as hell wasn't going to help clean up a shitty 3 year old. After she got changed and calmed down she fell asleep (damn, I wish I could fall asleep that fast!) and we all had lunch and cake.

Hey kid....you just wait till YOUR birthday. Heh heh.

COMMENTS

Isis101
00:01 Mar 26 2010

LOL! Seems like you had a grand ol' time! And I'll say it again - Happy Birthday!!!

Nightgame
00:03 Mar 26 2010

Wow now that's going to leave both a stain and a memory! Glad you had a good birthday :)

thanatoswhisper
01:02 Mar 26 2010

lol wow, you sure know how to celebrate!! Next birthday I'm bringing your guests depends LOL

Guardian
21:36 Mar 26 2010

Sometimes working on your birthday isnt a bad thing = )

Happy Birthday to you!

PandorasBx
05:56 Mar 27 2010

Happy belated Birthday!

Theban
13:50 Jun 16 2010

Yeah I hope you had a special day X

Happy Days!
03:17 Mar 24 2010
Times Read: 912

I was reading my boss' daughters' facebook pages. Apparently they are having a hell of a time out in California. "Horseback riding on the beach, shopping, movies, mall food and hot tub", one wrote. Geez. Is it me or does the first part of that sound like an Old Spice commercial?

Gotta LOL or else I will BARF. :P

COMMENTS

Sinora
10:41 Mar 24 2010

Not that anyone is bitter about it or anything ? lmao

Isis101
03:23 Mar 29 2010

I hate the smell of Old Spice...reminds me of mean old drunks cheating at poker.

Yippee!
00:21 Mar 24 2010
Times Read: 924

Since I knew I wasn't going to get anything from anybody else, I went ahead and ordered me something I'd seen on the Food Network. It's a company called Hometown Favorites, they have a website, hometownfavorites.com...and it is chock full of all the yummy stuff you used to eat as a kid and probably can't find anymore.

They have it broken down into decades, if you were a child of the 70's, 80's, 90's...or farther back if you like. You get a box full of stuff from that decade, along with a sheet telling what happened during that time that you may have forgotten about. Good gracious..they pack a lot of stuff into that box!

It's been great going back down memory lane. There are goodies in here that I totally forgot about....Mary Janes, Clark Bar, Laffy Taffy, Nik-L-Nips, wax lips (!), Sky Bar (never had that), and something you don't get much of around here, a Moon Pie. Oh, there is a lot of stuff in that box, I have only listed a few items. On the website, you can choose what you like, buy one, two or more, and for those who are diabetic or trying to tame a sweet tooth, they have sugar free items.

I think the only thing I am not going to try is the Sen-Sen...ack, licorice is one candy I am not even tempted to try. Bleah!

Nice to take a little trip down memory lane, courtesy of Hometown Favorites. They rock!

COMMENTS

Vampirewitch39
00:25 Mar 24 2010

Had to come in and read when I saw the Food Network. lol

Moon Pie, Clark Bars are still sold here. I can ship you some. ;)

Isis101
00:44 Mar 24 2010

What a cool idea! I remember a lot of those goodies too! I loved the wax lips and the Moon Pies!

Other than my mom - who usually forgets - I buy gifts for my damn self too - lol!

PandorasBx
05:42 Mar 24 2010

How fun!

O.o
15:19 Mar 21 2010
Times Read: 939

At the rate I am leveling up, I will reach Sire in.....December of 2012. *cries* Dammit! lol

COMMENTS

birra
16:24 Mar 21 2010

Is you making sire REALLY when the world will end?

KIDDING!

Isis101
19:53 Mar 21 2010

Start rating a lot of shit in the database...that's what helped me!

Movie Night
04:04 Mar 21 2010
Times Read: 950

I just finished watching 2012. I enjoy a good disaster movie, and that one kept me riveted. All that water! Yeeks. Every disaster movie I've seen usually has some sequence where a wall of water comes rushing in to destroy everything.THAT is something I hope I never have to face. Being an Aries, fire sign, I am not too keen on large bodies of water!

