While wandering the vast netscape that is VampireRave, you happened to stumble onto my profile. Welcome and please wipe your feet, my mind is dirty enough. Before you get down to the all the fun stuff you’re just dying to read, I have to ask a few things of you, dear reader.
1.) If you’re one of those people looking for a girlfriend ...I’m not it. I'm not interested in a relationship. I'm not looking for attention with this either, just putting it out there.
2.) If you’re here to get your rating fix and move on, do your best not to stamp and go. I would prefer a comment or none at all.
3.) Rate fairly, based on the effort of the work I have put into this thing. We are not the same person, therefore, we are not going to agree with each other on every little thing.
4.) If you're going to complain that my profile has too much about me, you may leave NOW without rating. I am sick and tired of people thinking that a profile should be based on a basic description of my cup size and an "ask me". I have quizzes in my journals. I am a writer of sorts. I will not have you running around rating me 1s because you're reading comprehension level is that of a kindergartener.
NightBlossom Hall of History
The following blurb is what my profile contained upon joining VR on April 12, 2005. Shockingly, over 6 years later, its still holds pretty true.
I'm just a contradiction. I'm weird yet normal. I hate and love. I kill with kindness and with daggers. I'm negative. I'm positive. I'm evil. I'm heaven sent.
My Quotes
I like quotes, made by friends or famous people. To me, they are like memories, reminding us of what we have or what we have become.
I spent all my time avoiding conformity only to become it.
Having a penis is not an excuse to be stupid.
Aren’t you such a catch? What a prize! Got a body like a battle axe. Love that perfect frown, honest eyes, we oughta buy you a Cadillac.
- Get Over It by Okay Go
Your good deeds will not go unpunished.
-Clare Boothe Luce
Nothing is static.
- Chuck Palahniuk
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
- Chuck Palahniuk
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which those who dream only by night may miss.
-Edgar Allen Poe
Real revolution comes from learning. If you're not angry, you're not paying attention.
-Unknown (Found it on the inside cover of a Rise Against CD)
He who has health, has hope. He who has hope, has everything.
-Chinese Proverb found on a glass at Teavana
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
-Icon I had on here forever that I lost the code for
Know Thyself
-Socrates
The unexamined life is not worth living.
-Socrates
You are Karat Gold
-A dear friend of mine when I was on my last sane nerve
Song of the week
Placebo
Broken Promise
They rise above this
They cry about this
As we live and learn
A broken promise
I was not honest
Now I watch as tables turn
And you're singing
I'll wait my turn
To tear inside you
Watch you burn
I'll wait my turn
I'll wait my turn
I'll cry about this
And hide my cuckled eyes
As you come off all concerned
And I'll find no solace
In your poor apology
In your regret that sounds absurd
And keep singing
I'll wait my turn
To tear inside you
Watch you burn
And I'll wait my turn
To terrorize you
Watch you burn
And I'll wait my turn
I'll wait my turn
And this is a promise
Promise is a promise
Promise is a promise
Promise is a promise
And I'll wait my turn
To tear inside you
Watch you burn
I'll wait my turn
I'll wait my turn
A broken promise
You were not honest
I'll bide my time
I'll wait my...turn
So I guess by that bit of rambling I’ve set myself up to pour out my musical tastes. It is a broad range of different things. My top 10 favorite bands of all time? These really aren’t in any particular order, I go through enough phases that my music changes about as much as my emotions do.
1.) Nine Inch Nails
2.) Tool
3.) A Perfect Circle
4.) Placebo
5.) Flogging Molly
6.) Puscifer
7.) Korn
8.) Tech N9ne
9.) Seether
10.) Red Hot Chili Peppers
But that’s not all. If you were to look at what’s in my play list right now, you’d see a variety of genres jumbled into one. I’ve got rock, metal, hip hop, techno, indie, alternative, etc.
Belief Structures of NightBlossom
I’m a relatively open minded person. I love debating topics with people. The point of a debate, to me anyway, isn’t to get the opposing side to change their views. Instead, I prefer to debate on the grounds that my views will at least be considered. I’m not here to change your opinions or views, just to express my own. If you feel it necessary to message me on any of these, feel free.
Pro-life.
There are far too many people in this world that cannot have children. 95% of those people are more than happy to adopt. We could argue that if the abortion is done early enough, you aren’t really killing a soul, but this is one topic I won’t argue or debate. However, there are the delicate circumstances that I myself wouldn’t want to carry a child.
Gay Rights.
What exactly is so wrong with two men or two women getting married, having a family?
Capital Punishment.
Sadly, there are far too many serial killers, child molesters, rapists, and wife (husband) beaters running around taking up our much needed oxygen. Unfortunately the American justice system is far too screwed to ever catch every guilty person or stop accusing the innocent. So this one is highly debatable with me. Either way…the gene pool needs a bit more chlorine.
