You aren't sure where you came from. Perhaps your sire did an embrace and run. Or maybe your sire was an outcast himself. Either way, your powers are unique and really don't belong to any clan...or maybe a little from each. Because you of these circumstances, you aren't really sure where you belong. You tend to wander and do a bit of soul searching in your eternal life. Maybe some day...you have a while after all.
So it's me for all my life...
You are a she Satan! You love to promise your
victims the world and then steal their souls
when they least expect it. Way to go!
REALY THIS IS THE WAY I WILL DO IT SOON!!!
Drug overdoses can be accidental or on purpose. The amount of a drug needed to cause an overdose varies with the type of drug and the person taking it.
If you wont to stay alive :
To avoid medication overdoses:
Never take a medicine prescribed for someone else.
Never give or take medication in the dark.
Before each dose, always read the label on the bottle to be certain it is the correct medication.
Always tell the doctor of any previous side effects or adverse reactions to medication as well as new and unusual symptoms that occur after taking the medicine.
Always store medications in bottles with child-proof lids and place those bottles on high shelves, out of a child's reach, or in locked cabinets.
Take the prescribed dose, not more.
Keep medications in their original containers
To discourage illicit drug use among children:
Set a good example for your children by not using drugs yourself.
Teach your child to say "NO" to drugs and alcohol. Explain the dangers of drug use, including the risk of AIDS.
Get to know your children's friends and their parents.
Know where your children are and who they are with.
Listen to your children and help them to express their feelings and fears.
Encourage your children to engage in healthy activities such as sports, scouting, community-based youth programs and volunteer work.
Learn to recognize the signs of drug and alcohol abuse.
Take the quiz: "Method of Suicide"
Overdose
You don't have the guts for anything grusome. Your method of suicide is Drug OverDose.
H. D. - Never More Will The Wind
Never more will the wind
cherish you again,
never more will the rain.
Never more
shall we find you bright
in the snow and wind.
The snow is melted,
the snow is gone,
and you are flown:
Like a bird out of our hand,
like a light out of our heart,
you are gone.
??Which colour of Death is yours??
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i was so clouse to my def one'ce,and now i can see it....
Your dark side is centered around Death. Anger
running through your veins, your soul is
confused between staying or leaving in this
pointless world. All you want is an open
creative mind to go with your lifestyle, no
conditions or judges, just loyalty to each
other, so you can finally live your perfect
exicting world you always wanted, life will
worth something. You will find what you want
when you believe in something more valuable
then death and when you appreciate your life.
One of the best song's for me DOORS :
People Are Strange
People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down
When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange
People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down
When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange
Your element is Fire: Strong, hot tempered,
powerful, and passionate. Well now lets see,
being fire you are quite strong and powerful,
people look up to you greatly and often seek
your protection. You have the ability to gain
many friends and you are always one people can
count on to do what you say you will do. You
are extremely loyal be it friends or family
you'll stick up for them and you are never
willing to put them in a position that could
hurt them. You know what roll you play in life,
leader, and you intend to let people know it.
Not everyone is capable of leadership but you
certainly have the willpower and flare to do
it. You have quite a temper if it shows itself,
one that can often lead you into trouble. Once
your mind is made up there is no changing it
but no one said that was a bad thing.
The Doors:
Moonlight Drive
Let's swim to the moon
Uh-huh
Let's climb thru the tide
Penetrate the evenin' that the city sleeps to hide
Let's swim out tonight, love
It's our turn to try
Parked beside the ocean
On our moonlight drive
Let's swim to the moon
Uh-huh
Let's climb thru the tide
Surrender to the waiting worlds that lap against our side
Nothin' left open
And no time to decide
We've stepped into a river
On our moonlight drive
Let's swim to the moon
Let's climb thru the tide
You reach a hand to hold me
But I can't be your guide
Easy to love you as I watch you glide
Falling through wet forests
On our moonlight drive
Moonlight drive
C'mon, baby, gonna take a little ride
Goin' down by the ocean side
Gonna get real close
Get real tight
Baby gonna drown tonight
Goin' down, down, down
You are an Elite Master, the highest class of
vampire. You stand for power and wisdom. Your
servants are loyal and numerous. Your
overwhelming powers are of a chief element, be
it fire, earth, water, etc. You are a unique of
few. Be proud.