I don't swim. I do have to drive across a bridge to get to work, and looking down to see the river beneath me gives me the willies. Two years ago, the river rose so high that it flooded the street where I work...the water actually came to within a few feet of the door to my shop and we were going to move all the clothes out. Luckily the water went down.

I hope I am never faced with a water event. You know, death by drowning or something involving water. I think I'd rather be blown up!

Great laugh line in the movie: some guy says "The North Pole is now in Wisconsin" (my state). Yay! Always knew we'd be famous.

Tomorrow, going to watch New Moon...yes I toddled out to buy that today. Bet I was the oldest one to buy it at my store. All I saw were young girls!

COMMENTS

PandorasBx
07:29 Mar 21 2010

I thought 2012 was awesome, it had me freaked out, I wanted to yell at the screen "run faster, run!" lol ...

Isis101
19:55 Mar 21 2010

I'm like you with water...yikes!

I don't swim (should've taken lessons when I had the chance as a kid).

And where I live, tsunamis are a probable threat...

Theban
13:55 Jun 16 2010

I lover water, being a fish!

Urgh
01:28 Mar 21 2010
Times Read: 962

It's like seeing an accident coming..like an approaching train wreck. You see what is going to happen, you know the outcome isn't going to be any good, but you're powerless to stop it. And it just keeps on coming.

COMMENTS

thanatoswhisper
02:00 Mar 21 2010

uh-oh. I offer free hugs.

Theban
14:05 Jun 16 2010

I love these!

Grrr
23:30 Mar 18 2010
Times Read: 994

I am NOT a happy bunny right now. And won't be for quite awhile. Late this afternoon, I found out second hand that my boss is leaving today for California (vacation), and not coming back for a week! He never even mentioned it.

This is wonderful. Aside from the fact that I will now have to come in earlier and work later (hmm this will push me up to the 80 hour range next week), my birthday falls next week and he KNEW I wanted off early that night so I could go out to eat with friends. I even had it on the calendar. Now I can't go.

Isn't that lovely? To sneak off and not bother telling me he was going for a week? Not one word till the last minute. Then he got all pissed and said he "figured I knew". Uh, no. I don't count "you know I'm away from tonight till next Thursday, right?" much notice.

Shit. Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

COMMENTS

Isis101
02:18 Mar 19 2010

I was gonna' ask if his impromptu vacation messed up your B-day plans...so uncool!

madamefate
17:16 Mar 19 2010

wanna borrow my stomping boots?

chrysanthemia
19:44 Mar 19 2010

Didn't he do that when you wanted to see your uncle or something, and get off early on a Saturday? Sneak off on a fishing trip?

(i'm not a creepy stalker just have a good memory.^^)

Hes a dick! Oh my gosh. i would've told him to go piss up a rope.

sahahria
21:21 Mar 19 2010

from everything I've read about your boss here- you NEED a new job :( With a boss that treats you humanely.

Laugh of the day
00:53 Mar 16 2010
Times Read: 1,022

Someone's kismet:

"In my dreams I'll always see you sore above the sky."

Gee...need a bandaid or some Tylenol up there?

COMMENTS

Isis101
00:56 Mar 16 2010

LOL! Another horrid speller...the best one I saw here on VR was a girl who said that she was 'cisilan'

(I figured out that she meant Sicilian)...now, if you can't spell your own ethnic group, you got problems...

TheDarkWolfman
01:07 Mar 16 2010

They tend to get pissed if you try "help" them with the correct spelling.I mean what's up with that huh.

PandorasBx
01:14 Mar 16 2010

LOL!

Morrigon
02:46 Mar 16 2010

Haha that's a GREAT typo! Makes it so much more interesting.

ThothLestat
16:33 Mar 16 2010

I actually like it better with the typo.

it makes it all dark and scary.

madamefate
19:45 Mar 16 2010

Probably some midol :P LOL

Yuck!
02:30 Mar 15 2010
Times Read: 1,034

Overheard on "Ace of Cakes" : "There's always peas in barf."

