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When Roger was bad with his back and off work, I was as sympathetic as the other volunteers. Then he returned to work and, after I have spent years on the project, he had begun being awkward paying my expenses, after not doing so while off work. And, since then I have paid for myself to go to the project and it is crippling me financially, particularly at a time when I need money for my Broadband bill and for a Doctor Who gig in June. Roger snipes. He snipes about me being late, while not hassling the 'pretty ladies', which I have gotten used to. Now for years, he's been calling me 'the space cadet', in front of any and all, often people related to the church and, although I saw it as funny at first, the remarks always had an edge to it and, I don't appreciate it. He also snipes about me not doing things, whilst the 'pretty ladies' stand around doing sweet F.A. and, I see to the bins, the tea's and the door, serving the customers. Then this Thursday it came to a head. It had been 7:28 according to my watch and we open up at 7:30. He had stood in the middle of the doorway from the church to where we serve 'at the door', arms crossed, a smile on his face. Now, I've never liked bullies and, it was evident he was trying to intimidate me.

"So what's with you being rude and turning up late?" He quizzed.

"You really want to do this now?" I'd asked, looking at my watch.

"Yes," he had responded, still smiling, still arms crossed.

"As to being rude? Well, I speak as I'm spoken to..." I'd told him and reminded him, "Do you recall saying to me, 'I'll not see you short'?"

"Yes." He had responded, still smiling, still arms crossed.

"Well, I can't lift as I did, so as I'm paying for myself to get in, I'm doing as I do: what I'm good at, at my own cost..."

And, as I found out from Marc, another volunteer, who I like, he still sniped about me, after I'd gone. And, standing up to him as I finally did, I had felt like standing up to a bully, at school, college, the police, or prison.

And then, on Friday after a busy runaround morning with Dad, my camera died. Now thankfully I do have a standby and Barry says he will lend me his for Doctor Who, but man-oh-man, I so wish sometimes, I'd the coin to buy a new one, as and when I need.

Ah well...

Over the weekend a portion of the front of a tooth came off and, when I got my ‘emergency appointment, I’d been most interested to learn he intended fixing it there and then, sealing it, with what amounted to tape. But it seemed to work.



Thurday I went to sign on at 10:00, so had cadged a lift off Dad. As I’d done omething I disliked so much I had needed to do something else and had been pleased to run into Barry, who had called to see me. Amongst our travels we had gone to Raby Mere, where we had spotted and photographed a cormorant. Well after that, anything else would have been nothing in comparison. At it happens I went to voluntary work to go to, where I endured Roger’s sniping about being late, with assertiveness he evidently found disquieting. That had amused me goodstyle.

I had spent the late evening and early morning watching, ‘I, Frankenstein’.



The weekend had brought with it more pleasant weather. I’d spent Saturday with Barry at his new flat, where he’d had Sky fitted. I’d had rotten evening with my back though and I’d been up and down all night. Come Sunday the day had started a tad cloudy but had changed quickly enough and we’d enjoyed the drive to West Kirby, albeit the traffic had been arduous wherever we went. Saying that, we’d enjoyed the drive and then on the promenade was pleasant. Come the evening I’d got some recording done, then sat down to watch, ‘Streetfighter – The Legend Of Chun Li’

I’d sat there immovable throughout, liking it very much. And, the last time I saw the actress who played the eponymous character was in Smallville, playing Lana Lang.





I called at Barry’s flat this Wednesday evening. It had been good to see him, 'n I’d beeen thankful for the lift home, as my hips were aching with the cold.

That said, I'd a pleasant afternoon, with Alex; then at food tasting I had tried several vanilla cheesecakes, to test.



Come Friday night I was in bed before 12:00 – “stop the presses!”

