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I am like no other you have ever met, and no other like me. I am always in and out of time and have been since the beginning and will always be forever more for I AM Eternal, I am, A Dark Angel ..... To know more of me is to live many life times, but, to understand me, takes just an embrace, and I will breath your essence in deep drawing you into my world, My Universe, My Beautiful Insanity.....
If you are looking to Cyber, you came to the wrong place, please move along.
I am more than what you see on the surface... Look deep within and you will see who I truly am.... Take the time to want to know me... I wont make it easy... but If you truly want in, and make the effort... I can give you The Universe...
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Some Music to Enjoy during your Stay, If you wish to take my Journey through Video then you may want to turn this off...
Each Day is but a Lifetime to me..... Everday holds a Mystery of who I am..... I am many things... who I am to you is for you to decide... Love me or Hate me.... you won't Make or Break me..... I Shift and Bend through Dimentions.... Beware.... The Beast Awakens... I Am The Omega
The Broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you
The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
Is there healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you
I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
Barely holdin on to you
I have never been able to find words to describe Myself, So I use the art of Music and Video to express Who I am.... or How I feel, or if I use specific order of play it's to Communicate what I cant find words for........
These Video's best represent the Depths of My Life...
These Video's Represent Where I came from.... The journey I Lived.... and is Now...in the Past...
The Struggles with the Trasnscending From the Past into Now.... These Videos represent the Journey into the change that lead me to where I am Now...... and I still, Struggle with some things, But, The Biggest part of the Battle I managed to make my way through ..... somehow.... Only Angels Know, and ofcourse My Father.....
The Repercussion Of Facing My past in order to make Change... These Video's Represent the Hate and Rage that Consumed me..... Engulfing me deep into the Dark Pits...
My Rage roamed freely.... surounding all that it could with its Darkness causing Fear to all that were touched by it.... I Had No Remorse... and eventually... it began to deminish its self.... freeing me from its clutches more and more... till I took a step forward in the other direction.... Then Hell Broke loose... Not only do I have to face all my Demons that I created.... also I Inherited my Families Generations of Demons... This Video Represents My Battle.... Which took place over many years...
Now we come to the Pending Conclusion of my Master Piece known as my Life.... The Future is unwritin and nothing is for sure in my future, except for one thing, Which is also the one thing that Saved my Life during the War for my Freedom.... which is Love........ Now, for the Video's that Represent that Love...
I struggle each day, looking for who I am and trying to let go of things hiding deep within that don't belong, along with finding pieces I thought were long lost never to be seen again, as I find those pieces I Embrace more of myself, Though I may not seem to be much of anything, I remember who I am, and I see there is Hope to getting that back, and one day soon, I know the Greatness I have to offer...... these Video's represent where I am at now....
Live Each Moment as if you Meant to, Cherish Each Moment as if its your Last, Life can go by So Fast, and before you know it, you missed Moments that you didn't realize till it was gone, No matter what you do you cant get them back, the chance is gone, so if you Live Life to its Fullest in Each Moment,Then Each Day you Live is a Life time and Just One Moment can Last for an Eternity.
Have you ever been so lonely,
No one there to hold?
Pull me in or disown me,
And then climb inside.
My arms are open wide.
Have a look inside.
It is not that I am scared to learn,
Why I'm empty inside.
hold my hand or show some concern,
If I live or die.
My eyes are open wide.
Help me look inside.
I hear the water drip from the faucet.
It's sweetly falling in tune.
I'm gently closing the closet.
I fall to the floor,
and crawl to my room.
The thought of ending it soon...
Just let me sleep in my room.
Hear me cry! cry! cry!
I hear a knock at the front door.
Don't come in!
I try to look at you
But I can't stop shaking.
Leave me alone. Just go away.
Mother I'm so scared.
Empty bed and all of the sheets are gone,
They're wrapped around me and you.
All is quiet but the drop of a gun.
I want to belong...to someone...
But maybe life's not for everyone
If I can't crawl inside of you,
I'm laughing with a broken face
I stumble across my self esteem.
But to picture the pleasure is making me want my space.
Understand...
that God wrapped you like a bow.
But in my head...
There's some shelves that need cleaning,
from basement to ceiling, control.
If what you're seeing is an open book,
that's great 'cause I'm an open book.
But I'm real shy.
There's a part of me seeking and desperately needing to open up.