COMMENTS

Sinora
08:54 Mar 15 2010

Thanks for sharing lol

Theban
14:06 Jun 16 2010

Tis true as well as carrots

Dammit
00:02 Mar 15 2010
Times Read: 1,041

I seem to have become the Queen Procrastinator of all time. Stuff I want to do, need to do, and I can't get off my ass and do it. Will someone please kick my butt?

COMMENTS

Valentine
00:13 Mar 15 2010

I will give you a good spanking;-)

madamefate
02:41 Mar 15 2010

sorry left my butt kicking boots in my other pants lol

Isis101
00:57 Mar 16 2010

*kicks CM with four-inch red Manolos*

Wamphyri
00:41 Mar 19 2010

Ill ge ye a good kick up the arse .... You sure !!

Ebaying
02:53 Mar 13 2010
Times Read: 1,062

I was cruising ebay, looking for decently-priced autographed photos to add to my collection. Being a huge fan of The Tudors, I was looking for signatures from the actors of that series, and I came across one from Henry Cavill...lawsy. That guy is seriously HOT. I know, I know, WAY too young, but still...I got him for my wall now!

I don't have a large number of autographs, just the people who appeal to me for some reason. My pride and joy are 4 autographs of Millvina Dean, the youngest Titanic survivor. She died last year. Other people hanging on my wall are: Pete Best (original member of The Beatles), Slipknot, Gordon Ramsay, Gloria Stuart, Twiggy, Adam West (TV's Batman), Christopher Lee, and Lauren Bacall.

COMMENTS

Valentine
12:10 Mar 13 2010

Damn i wonder how much you would pay for a sexy photo? LMAO

CarnelianMyst
22:03 Mar 13 2010

Send me one and find out, big boy! :P

Isis101
00:58 Mar 16 2010

Nice collection of photos!

Think about it!
03:43 Mar 12 2010
Times Read: 1,086

This was just on the 9 pm news. Someone in Portage put up a billboard that says: "HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS TEXT WHILE DRIVING IF YOU WANT TO MEET HIM SOONER."

Put down the phone and drive the car.

COMMENTS

Morrigon
03:54 Mar 12 2010

Some people could really take this tip to heart... Birra.

DeMonic
04:32 Mar 12 2010

LOL! thats funny! here in NZ it just got made illegal to drive whilst texting etc, about time i reckon!

birra
04:53 Mar 13 2010

Hey, I'm a professional stunt... texter.

Isis101
01:00 Mar 16 2010

LMAO! This is priceless!

C-word
01:21 Mar 12 2010
Times Read: 1,099

I was going to explain about being called a "C" in my last entry, then I hit "enter" and away it went lol...the reason I got called that delicate flower of a word was because a customer came in, had never been to us before, and was quite irate that he couldn't get his suit back in under an hour.

We were trying to explain to him that we were not a one hour cleaners, that we have a 60-pound machine and we won't run it for just one suit, not economically feasible! Then the guy asked for our prices and of course, not being the discount cleaners he was used to, he was not happy with our prices. In times like these, you can't please people, you just wish they would go away quickly and let you get back to your day. After arguing with my boss and calling him the f word, the customer got thrown out, and on his way out the door he turned to me and said "and you're a cunt too!"

Gee, thanks. Hope your dick shrivels to a stack of dimes the next time you want it for nookie.

COMMENTS

Isis101
01:41 Mar 12 2010

I think he was an asshole because it's the usual for him...and he has to cope with that shriveled diseased dick of his.

Bones
02:27 Mar 12 2010

Just be sure that when he comes back for his suit, that it's one size smaller than it used to be! ;)

madamefate
03:02 Mar 12 2010

wanna borrow my stomping boots?

Sinora
10:37 Mar 13 2010

Yea, people like that just make ya proud to be human lol

Theban
14:08 Jun 16 2010

I do so like the Cunt word...perhaps it's because so many people don't like it. It just has that ring to it.. "You Cunt" lol x

Bleah
01:01 Mar 12 2010
Times Read: 1,108

When your day starts out with a customer calling you a cunt...it can only get better!

COMMENTS

LadyKrystalynDarkstar
01:09 Mar 12 2010

WOW that's not very nice!