Liverpool may have had fog, Thursday and Friday, I got the chill to my hips, that left me walking like damn CP30, after I’d successfully got up, that is. But, I’ve a routine that has to be kept, so was. I got the housework done with Dad and, went to voluntary work, feeling as I did. Then come Friday, it had been shopping, planting in the front border, then cook the tea, before Barry called. In retrospect, I’m not surprised I had felt as I did, fatigued. My consolations have been many; but one was the tape player I found to replace ‘the old one’. And, though the replacement is older than the original, it works. Oh yes, I also got to see the first episode of the tv show ‘Dawn Till Dawn’, which is a Robert Rodriguez production, so has quality behind it. And, I got to see the first episode of ‘Yonderland’, which looks like, Muppets, Monty Python and Alice In Wonderland, combined; should be interesting…



On Sunday Barry and I went to see Liverpool play Manchester, on television at a pub bear Talace Beach, pronounced Tal – Akker, in English. The run out there had been good, though it was a cold wind that blew, while it was sunny. And, the match had been a good one for us, with Liverpool beating Manchester three nil. Come the return journey we came back via the bridge, which had cut an hour of the journey, and I was home to eat tea with Dad and drink red wine to Mum, on time.



On Monday Alex had called round after housework. We had intended to go a drive. We had intended for me to do one thing for his machine. But, not only did I install what he needed and found windows movie-maker, I also found out how to acquire it for my own machine; and I had learnt how to download from YouTube, using Jdownloader… all very interesting, as I do so like learning… particularly when its something so damn useful…



Come Tuesday I revelled in a walk to the Mere, meeting Alex on the way. It had been sunny and very windy and the walk had been good, as had the conversation, as we sat in the car chatting. At one point I’d got to my spec ‘on the wall’ and sat in full-lotus, as requested, so that Alex could take some photo’s of me doing so… Well, I’d still felt energetic once I’d got home, so did some weeding of the front border, before I’d cooked tea… then watched a few more episodes of ‘Yonderland.’

Well I’d signed on recently, seeing the advisor I’ve seen since I left the work programme. As I stood and was walked from the desk, I’d talked of the weather and of my arm, as I had explained why my signature was so bad: my right arm had not worked for weeks and I’d had an xray, to see why. As it happens, the arthritis and impingement of the spine is worse. But that’s an aside. After I’d spoken, the advisor had pointed with her arm, then suggested “You should go there… to go sick…” I’d taken umbrage at that and explained, “I have my arm and my mouth and, that’s what I need for what I do.”

Granted my doctor would sign me off for my arm, my spine or depression. But having encountered Birkenhead office and been lied to and seen what Atos are like, I’m staying as I’ve done for years, looking for suitable employ.

It just seems they don’t know what to do with this particular fifty-four year old, with a few issues and a desire to find work. I cannot get my health and safety, first-aid, or food safety, all of which the dole used to help me attain. Now all I get in the way of help is directions to their website, which is partnered with Monster.co.uk, who have previously misused my data. And, this is a website I’m instructed by some advisors to use, or face sanction. When you view the governments website as a ‘customer’ it is hard to find any real jobs. Granted, one can help fill an agencies books, of find work distributing catalogues, working Avon… or contacting Joan and Arthur, or something like that, the page of which had a link to a website that was selling not jobs, but a ‘business opportunity’ that at first second and third read, read like Pyramid selling, which is quite illegal. So here we have a government liased website, I have to use, by dictate, directing me to a website doing pyramid selling and their terms and conditions deny responsibility for such-like. That’s wrong as is much of the site and, very much against the spirit if not law relating to the Data Protection Act, I believe. But, their new terms and conditions deny responsibility for third parties who use their site, or loss of personal data.





And, the weathers been getting to my body, badstyle. Granted the flooding is bad for many and there have been deaths. But for me, it’s the way the cold, or to be more specific the damp affects my lower arm late at night, preventing me from going on the P.C. at night, as I want, which has meant that I have not been able to chat with those that I know on Vampirerave and, that annoyed me goodstyle.