Oscar Wilde - Poem: The True Knowledge
Thou knowest all; I seek in vain
What lands to till or sow with seed -
The land is black with briar and weed,
Nor cares for falling tears or rain.
Thou knowest all; I sit and wait
With blinded eyes and hands that fail,
Till the last lifting of the veil
And the first opening of the gate.
Thou knowest all; I cannot see.
I trust I shall not live in vain,
I know that we shall meet again
In some divine eternity.
What class of vampire are you? (more new images!)
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i new that i'm all about the magic,and now i can feel it....
Even more and more,i'm finely home...
My planet takes my soul up to the stars and i'm alive....
Hecate
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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Some poems i REALLY like:
Emily Dickinson - Taken from men -- this morning
Taken from men -- this morning --
Carried by men today --
Met by the Gods with banners --
Who marshalled her away --
One little maid -- from playmates --
One little mind from school --
There must be guests in Eden --
All the rooms are full --
Far -- as the East from Even --
Dim -- as the border star --
Courtiers quaint, in Kingdoms
Our departed are.
What is the center of your dark core? (updated)
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Emily Dickinson - Suspense -- is Hostiler than Death
Suspense -- is Hostiler than Death --
Death -- tho'soever Broad,
Is Just Death, and cannot increase --
Suspense -- does not conclude --
But perishes -- to live anew --
But just anew to die --
Annihilation -- plated fresh
With Immortality --
Emily Dickinson - Wild Nights -- Wild Nights!
Wild Nights -- Wild Nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!
Futile -- the Winds --
To a Heart in port --
Done with the Compass --
Done with the Chart!
Rowing in Eden --
Ah, the Sea!
Might I but moor -- Tonight --
In Thee!
Oscar Wilde - Poem: A Vision
Two crowned Kings, and One that stood alone
With no green weight of laurels round his head,
But with sad eyes as one uncomforted,
And wearied with man's never-ceasing moan
For sins no bleating victim can atone,
And sweet long lips with tears and kisses fed.
Girt was he in a garment black and red,
And at his feet I marked a broken stone
Which sent up lilies, dove-like, to his knees.
Now at their sight, my heart being lit with flame,
I cried to Beatrice, 'Who are these?'
And she made answer, knowing well each name,
'AEschylos first, the second Sophokles,
And last (wide stream of tears!) Euripides.'
You are a beautiful vampire...You may use your
beauty to get what you want, but most likely
wi;ll not seduce them...but, then again, you
never know...either way, you are the pick of
the litter. Live fast, die beautiful.
You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.
"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life.
She cried a single tear and shed a single drop
of blood upon the earth where she buried it.
From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into
the world."
Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek),
Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian).
The Goddess is associated with the concept of
creation, the number 1, and the element of
earth.
Her sign is the dawn sun.
As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic
individual and people are drawn to you.
Although sometimes you may seem emotionally
distant, you are deeply in tune with other
people's feelings and have tremendous empathy.
Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your
own self. Goddesses are the best friends to
have because they're always willing to help.
Oscar Wilde - Poem: Apologia
Is it thy will that I should wax and wane,
Barter my cloth of gold for hodden grey,
And at thy pleasure weave that web of pain
Whose brightest threads are each a wasted day?
Is it thy will - Love that I love so well -
That my Soul's House should be a tortured spot
Wherein, like evil paramours, must dwell
The quenchless flame, the worm that dieth not?
Nay, if it be thy will I shall endure,
And sell ambition at the common mart,
And let dull failure be my vestiture,
And sorrow dig its grave within my heart.
Perchance it may be better so - at least
I have not made my heart a heart of stone,
Nor starved my boyhood of its goodly feast,
Nor walked where Beauty is a thing unknown.