Valentine
01:12 Mar 12 2010

To bad you can't call them a cunt back:-(

Isis101
01:13 Mar 12 2010

Damn...do you know what brought that on?

Laugh of the day
01:59 Mar 10 2010
Times Read: 1,134

I just got this on my profile:

"YOU HAVE BEEN RATTED."

Wow! and I didn't even put out any cheese!

COMMENTS

Vampirewitch39
02:00 Mar 10 2010

LOL It was not me, I swear. ;)

TheDarkWolfman
02:07 Mar 10 2010

You are special...not everyone can get ratted.

Nightgame
02:15 Mar 10 2010

VW's fibbing it was her!

madamefate
02:56 Mar 10 2010

Tru vampyres dont neeed to chek there spellin gawd!

birra
03:16 Mar 10 2010

Ratted by a pigeon? I'll call a lawyer...

Isis101
05:20 Mar 10 2010

Oh my...maybe being 'ratted' means that they left a few rat droppings for you. That sucks.

Sinora
09:34 Mar 10 2010

Well now I'm just plain jealous....

Lols
22:52 Mar 07 2010
Times Read: 1,155

Been having a laugh most of the day following the announcements on the website of our local TV station. It started out with "Follow the Oscar's tonight on channel 3".

People immediately commented "why the apostrophe? OSCARS!!!!!"

Then someone wrote "Oh that is to funny to spell it that way." You guessed it...the next person commented that the correct spelling was "too" and not "to".

Each sucessive post had a misspelling or some grammatical error, and each error had a rude comment suggesting the previous person did not attend english class! It was getting so off topic, no one noticed that the original error, Oscar's, was finally corrected to Oscars.

Way to go, guys!

COMMENTS

Isis101
23:01 Mar 07 2010

LOL! The snowball affect/effect (LOL) in action...

Funny
21:33 Mar 06 2010
Times Read: 1,165

My giggle for the day: I had been trying to find this song I'd heard on the radio, and while I was in Shopko I had a brainwave....hum a little of it for the guys in the music department and see if they knew what it was.

So I asked this guy, who couldn't have been more than 24, if he knew the song I was humming. He listened, then his eyes got real big. "That's Rob Zombie's WHAT," he told me, and got me the cd. After I'd paid for it and was walking away, he said to the other clerk,"Dude! She's into Zombie, and she's old enough to be my mom!"

LMAO!

COMMENTS

Sinora
10:06 Mar 08 2010

Ha ! I just love it when that happens lmao

Theban
13:46 Jun 16 2010

Ooo your so cool!

Manners
02:04 Mar 06 2010
Times Read: 1,179

I was reading Dear Abby the other day, the whole column was about good manners. Apparently some man had tried to open a door for a woman who didn't exactly appreciate it. In fact, she told him off lol.

My two cents on that? As a woman, I have had men practially break their necks to open a door for me, once almost tripping me in order to do it, and one stepped on the back of my foot, scraping it right down, which was enough to make me scream. If I am not encumbered with bags or something, which I usually am not, I can get through a door just fine all by myself. But, it's always nice to ASK first, "may I help you" or something like that. Of course you can help me!

One time I will never forget. I had bought an antique drum table after looking at it in a shop for some time, I thought it would go perfectly in my front room, so a friend with a truck toted me to the store and helped me get it home. We carefully took it into the lobby of my apartment building and pressed the button for the elevator.

As the car came down, a man appeared round the corner, saw the table and made a beeline for it. I thought he was going to say "wow! what a great table" or something. Instead he said "I'll get that" and grabbed the table around the decorative edging.

You guessed it. The edging broke in the two places he had grabbed it. I screamed bloody murder and my friend shouted, which caused the man to drop the table....right on another edging which broke off. I was SOOO PISSED. This man just broke my table!

The police were called and I filed a claim with my insurance. The guy never even apologized! He just kept saying "I was trying to get it into the elevator." WHY the hell would you just grab something that is not yours, you don't know the owner or what they even wanted to do with it?

