best Q and A Q What is a Yankee?
A The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A The position of the dirt bag.
Q Why is divorce so expensive?
A Because it's worth it.
Q What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
A One US leader.
Q What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A Doughnuts.
Q Why is air a lot like sex?
A Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
A Because Janet Reno is her real father.
Q What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
A 100 people who don't do dick..
Q What do you call a smart blonde?
A A golden retriever.
Q What do attorneys use for birth control?
A Their personalities.
Q What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A 45 lbs.
Q What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
A 45 minutes.
Q What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q Why do men want to marry virgins?
A They can't stand criticism.
Q Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A Because those men already have boyfriends.
Q What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Q What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Q A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade.
Who has the biggest boobs?
A The blonde, because she's 18.
Q What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Q What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
A Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck
Q Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A Mace will do that to you
Q Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A Breasts don't have eyes.
Q Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
A He walks around saying "Yo."
Q Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A A different bar
Q What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A A speech impediment.
Q What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
A They're hiring.
Q What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage…along with a recipe.
Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F.. word?
A Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Q Why is there no Disneyland in China?
A No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