Many a man hath done so; sought to fence
In straitened bonds the soul that should be free,
Trodden the dusty road of common sense,
While all the forest sang of liberty,
Not marking how the spotted hawk in flight
Passed on wide pinion through the lofty air,
To where some steep untrodden mountain height
Caught the last tresses of the Sun God's hair.
Or how the little flower he trod upon,
The daisy, that white-feathered shield of gold,
Followed with wistful eyes the wandering sun
Content if once its leaves were aureoled.
But surely it is something to have been
The best beloved for a little while,
To have walked hand in hand with Love, and seen
His purple wings flit once across thy smile.
Ay! though the gorged asp of passion feed
On my boy's heart, yet have I burst the bars,
Stood face to face with Beauty, known indeed
The Love which moves the Sun and all the stars!
Amethysts
AMETHYSTS GEMS: GEMSTONE AMETHYST IS VERY USEFULL IN ASTROLOY, VEDIC PROPERTIES, AMETHYSTS HAS MANY HEALING POWERS. AMETHYST IN STARSIGNS ARE ALSO VERY IMPORTANT, YOU WILL FIND HERE ALL INFORMATION ON AMETHYSTS.
This gem is a very attractive gem and is used by many people who are not secured or protected, as it can warn the wearer of the coming accidents or dangers in his coming life. If some one will try to poison or kill the wearer of this gem, then this gem will change its color, and will warn the wearer that he or she is in trouble, and thus will warn the wearer about the threats or troubles coming in his or her life.
You are a flute. You are social and like to take
your chances. You like to spread your wings and
expirience new things. You are high in spirit.
You also like to talk to many people about your
views.
Oscar Wilde - IN THE FOREST
Out of the mid-wood's twilight
Into the meadow's dawn,
Ivory limbed and brown-eyed,
Flashes my Faun!
He skips through the copses singing,
And his shadow dances along,
And I know not which I should follow,
Shadow or song!
O Hunter, snare me his shadow!
O Nightingale, catch me his strain!
Else moonstruck with music and madness
I track him in vain!
she's so like me...
Oscar Wilde - SYMPHONY IN YELLOW
An omnibus across the bridge
Crawls like a yellow butterfly
And, here and there, a passer-by
Shows like a little restless midge.
Big barges full of yellow hay
Are moored against the shadowy wharf,
And, like a yellow silken scarf,
The thick fog hangs along the quay.
The yellow leaves begin to fade
And flutter from the Temple elms,
And at my feet the pale green Thames
Lies like a rod of rippled jade.
Oscar Wilde - Poem: Athanasia
To that gaunt House of Art which lacks for naught
Of all the great things men have saved from Time,
The withered body of a girl was brought
Dead ere the world's glad youth had touched its prime,
And seen by lonely Arabs lying hid
In the dim womb of some black pyramid.
But when they had unloosed the linen band
Which swathed the Egyptian's body, - lo! was found
Closed in the wasted hollow of her hand
A little seed, which sown in English ground
Did wondrous snow of starry blossoms bear
And spread rich odours through our spring-tide air.
With such strange arts this flower did allure
That all forgotten was the asphodel,
And the brown bee, the lily's paramour,
Forsook the cup where he was wont to dwell,
For not a thing of earth it seemed to be,
But stolen from some heavenly Arcady.
In vain the sad narcissus, wan and white
At its own beauty, hung across the stream,
The purple dragon-fly had no delight
With its gold dust to make his wings a-gleam,
Ah! no delight the jasmine-bloom to kiss,
Or brush the rain-pearls from the eucharis.
For love of it the passionate nightingale
Forgot the hills of Thrace, the cruel king,
And the pale dove no longer cared to sail
Through the wet woods at time of blossoming,
But round this flower of Egypt sought to float,
With silvered wing and amethystine throat.
While the hot sun blazed in his tower of blue
A cooling wind crept from the land of snows,
And the warm south with tender tears of dew
Drenched its white leaves when Hesperos up-rose
Amid those sea-green meadows of the sky
On which the scarlet bars of sunset lie.
