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Stuck in emotional quicksand

struggling to get out

just when I think I am close

to feeling...

anything...

like when I was a kid

and the smallest accomplishment

brought a strong sense of pride

I find myself sinking

further in to this

rather mundane life

I have made for myself

Trying to find a rope

to get back to solid ground

Trying to find myself

again.

I remember

how it felt

when you went away.

Never did I

think you would

make me feel such pain.

Never was a vow

I made to myself.

Never would I again

trust someone so much.

Never would I open

myself so completely.

Now you've returned,

my very best friend.

It's almost like old times,

almost...

You are making me doubt

myself.

Everlasting chains bind us,

chains of life,

chains of friendship.

I find myself

daring to believe in you

again.

Can I trust you

to remain my friend?

If I give you

what's left

of my wasted, withered heart

will you throw it down

like before,

or will you hold it

carefully,

returning it to me

as full as it

once was,

fuller than I dare to hope

it can ever be again?

I want to trust you

so please be my friend

and let me believe in you

again

because it's so hard for me

to believe in

myself.