Euthanasia.
This is difficult for anyone involved in it. A body permanently stuck in pain, but with clear conscience should be able to decide if this is how they want to live forever…your body your choice.
Monogamy.
I don’t believe that “open relationships” are a safe, or healthy thing. If you’re thoroughly convinced that you cannot maintain a stable relationship without having to screw other people, then don’t have relationships. If you’re good at getting people into bed with you, then you shouldn’t have to worry about going a few days without sex. It makes no sense to fall in love with a monogamous person, then tell them you can’t be loyal to them.
Donating organs.
I will not ever put organ donor on my license. Trust me, no one wants mine. I smoke, I drink, I eat junk food, I listen to my music way too loud, and my eye sight technically blows. Now…if my mother were to need a kidney, I’d do what I could to help her out
Emo Tendencies.
Quit cutting yourself up you retard.
Political Views.
I have yet to be able to place myself on any end of the political spectrum. I know I’m not a republican, and I’m not a democrat. So I pretty much land with whatever third party organization I feel would suit this country best.
Pet Peeves
I’m pretty sure that somewhere in this chaotic mess I call my brain, I’m obsessive compulsive. I have weird tendencies and like things particular ways. Like the toilet paper. The loose flap should be facing you, not the wall. Anywhere I go, if this is a problem and I can fix it…you better be damn sure I will. Another thing, I hate being interrupted. I understand that conversation is a series of interruptions. I can handle that. But if I’m in the middle of trying to explain quantum physics and you feel the need to interject with the size of your girlfriends penis, well then you’re just an idiot.
Here on VR, we have that lovely Bite button. I have mine disabled. Why? Because I cannot find a logical reason to start a conversation with people that bite me via internet messages. “Hi.” will get you nowhere fast. If you plan on messaging me, be sure that you have something of interest to say. Those of you messaging me with anything less than 15 words, I use the delete button. Do this continually and eventually I will blow up at you.
Poetry
I’m not a big poetry nerd. In most cases, I would rather read a good book. But there are a select few poets who actually have some of the most brilliant works.
Edgar Allen Poe. One day I want to be rich enough to own a home modeled after the Masque of Red Death.
William Blake, every one of his poems has some sort of ethereal essence to it.
Emily Dickinson, I don’t know what is more tragically beautiful, her life or her work.
Comics
I’m not a gigantic comic fan, but I’ve read my fair share.
I’d definitely suggest reading JTHM and Squee, especially if you’ve never been a big comic fan. Johnan Vasquez is amazingly sick and twisted. Roman Durge does Lenore, another great goth comic.
If you’re looking for more occult oriented comics you can check out DC Vertigo. The Filth and The Invisibles, both by Grant Morrison.
Hellblazer, the comic series that Constantine was based on. And of course, Preacher. At first Preacher seems a bit dull, but no worries, the story line quickly picks up.
Sandman is one that was suggested to me but I only got half way through the first graphic novel.
If you’re going in the direction of more Marvel based comics, such as Spiderman and Superman, etc., a good place to start is with 1602. Again it’s a slow start but its also something extremely amazing.
I personally would like to start reading the X-Men series. But of course, comics aren’t cheap.
Books
I am a bookworm. My grandfather taught me how to read around 2 years old. I wasn’t the best at it but by the time I was 10 I had reached a college reading level. One of my goals in life is to write a book. Just one. I will forever be content if it sells just one copy to someone other than family or friends. Currently, the two books that stay near me at all times are Fight Club and Wicked. Fight Club should be easily recognizable, and yes it was a book before it was a movie. Wicked is the other side of The Wizard of Oz. The story is told from the Wicked Witch’s point of view. Its enlightening as well as captivating. If you haven’t read it yet, I suggest picking it up.
I've managed to drag my ass through reading the Dark Tower series by Stephen King twice, and starting in on a third round. Its his best work in my personal opinion. Its long, it can be boring in parts, but the story line is awesome and one day, I will be able to remember everything that happens in order. Just gotta read it a few more times!
I have discovered the most childish, yet complete entrapping, vampire series. No, its not twilight, sparkly vampires suck. However, the series is called House of Night by P.C. and Kristin Cast. Its still a work in progress with 8 books in current completion. They read fast, they hold your attention, and you will sit there and think, "Why the hell am I reading this teenage drama crap?" But I love them.
Authors that I haven't mentioned that hold a special spot on my eventual library are Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, J.K. Rowling, and too many more to mention.
I have a bit of a soft side and be thankful if you ever reach it because I'm...lets just say stubborn.
This is my soft side.
The more recent loss to my family was my great grandmother, Gertrude Stovich. She was inspirational in the flaw that she was stubborn. The way she presented herself, you always wanted to be like her. Strong at heart and hand. Soft in the same reguard.