But when o'er wastes of lily-haunted field
The tired birds had stayed their amorous tune,
And broad and glittering like an argent shield
High in the sapphire heavens hung the moon,
Did no strange dream or evil memory make
Each tremulous petal of its blossoms shake?
Ah no! to this bright flower a thousand years
Seemed but the lingering of a summer's day,
It never knew the tide of cankering fears
Which turn a boy's gold hair to withered grey,
The dread desire of death it never knew,
Or how all folk that they were born must rue.
For we to death with pipe and dancing go,
Nor would we pass the ivory gate again,
As some sad river wearied of its flow
Through the dull plains, the haunts of common men,
Leaps lover-like into the terrible sea!
And counts it gain to die so gloriously.
We mar our lordly strength in barren strife
With the world's legions led by clamorous care,
It never feels decay but gathers life
From the pure sunlight and the supreme air,
We live beneath Time's wasting sovereignty,
It is the child of all eternity.
Sad Fairy
You are a Sad Fairy. You cry, you cut, you dislike other's hateful opinions and abuse yourself when you feel sad. Your arms probably are sore from all of the cuts you made. You are creative, but depressed as well.
why are they all here?could YOU tell me?
Some info about magic and spell's
(more in my Juornal)
HOW DO REAL MAGICK SPELLS ACTUALLY WORK?
There are many varieties of magic, not all of which include the idea that magical spell-casting is efficacious or morally sound. Even in those types of magic where spell-work is taught, there is no general agreement on what magic is, or what it is not.
A theory that accounts for the form of magic called natural magic is that certain objects, including but not limited to natural curios such as roots, herbs, minerals, and animal parts, have within them a certain a-causal link to some realm of human endeavour, often by virtue of their shape, colour, size, or scent. In natural magic, the visible link between a curio's physical attributes and its magical symbolism is called the Doctrine of Signatures. Thus, to give two examples of the Doctrine of Signatures, violet leaves, which look like hearts, are used in love magic, and lodestones, which are natural magnetic rocks, are used to "draw" wealth, love, or luck to the holder. These operations may be carried out with or without reference to religious entities (gods, spirits, saints).
An overlapping, but actually slightly different form of magic involves human-made artifacts -- amulets, lucky charms, talismans, and the like. This form of magic is generally called talismanic magic. Talismans can be made by the magician him or herself but are often prepared for clients by a conjurer, craft-worker, or jeweler. If they are commerically purchases, they must be empowered, fixed, or consecrated for use, and once prepared, they are said to work on behalf of the mage.
A third popular form of magic is called will-based or thelemic magic. Its practitioners tend to disdain natural magic, although they may use talismanic magic as a way to foucus their will-power. Magaicians of this type also have been know to say that performing magical spells is unimportant to them because simply visualizing the performace of the spell is sufficient to strengthen their will-pwer and this bring about the magical results they desire.
Each culture (or social sub-culture) seems to have its own rules regarding the workings of magic, but many of these rules are found in more than one culture. For instance, ritual cleaning and bathing occurs in the magic of most cultures, including urban ceremonial magick (with a k) and Sicilian folk magic (without a k). But some forms of ritual or rule are not as widespread. For example, footprint or footstep magic (performing magical operations on others through use of their footprints, shoes, or by scattering material where they will step on it) is typically an African magical custom, which is found also in African-American magical practice.
For most folk-magicians, symbology is very important. Faith, technical knowledge, precognitive intent, and emotional power fuel belief and confidence in the effects of a culturally appropriate symbological working.
However, once the rules of each system of magic are internalized by the practitioner, a great deal of improvisation may be done for any given ritual or magical job of work. The mark of a good magician in his or hr own school of magic is his or her ability -- to borrow an analogy from music -- to seemlessly improvise a tune within the chord structure of the system being used.
