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I swear that if you heard what was going on in my head youd swear i was a woman, i am so damn confused about my emotions, like i dont know where to start.... OK it originaly started with me coming to job corps, i was here about a month then i saw her she was the most beautiful girl ive ever seen in my life she had what i had thougt at the time was almond brown eyes, which i later came to find out they were hazel but thats neither here nor there.... but there was a problem she had a boyfriend here that she was deeply in love with and me being the respectfull karma fearing person i am i didnt do anything to change the realationship i could have tried but i didnt. So i figured that I'll be her friiend rather than nothing at all and for nine months i fell more and more in love with her... then she completed the program (job corps) and i was thrown into disaster, i'd see her every day, her boyfriend and I were even in the same room him and i had even become best friends, so she would come to get him in the morning and i would jump up out of bed just to see her beauty she was the highlight of my day.

but she left the program and they were still going out and i would still talk to here every day on the phone. Then one day a friend of hers came over and i was talking to her friend and my friend told me that she thought i was cute and i was intrigued so i started to talk to her and i got alot of pictures and i know it sounds cheesy but i fell in love with her too over the phone but what made it different is that my friend would tell me how her personallity was so there were no lies well me and this girl started dating for about three mounths then we broke up and still to this day she hasnt told me why its probably because she found some one else the problem was is that i had made all of my plans based around her and after we broke up i became lost but then my two friends broke up and i was like hey shes single maybe heres my chance because i had came to copes with the fact that i thought id never be with her but then they broke up i was like hey shes single maybe heres my chance so i tried to give her time to cope with things cool off and stuff like that, but a week or two before i was going to ask her to be with me and this piece of shit that is sewer trash asked her out and she said yes and i dont see why if im not going to be with her i at least want her to be happy and this piece of lying sack of shit is not going to make her happy and i feel bad because she thinks i hate his freaking guts because he's with her and im not, NO thats not it he is trash and all hes going to do is hurt her and shes being stubborn about it and not listining to her friend whos never lied to her without telling her the truth because he felt bad about lying and since then iv not lied to her, and then i want my ex back so bad and im getting over my friend but i still have the same feelings for my ex i love that girl with all my heart but she doesnt want to be with me so that is why i wrote this because im moving on i want to find someone to love me as much as i want to love someone else not just any female but one i can really connect with, some one i can give the world and everything in it, some one i can give the greatest gift in the world.... Happieness.