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if anyone reads this im sorry what i did was childish and

didnt mean to cause FATALDREAMER any pain or harassment

on this site she is a honorable woman with a BIG heart and

i must say im sorry for the pain i caused her and for her

losing her job i never ment for that to happen and im sorry.

please keep her in highest respect cause FATALDREAMER is

a good woman and im sorry that i lost her.

BUT IT DON'T MAKE ME PYSCOTIC BY DOING SO I DID IT CAUSE I THOUGHT THINGS WERE OVER BETWEEN US AND WANTED TO MAKE HER MAD I NEVER THOUGHT OF HOW MANY GUYS ON HERE WOULD SEND HER HARASSING COMENTS AND MAKE HER FEEL LIKE SHE WAS IN ANY DANGER I NEVER MENT TO CAUSE ANY HARM TO HER OR FOR FATALDREAMER TO LOSE HER JOB AT DIRECT TV EITHER. WHEN YOU LOSE SOMEONE YOU CARE FOR AND LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IT IS HARD ON ONE'S SOUL. THE REASON I CUT MYSELF WAS I WANTED TO GET HER ATENTION I NEVER HAD ANY PLAN ON GOING THRU WITH IT AT ALL. AL FATALDREAMER COULD SAY WAS ( YOU SHOULD HAVE AIMED BETTER ) AND IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME THE WAY YOU SAY THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE WHAT I DID TO MYSELF. NEVER DID I HEAR ARE YOU OK AND MAYBE AT THE TIME I DESERVED EVEN LESS. WHEN YOU ARE LOVED ONE DAY THEN COMPLETLY SHUT OUT THE NEXT DAY HOW AM I SUPPOST TO FEEL ? I FELT LOST AND HURT AND UPSET LIKE ANY PERSON WOULD FEEL WHEN THEY LOST EVERTHING THAT MENT THE WORLD TO THEIR HEART AND SOUL. I OWNED UP TO THE MISTAKES AND HURT THAT I CAUSED IM NOT PERFECT I ADMIT THAT AND I COULD NOT LIVE UP TO FATALDREAMER 'S EXPECTATIONS CAUSE I WAS DOOMED FOR FAILURE FROM THE BEGINNING CAUSE OF A PRIOR RELATIONSHIP THAT ENDED BAD FOR HER AND I WAS COMPAIRED TO THE PAST AND MISS UNDERSTOOD AND SHE THOUGHT I WOULD FOLLOW THE EXACT SAME PATH THAT THE EX DID LIKE I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE TO CHOOSE MY OWN PATH BUT I KNEW IN MY HEART THAT I WOULD NOT FOLLOW THAT PATH BUT I HAD LOST HER FATH BY THAT TIME ALREADY AND WHEN I NEEDED HER THE MOST SHE WASN'T THERE SPACE WHEN THERE IS 900 MILES OF IT AND ONCE YOU HAVE GOTTEN A GLIMPSE OF HOW DIFFERENT AND HAPPY THINGS CAN BE IT CAN BE VERY HARD ON YOU AND IT WAS MUCH MORE DIFFICULT THAN I EVER EXPECTED AND WAS THE WHOLE ROOT OF MY WORRIES CAUSE ONCE OU ARE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE AND YOU KNOW THEY LOVE YOU IN RETURN IT SHOULD BE ENOUGH BUT THERE ARE TIMES ONE NEEDS TO HEAR THAT FEELING MORE OFTEN CAUSE IN THAT TIME YOU ARE MORE SCARED TO LOSE THAT PERSON AND MORE TIMES THAN NOT THAT FEELING IS MISTAKEN FOR OTHER NEGATIVE FEELINGS ITS NOT A CRIME TO MISS THE ONE YOU LOVE SO MUCH THAT YOU WOULD GIVE UP EVERYTHING JUST TO BE WITH THEM AND HOLD THEM CLOSE TO YOUR HEART. I HOPE ALL WHO READ THIS CAN UNDERSTAND ME BETTER AND KNOW THAT I WILL ANSWER FOR MY REACTIONS AND FOR WHAT I HAVE DONE BUT FATALDREAMER IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN ANSWER FOR HER ACTIONS. I NEVER MENT TO CAUSE HER ANY PAIN AND FOR THAT IM TRUELY SORRY FOR I LOVE HER AND HSE MEANS TH WORLD TO ME STILL. I WISH FATALDREAMER AL THE HAPPYNESS IN THE WORLD AND KNOW SHE WILL BLESS ANYONE THATS IN HER LIFE THE WAY SHE BLESSED MINE WITH HER WARMTH KINDNESS AND LOVING HEART THAT HAS MADE A LASTING IMPRESSION ON MY LIFE THAT I LOVE HER FOR WHO SHE IS GOOD AND BAD SHE IS WONDERFUL ALL THE SAME. SO PLEASE IF YOU COME BY HER PAGE TELL HER THAT I LOVE HER SO WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL.
SINCERLY
ANTHONY