Perhaps magic seems "too good to be true" to you because you have an inflated idea about the practice of magic from the persective of movies or tv shows -- but in actuality, magic is not a cure-all for problems. Rather, it is a way of working with subtle energies, with the natural virtues of plants and stones, with spirits, with -- well, with as many different forms of non-ordinary reality as there are schools of magic, i suppose!
You are sad because of your grief
Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
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SPELLS for SUMMONING THE DEAD
------------------------------------------
SPELL TO DREAM OF THE DEAD
Colin Davies wrote:
To maintain contact at a distance through dreams:
> >
> > Sleeping with a packet of calendula flowers, althaea
> > leaves, and a few star anise seeds under your pillow
> > is said to draw communications from a distant person
> > through the medium of dreams. This means you will
> > dream of them, not that they will necessarily dream
> > of you. It is recommended as a good way to ascertain
> > the state of health and well-being of someone you miss
> > and may be unable to contact directly.
> Hi,
> Would the spell for inducing dreams also work if
> you wanted to dream of someone who had passed away? If
> so, I know someone who would appreciate it.
For contacting the dead in a dream, i have been told that
star anise (not regular anise) seeds, althaea leaves, and
acacia leaves are burned as incense in the room where you
will be sleeping. Add some myrrh resin to the mix, for its
hypnotic qualities. Star anise is used in many "psychic
vision" type formulas, althaea is said to produce "helpful
visions" or to aid one in contacting "good spirits," and
acacia is the prime classical herb for contact with the
dead.
Some folks who wish to contact the dead in trance states
will set out a clear crystal glass bowl of fresh water to
which they add several drops of Florida Water or a type of
cologne made with kananga flowers (a.k.a. ylang ylang
flowers; used in Asia in funerary rites). They then dip a
branch of acacia leaves (the ferny-leaved kind, which can be
used as an aspergillum) into this and sprinkle the water
around as they call on the person to appear to thm in
reverie or in a dream. You could use dried acacia leaves
for this if fresh ones were not available. Performing such
a ritual while burning the above herbal-resin incesne
mixture would be a good way to induce dreams of the dead.
Contact the Dead Spell...
You need at least 5 people to do this, you must draw a pentagram or a purple cloth make sure the cloth is big enough for everyone to sit on. Now have your alter at the head of the pentagram. The alter must have a pentagram on it, with candles on the points, and your chalice in the middle. now have everyone gather round the pentagram on the cloth in the middle put a black candle for protection, and a medal bowl with garlic in it, draw an upside down pentagram and burn it and place it in the bowl with the garlic.
then take your chalice and fill it with red wine not white. Each person take a sip out of it and say protect us. when everyone has done this place the metal bowl and the black candle on the alter have a volunteer lay down across the pentagram with 2 people on the right side and 1 person on the left. have the other person lay in front of the volunteer and rub there temples, and say once.
"(say the persons name) Your eyes are getting heavy, you are going into a deep sleep, you see in your mind (say the person you are trying to contact) her mind is like an open book, read it to us." Then u should take 2 fingers and place it underneath his/or her body and lift him/or her off the ground. And then place them back on the ground. say the persons name who you are trying to contact and they should talk to you. After the are done talking the person should go silent that is showing the person has left. Then you should call the volunteers name and they will wake up. it might help to do a banishing spell after.
Wish spell
This spell has been used many times and the wished things have happened
usually in a short time.
-Needed Supplies-
*1 sheet of quality paper/parchment
*a pen/pencil used in magickal works
*candles (usually white, can change depending on your wish)
Do a relaxation ritual before this and clear your mind well. Concentrate on
the spell not the joy afterwards.
Take the paper/parchment and draw a pentagram in the middle of it. Then draw
a ying-yang symbol in the middle of it. Now write down your wish on the top
of the sheet. Write your wish such as ''make me get rich, make my
mother/friend etc. get healed, make me get 'the thing you want''...
Then fold the sheet 2-3 times and seal it with your candle. Then burn it with
the fire of candle you sealed it. While it turns into ashes, repeat your wish
inside yourself or out loud. When it's all ash,sprinkle the ashes from a
window or such.
