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I am so happy. I have found a path home.

I feel like some of my journal entries would be appropriate on my profile what do you guys think?
With a little tweaking? Lol

Thanks to SireWallFlower! I'm such a PITA with all the questions! And he just deals.

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SireWallFlower
07:18 Jul 26 2023

No problem. You're more than welcome.

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Bithersweet2
09:48 Jul 26 2023

😁

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Every time I think I have found the most eloquent way to explain just how much of a damaging worthless POS he was.... I run into this verbal blockage. WTF? I need to unleash the words that the universe needs to hear and bare witness as the end of my silence!!!! .....
I had a bad dream.
For 8 months I've suffered alone thinking that's how I showed strength. I should've been screaming at the top of my fricking lungs.
Told you I was dramatic.
2 hours sleep and this was all I could express.
This should be a private entry, but why should I hide the wounds? It's like lying about my age, my weight or anything else.

I hate autocorrect.

To those of you who actually read what I post....i find my words are actually seeking you out more than they are for me. They cathartic but more to me a call for communion through here , there and everywhere of Amy and all vast universe. Dramatic as it may seem...its the only way I know.

Was thinking I might have something wise to say..
Um guess not. Maybe I need another whiskey neat. 😁

I'm not trying to create verbal vomit but I am screaming to be claimed. I am crying out for community.

It's not even 4th of July anymore but the fireworks are going off. Lol. Had to tranq all the dogs in the house (4). Btw I smell rain. Thunder and lightning are coming

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Vampirewitch39
17:26 Jul 23 2023

Yes, the neighbor above me is still letting them off. Must have hit that 75% off sale.

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Bithersweet2
02:33 Jul 24 2023

Bwahahaha

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LadyAtanasya
22:36 Jul 25 2023

They are stillletting them off where i live to. Its rediculas!

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Bithersweet2
06:36 Jul 26 2023

Right, I don't know how many more tranqs the dogs can handle. We don't have a high risk for fire right now because of all the rain. So everybody is taking advantage of it.

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I yearn for the feeling of genuine arms around me. I yearn for true whispers in my ear. Tell me and tell me again " I'm here, We're here , and always will be".

Tonight I'm feeling elation [f shivering cold. All from welcoming embrace. I'm not worried about looking silly just because of the smile I can't release. Hahahaha.

For some my smile is genuine. For others it's a subliminal welcome to go ahead......keep pushing buttons. The blatant ignorance that they don't have a clue is astounding. My tolerance is a gift to those outside our world until I just have none left.
Mistake number one: they mistook my kindness for weakness
2: small in stature but not lacking in will. Never underestimate me.
Those outside the community where my heart and thoughts dwell just don't comprehend.

Tonight my body feels the charge in the air. My favorite. Thunder, lightning and the smell of high desert air. Fresh dirt. Clean soil and the foliage that covers it.

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Vampirewitch39
18:38 Jul 20 2023

The images these few words bring.. :):

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Bithersweet2
23:11 Jul 20 2023

That makes me smile.😏

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Starting to feel my way round again.

Everything has has different levels. I feel like a newbie trying to re-navigate

I don't seem to know what to do with myself. Uggghhh

Over a decade ago I was welcomed member here. I then fell in love with a controlling worthless "man". He didn't like that I friends that shared my drawing. He didn't like that I had friends. And for over 11 years he made sure that I didn't in all aspects of life and death. Right up until he tried to annihilate and completely obliterate what was left of my heart. But guess what....i am healing and finding my way back to those of like and who still call to me.
I have won.
To those who read please reach out to your lost sister who begs to be reclaimed.

COMMENTS

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EstrangedOne
06:24 Jul 16 2023

Belonging has a few different levels to it.

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Shadowing
07:01 Jul 16 2023

Belonging and controlling to extremes has many levels.

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Bithersweet2
05:07 Jul 20 2023

Agreed, but not the way he intended it. I was forbade to have my VR.

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Ard
09:05 Aug 07 2023

I am happy about your healing. 👍😀

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Bithersweet2
13:25 Aug 07 2023

That means the world to me! Gives me that extra spark to smile with revenge and my own power. My dark side giggle keeps getting cuter. Lol

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