The most painful loss I have suffered was my grandfather. If you ever get into conversation with me over this, I will call him "dad". When I was little, i didn't have much of a father figure to look up to. He was it. He was such an intelligent being it inspired me to attempt to reach his IQ level. I have actually passed it and I thank him daily for it. He taught me to read and write, count, etc. He was my grandfather, my father, my teacher, my mentor, my guide, and my hero. He will be greatly missed.-
For those of you that read my profile more than once, you'll notice that the ex part of this is missing. To Chris: Goodbye friend. Thanks for what we had and what I learned.
This following little bit is what I have dedicated to my beloved ones who are passed on.
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel light when you’re gone away
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel light when you’re gone away
--Broken, Seether
This is a poem I found in a (how pathetic) chicken soup for the teenage soul book
When Tomorrow Starts without me
When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see; if the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today, while thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you, and each time you think of me, I know you'll miss me too; but when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand, that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand, and said my place was ready in heaven far above, and that I had to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye, for all my life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die. I had so much to live for and so much yet to do, It seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad, I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had. If I could relive yesterday, I thought, just for a while, I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see your smile.
But then I fully realized that this could never be, for emptiness and memories would take the place of me. And when I thought of worldly things that I'd miss tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heavens gates, I felt so much at home. When god looked down and smiled at me from his great golden throne,
he said "This is eternity and all I've promised you, today for life on Earth is past but here it starts anew. I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last, and since each day's the same day, there's no longing for the past.
"But you have been so faithful, so trusting, and so true, though there were some things you did you knew you shouldn't do. But you have been forgiven and now at last you're free. So won't you take my hand and share my life with me?"
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart, for everytime you think of me, I'm right here in your heart.
---David M. Romano
In loving memory of
David Charles Brown
June 2nd, 1932 - November 3rd, 2002
and
Gertrude Stovich
April 2th, 1928 - June 12, 2005
For anyone that reads this regularly, I have cut out Drew. He is still special to me, I do love him. What's done is done and I will always care about him but not in a way that I once did.
My softest spot belongs to my daughter Kyla. She is the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent child I have known. I will always love her, even when she's coloring on my furniture with my Sharpies.
One more thing...
STAMPING THE VR DATABASE
From here on out, if you receive the stamp and a one from me, this is why.
You stamped the database and your stamp contained one of the following:
1.) "You have fairly rated..." or any variations of said sentence.
2.) "Feel free to return the favor" or any variations of said sentence.
3.) "Feel free to add me to your friends list" or any variation of said sentence.
4.) "Feel free to add me to your favorite journals list" or "Feel free to check out my journals" or any variation of said sentence.
5.) "Feel free to check out my profile, portfolio, or journal" or any variations, implications, or combinations of said sentence.
6.) "Feel free to bite or stalk me" or any variations, combinations, or implications of said sentence.
If your stamp simply holds your name, your house or coven, or "I have rated a 10", I will not bother you with a one.
If your stamp holds a quote, and does not fall into the lines above, I will not bother you with a one.
Feel free to message me with your questions. If they are polite I will answer. If you're just messaging me to bash me or anyone else then take the following steps:
1.) Grab your bottom lip
2.) Pull it over your head
3.) Swallow
Rid us of your useless existence. I won't respond, I won't block you. I won't even make a journal entry about you.
For all of those who haven't gotten it yet.
You are not going against the DMCA Policy. You are not going against the TOS. You are not going against the Privacy Policy. You are not going against anything. I have not been asked to do this by Cancer, any administrators, regents, consuls, procurators, sentorans, or acolytes. I am doing this off my own steam. Stamping the database is ones personal priority.
So why am I rating you a one and stamping you? Read this thoroughly and understand. I'll only say it once. VampireRave is called the Ultimate Resource and Directory for a reason. The Database is what its all about. The Database is the center of VR's gravitational pull. Without it this site would not exist so completely. Cancer's intention was not to create a gothic myspace, it still isn't. The reason you can buy a premium membership is so that he can keep this site running.
To me and several others, by stamping the Database you are disregarding all the hard work and effort that has been put into it. Some of you claim to read through each and every thing you rate there. It is not necessary to hit the stamp button on your way out. It is not even necessary to comment. Sure go ahead and do it if you like. No one is stopping you. Just know that I will be coming by to show you as much respect on your hard work as you have shown for others.
If you would like your one removed, you can message me. Depending on our conversation and your understanding, I may or may not remove the rating. For those of you who think I actually care about my ratings, blow it out your ass sweetheart. I've been on this site for over six years. I have put an incredible amount of effort and construction into this profile. It still doesn't amount to the thing I wish it could be. However, feel free to give a one in return. Don't care baby!
That's all there is to it. If you still don't understand, well, sorry. I'm putting this as simply as possible.
Congrats, you've reached the end of the profile.