'Be careful what you wish for, it can come in any way'
Supernatural Goth
You're into the supernatural and things most people find freaky. You believe in vampires, witches, and weres. You know all about them and may even claim to be one or know one. You're seen as weird to many but you don't care. You're fascinated with the night. You don't care about keeping a gothic look because you know that inside your heart and soul that you are mysterious and dark, and people around you know it too.Normal people tend to not start things with you because you creep them out. Go You!
thay say i'm :
Your Birthdate: November 21 |
Being born on the 21st day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life.
The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental.
There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude.
You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression.
Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing.
You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.
You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters.
Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about.
You are affectionate and loving, but very sensitive.
You are subject to rapid ups and downs. |
Hi,
Some old entries from my JOURNAL.
It would be nice if some of you read it and in messages wrigth what do you think.
(sorry for mistakes)
It's so hard
i just need to go in to my dreams,
to see all that rotten places i live in, and then maybe i could be alive for a moment, or start to feel my soul inside my self...
But realy it's so hard to be somebody and to be nothing at all...
I often ask my self questions - but no one know's who live in side my head and who i talk with, all the time...
Good night...
* * *
Hi,
it's me again. If you wish to read something good,here you go (it's from -"Prozac Nation" )
"I guess the cutting began when I started to spend my lunch period hiding in
the girls' locker room, scared to death of everybody around me. I would
bring my functional black and silver Panasonic, meant for voice recording
and not music, and I would listen intently to the scratchy sounds of the
tapes I'd accumulated, mostly popular hard rock like Foreigner, which,
trashy as it was, sounded like liberation to me. I'd sit there with my tape
recorder, eating cottage cheese and pineapples from a stout thermos I
brought from home (I was, by this time, also certain that I was fat), and it
was a peaceful relief from having to deal with other people, whether they
were teachers or friends.
Every so often, I would sit in the locker room on the floor, leaning against
the concrete wall while my tape recorder sat on the bench, and I would
fantasize about going back to the person I had always been. The reverse
transformation couldn't be that much of a leap. I could just try talking to
people again. I could get the astonished look off my face, as if my eyes had
just been exposed to a terrible glare. I could laugh a bit.
I would imagine myself doing the things I once did, like playing tennis.
Every so often I would make a decision, first thing in the morning as I
headed out the door for the school bus, that I was going to be bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed that day; I would be friendly, I would smile, I would raise
my hand in math class from time to time. I remember those days, because I
could see how my friends got this look of relief on their faces. I would
walk toward them, standing in a huddle in the blue-carpeted hall outside of
the classroom, and they would half expect me to say something like
'Everything's plastic, we're all gonna die' and instead I would just say,
Good Morning, And suddenly, their bodies would relax, their shoulders would
drop comfortably, and sometimes they would even say, Oh wow, you're the old
Lizzy again, kind of like a parent who has finally accepted that his oldest
son has become a Shiite Muslim and is moving to Iran when, suddenly, the kid
returns home and announces that he wants to go to law school after all. My
friends, and my mother for that matter, would be relieved to find that I was
more the me they wanted me to be.
The trouble was, I thought this alternative persona I had adopted was just
that: a put-on, a way of getting attention, a way of being different. And
maybe when I first started walking around talking about plastic and death,
maybe then it was an experiment. But after a while, the alternative me
really just was me. Those days that I tried to be the little girl I was
supposed to be drained me. I went home at night and cried for hours because
so many people in my life expecting me to be a certain way was too much
pressure, as if I'd been held against a wall and interrogated for hours,
asked questions I couldn't quite answer any longer.
I remember being in a panic one day at school when I realized that I could
not even fake being the old Lizzy anymore. I had, indeed, metamorphosed into
this nihilistic, unhappy girl. Just like Gregor Samsa waking up to find he'd
become a six foot long roach, only in my case, I had invented the monster
and now it was overtaking me. This was what I'd come to. This was what I'd
be for the rest of my life. Things were bad now and would get worse later.
