I am fun, spiritual, open minded, a lot of cushion... I also have my serious side. I believe that there are several traits that all people should strive for: Honesty, Respect, Honor and Patience. I strieve for all but do not always make them LOL especially the last.
I awaken to enlightenment 12 years ago;
I once was able to see spirits, souls, beings, whatever word you use to describe those that have left this plain of existence, I was a child and was constantly told I did not see these things and spoke to me and called me their becon to the beyond. As I grew I started closing myself off to their existence, believing what the adults around me told me.
It was not until what I thought was my Great Grand Mother appeared to me when I was 14, that I began again to question the truth of what had been told to me. I still went to church, I even became baptised into the Church of Christ, and was a sunday school teacher for the kindergarten. I again thought I just imagined what I had seen, however I decided to question the deacons and minister about these things, I asked questions about the bible, some of it did not make sense to me, it seemed in many way to contradict itself. After many times being told, "You must have faith and simply believe..." or "That is the devil trying to tempt you from the true path to God..." I finally said why must we simply have faith that the bible is the only way to God when He Himself says that He is a jealous God and that we must not worship any other Gods above Him, does that in and of itself not say that there are other Gods and that He is only one of many?
I was slapped and told that as a female it was not my place to question what God said and I should learn my place. A female does not have the ability to understand the complexities that the bible holds. I continued to attend the church everytime the doors opened, as the home I lived in was owned and sponsored by the church. I was told it was manditory. I continued also to plan my future as I wanted to live it, I made my plans and decided I would accept their charity until I could make my escape legally and with my plan firmly in place.
Then the Fates stepped in and changed the path I had chosen for myself just a few weeks before my 18th birthday and the day I was to sign the papers that would set my plan for my life into action. I started having seizures and was diagnosed as Epileptic, those totally undoing my plans.
A few days after this my birth mother found me and when I turned 18 they could not hold me, and I left with my mother.
I decided then that there was no such thing as "God" . I will continue the story of my life later... In my journal.