Granted, thanks to Barry and Alex I have gotten around and about and, seen some green and just before the weekend I’d got some good news. Firstly Karl had rung, sounding about as enthusiastic as I’ve ever heard him sound, after I realized just who it was I’d been speaking to, as the wind had sounded so strong over his voice. He’d rung to tell me he’d passed his driving test, which he’d wanted to do for ever so long. And I’d heard his news just a day or so after hearing of Barry’s good fortune, finding the flat to suit him, in an area he’d want to live in, Bromborough, across the village from where I live…



My consolation thought of late was something I’d been able to say to Lucie when she had called round to watch a film with me… Years earlier I’d said to her, “The cycle is not complete, yet.” Then, when she called for ‘film-night’, I’d been able to say to her: “The cycle is complete.” And unlike some might, she had understood…



Roger had been back on Thursday, a night when we’d had more at the door than we have had for ages. There had been a degree of quiet enmity, but I just recalled why I’m still going and, all had been well in my world once again.



Come Friday morning I awoke slowly and in pain, as ever. Then I’d turned the radio on and, as I had drunk my cold, first coffee of the day I heard something I thought that I recognised. The Roger Phillips Show plays trailers of earlier calls, often playing them unedited and they had this time, an all. Only the voice I’d heard was mine, as I’d spoken of a favourite topic. It had been good to hear myself, after all the times I’ve come off the phone to Merseyside and said to Dad, “How did I sound?”

As it happens, I’d sounded alright and, I’d got my point across cogently enough…

I’d smiled at that and continued to do so as we went to shop, then as we had shopped.



And, just the other day I turned the teevee on and was banjaxed a little girl on a bike with stabalisers singing the whole of ‘We built this city [on rock ‘n roll]’ by Jefferson Starship, with a cat in the bikes basket at the front, joint in the chorus. And, she’d given a power-rock salute and, rode through water coming from sprinklers and, the advert, for gawd knows what… had me dumbstruck with how good it was… Now, when the advert awards come round, I hope it wins something, just for making me smile, goodstyle…



Thursday had been the third consecutive sunny day, although the wind had got to me. After housework Dad and I had gone to the NatWest, so that he could add me to his account, for the day that might be needed. He’d been so anxious to get his business done that he’d continually chivvied me along, to the point of annoyance. But, we’d gone out. The traffic had been bad and things hadn’t been much better at the bank, where had lack of formal ID had proved irksome to the extreme. And then, come the return journey, everything that could have gone wrong did. Well, Barry had called with news that our plans had changed, but we still went downtown, to see what could be seen, then had to end the afternoon early. By then, my right arm had decided to work better, after not being too helpful, for much of the day. A short while later I’d been on the station, having just missed my train for Liverpool and voluntary work. As I stood there lighting a smoke, as twilight grew I’d heard the sweetest birdsong, then from across the tracks, the sound of a wood pigeon, as if it reply. And, as the bird above my head continued it’s melodious trill, I’d decided to see if I could make out what type of bird it had been. By listening very carefully I ascertained that it had been in the branches above me and it’s shape gave it away, as a Robin. Needless to say, I’d felt a tad relaxed as my journeying started, after my serenade. And, Roger was being a snide this time, making little cracks that I simply brushed aside. Evidently he does have a problem with me, but I have more than enough to contend with than him…



Anyway. Enough of that…



Come Friday it had been back to the NatWest, to validate that I am who I say I am.

I’d visited Barry’s new flat on Saturday, which is across from Bromborough from me. Then Barry called round Sunday morning and we went a drive on a day where the blue skies had gone and, the rain had been back. We gone through Bury then picturesque Ramsbottom, with its quaint shops and shuttle service rail service, to The Jumbles, a large man-made lake and woods, that like The Burrs showed testament to the industrial heritage of the area, with various overgrown workings. We had ate our brunch al fresco and made another little film, then driven to pick up Barry’s son, to take him and Oliver his grandson to a baths, in a grand hotel midst a golf course, forgetting a coat and nappies for Oliver, that we went back for and, thankfully that detour had not led to me being late for my evening meal with Dad. I’d been tired, even after a rest for the knees and my hands were cold, so yet again, there’d been no VR before bedtime… heck, it was so awkward to type, my journal entry took ages to write. Then again, watching ‘Screamers 2: The Hunting' hadn’t helped concentration.