I eventually got the table fixed and I still have it. The damage is still a bit visible, you'd never know it if you didn't know what it was like before, but I know what it was like and it still pisses me off when I remember that asshole just grabbing my table. He moved out not long after that, probably because every time I saw him I'd scream "asshole" at him lol.

The upshot: ASK first before you do anything like that. Saves a lot of trouble.

COMMENTS

BLOODLIFE
11:25 Mar 06 2010

But when we ask, ... we're always wrong. lol

CarnelianMyst
21:34 Mar 06 2010

You betcherass. Heh.

Morrigon
15:00 Mar 07 2010

I open doors for people, people open doors for me. I don't really process the importance of a man opening a door for me, just someone helping out.

I'm always checking over my shoulder when I go through public doorways like that. I find it rude and thoughtless when someone just walks in and doesn't pause to see if they can help someone else out.

That being said, I often find people rude and thoughtless because it is a synonym for "New Yorker".

Isis101
23:03 Mar 07 2010

Opening doors is nice...grabbing an antique like an uncouth behemoth is not.

Theban
13:45 Jun 16 2010

Right! As a man I open doors because of the way I was brought up. I was brought up to be a gentleman *coughs*

What really ticks me is when I open a door and the woman doesn't say thanks or expects me to open doors.

However I will always ask if someone wants help with something because it is rude to presume!

Diaper Duty
00:28 Mar 04 2010
Times Read: 1,204

My boss' daughter will be four soon, and she is still in diapers. What the hell? That is just wrong. Is it so hard to toilet train a kid? I mean, if a child is sophisticated enough to say to someone, "I like the design in your blouse" (as she did to me recently) then it shouldn't be that difficult to get her to understand the concept of going potty in a toilet and not a diaper?

Any parents want to chime in on this and leave some hints? I will pass them on to my boss; he is desperate!

COMMENTS

Xzavier
00:34 Mar 04 2010

I'm not a parent but in this case I really think it's his fault. Of course I don't know the whole situation.

temptation101
03:26 Mar 04 2010

I am a parent of a three year old. I am having no luck potty training her. She has no interest in it at all. I have asked our family doctor and she told me that when she is ready she will be ready. But it is so frustrating.

She will go potty in the potty every once in a while, but when you ask her if she has to go potty, she will say no. It is a very frustrating ordeal.

Isis101
03:58 Mar 04 2010

Wow...I laughed, then felt guilty. Four is pretty old to still be wearing diapers, but hopefully, she'll just start to go to the potty on her own soon.

My braniac nephew didn't really use the potty until he was a lil' over 3 years old. He walked months later...even though he knew how. He just liked to be carried around everywhere so he could be of an adult height to see everything, I guess.

madamefate
14:42 Mar 04 2010

wow, the only thing I could think of was lazzzzzzzzzzzy. My advice, try the approach that it is a game. and the end result will be no more diapers.

Theban
16:51 Mar 04 2010

I also thought lazy as well..

I have 2 little beasts and we rewarded them when they used the potty and toilet, it worked for us and them.

However every child is different and it will come in time, probably when she starts pre-school.

temptation101
23:31 Mar 04 2010

I have tried the rewards program, stickers, cookies, big girl pants (she even picked them out), but to no avail. Any other ideas?

Bijou
03:39 Mar 06 2010

My gaughter isn't even two yet(end of may she will be) and she is in training pants, one day she made a big fuss about me putting a dipper on her and kept taking it off..I took that as a sign that she was ready to be a big girl...it worked

Mystic
04:19 Mar 12 2010

well i found that during the summeris always the best way to potty train I had my son done in a weekend when he was 2 1/2 just kept showing him where the toilet was and then when it was timeto change himI told him no more diapers... put himin a pair of underroos about 3 hours later i hear "I did it mommy I did it" and yup h sure did and so i rewarded him witha prize and thats whats that lol

LOLS
02:25 Mar 02 2010
Times Read: 1,235

Just heard this gem on Two and a Half Men: 'Having a hoochie is like having a classic car...lots of maintenance and once a month you gotta put down the oil pan."

Mah GAWD, LOL!!

COMMENTS

TheDarkWolfman
02:26 Mar 02 2010

Yeah I just saw that