They would. I had not heard the word depression yet, and would not for some
time after that, but I felt something very wrong going on. I felt that I was
wrong - my hair was wrong, my face was wrong, my personality was wrong - my
God, my choice of flavors at the Haagan Dazs shop after school was wrong!
How could I walk around with such pasty white skin, such dark, doleful eyes,
such straight anemic hair, such round hips and such a small clinched waist?
How could I let anybody see me this way? How could I expose other people to
my person, to this bane to the world? I was one big mistake.
And so, sitting in the locker room, petrified that I was doomed to spend my
life hiding from people this way, I took my keys out of my knapsack. On the
chain was a sharp nail clipper, which had a nail file attached to it. I
rolled down my knee socks (we were required to wear skirts to school) and
looked at my bare white legs. I hadn't really started shaving yet, only from
time to time because my mother considered me too young, and I looked at the
delicate peach fuzz, still soft and untainted. A perfect, clean canvas. So I
took the nail file, found its sharp edge, and ran it across my lower leg,
watching a red line of blood appear across my skin. I was surprised at how
straight the line was and at how easy it was for me to hurt myself in this
way. It was almost fun. I was always the sort to pick scabs and peel
sunburned skin in sheets off my shoulders, always pestering my body. This
was just the next step. And how much more satisfying it was to muck up my
own body than relying on mosquitoes and walks in the country among thorny
bushes to do it for me. I made a few more scratches, alternating between
legs, this time moving the file more quickly, less cautiously.
I did not, you see, want to kill myself. Not at that time, anyway. But I
wanted to know that if need be, if the desperation got so terribly bad, I
could inflict harm on my body. And I could. Knowing this gave me a sense of
peace and power, so I started cutting up my legs all the time. Hiding the
scars from my mother became a sport of its own. I collected razor blades, I
bought a Swiss Army knife, I became fascinated with different kinds of sharp
edges and the different cutting sensations they produced. I tried out
different shapes - squares, triangles, pentagons, even an awkwardly carved
heart, with a stab wound at its center, wanting to see if it hurt the way a
real broken heart could hurt. I was amazed and pleased to find that it
didn't."
-"Prozac Nation", Elizabeth Wurtzel
I think you know the feeling... the feeling when you dont know when your day starts,when your star dies,when you are lost in your self and in the world you live.when you just... Be here or be dead. this is what they say... but i chose to be dead... They killed my ilusions and this is why there is no me anymore.
(sorry for mistakes)
Good night.
so if i sould talk about my pills and more about me:
If i wuold be ... i would be dead,,,just like her
My dream work
My Girl? she will HELP us ALL !
the next ones are like heaven for me... i just LOVe them... they will never leave you!
#1
#2
#3
and #4
This is not all i wont to show you... till next time, kisses and Good Night!
Video code provided by HotCodez.com
So all my friends say this is my Song(A pill to make you anybody else) you know what i mean.:
Marilyn Manson - Coma White
There's something cold and blank behind her smile
She's standing on an overpass
In her miracle mile
(coma):
"you were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away"
A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself
Her mouth was an empty cut
And she was waiting to fall
Just bleeding like a polaroid that
Lost all her dolls
(coma):
"you were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away"
A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself
sorry i know this is a test. but i just love him ... :) sorry gain :)
You are Pogo. You like keyboards on springs,
plotting the perfect murder and asian women.
You're insane, there's no other way to describe
you.
And more about the magic:
I love tarot Cards, my favorite are Crowleys Deck:
And if sometime you would like to ask something Just:
P.s. a bit of my othere me :DDDD
Sig Sauer P226. Greatest gun ever! Feel special.
Beautiful and reliable but can still scare the
living bejesus outta anyone.
What handgun are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Or am i Just a
Childrens Hospital
~*~ Welcome To MY Madness ~*~
Step #2
Step #3
And then... just ...
... ~*~ I see You.... And I Know What You Think ~*~ ...
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