That's strange 'cause I'm an open book, a confused boy.
I'm an automatic steeple for depressed and lonely people.
My heart while in its cage,
give and not receive a thing,
But the only funny thing is that I don't know how to give myself advice.
I've got this post dramatic thing
I've got this tattoo of a ring that lies
around my wedding finger and that'ss where I want to state this claim.
That I've got to learn to live and dream
before I go and get myself in love.
In love.
Before, before, before I go and get myself in love
There's Zoloft, Welbutrin, there's Paxil that's proven, no side effects.
But the rest left unnamed 'cause they worked like a charm on me.
But when your saving is drying,
you can't stop from crying
you've got to suck it up.
You're not her buttercup,
you're not her favorite book.
And I am an automatic steeple for depressed and lonely people.
My heart while in its cage,
give and not receive a thing,
But the only funny thing is that I don't know how to give myself advice.
I've got this post dramatic thing
I've got this tattoo of a ring that lies
around my wedding finger and thats where I want to state this claim.
That I've got to learn to live and dream
before I go and get myself in love.
In love.
Before, before, before I go and get myself in love
I am Floating endlessly in space, as life strikes the mind and you sift through the ashes of another life, it leaves you Broken and Vulnerable with nothing to grab on to but my Love, I am left in Beautiful pieces scattered across the Universe sparkling like ocean jewels of glittering light as I rain down upon the darkness of this planet.... It is Better to be small and shine than to be Big and Cast Shadows......
Beware of the Things in the Shadows, You just may see Theres Beauty in Darkness..... you just Have to Open your Eyes to see it.... True Beauty is not Perceived by the eye but by the Heart!
The Dragon has Roared, A Warrior Awakens Within my Heart, RAWWRRRR!! The Reign from Above,Fierce Gentle Love!!
There must be some reason, just because is too meaningless, much like when asked why you love the person you love, just because just sais there is no reason but sounds good, to love a smile, the sparkle of your existence in their eyes, the Beauty of the Heart, the scent of their essence, the embrace, the passion, something of feeling, something Real, .... Just Because is an empty excuse!
Torn and Twisted, Lost and Confused, Trailing on a Path of Pain stumbling to the Gates of Eternal Love...
How funny it is that we are all just another aspect of our selves, going around talking to our self, and they say that I'm the one that's Crazy...
Timeline
With blood in my tears
Crying out after all these years
Day after day, I fight this war with blood in my tears
A battle against all my pain and all my fears
Somedays I curl up to die, others are filled with chears
Pushed and pulled in every direction I fight
I still fight this battle, with no end in sight
I hope and I pray for guidance each night
I hold on with all my strength, I pray with all my might
With blood in my tears, my heart burst into flight
In the vast Universe I feel at home, with Darkness and Light
Reality hits, and its gravity slams me into the ground
Twisted and torn, beaten and bruised, without warning, without a sound
This battle I fight myself, pound for pound
Bodies scattered around, ripped and bleeding aspects of my life
With blood in my tears I sit and cry atop of the mound
In all my sarrows and fears, I begin to drown
With no Hope, with no sight of Promise around
So lost, so scared and alone, my searching with nothing found
Through my blood stained eyes, I try to find my way that is blured
I see a light form in the distance, I welcome it, even though it hurts
An Angel reaches out, takes my hand, it's calming and soothing so I follow her.
I lose my grip, I lost my sight
Through Heaven and Hell I fight
With all I have, with all my might
Day in and day out, throughout each night
I battle on through the Brokeness and Fright
The taste of Hope and Promise lingured in my soul
Driving me, guiding me back to an unknown home
I needed this, the power grew strong, Heaven nor Hell could stop me
Again, so lost, torn with lonesome fear, for Heaven nor Hell were my enemies
I have always been my only enemy, and tonight we shall unite
Tomorrow brings Promise of Hope, It's my time now to Fly..
By Dark Angel, Jason..... 8-28-08
Treasures From my Heart
Speachless, is what I am when I think of us.
Truly Amazed, is what I am when I look into your sparkling Eyes.
Joyfull, is what I am when I see your Bright Smile.
Blissfull, is what I am when I run my hand across your Angelic essence.
Mighty Warrior, is what I am when I stand at your side.
Teady Bear, is what I am when you need comforting.
Wings to Fly, is what I am when you need uplifting.
Sonic Boom, is what I am when walls get in your way.
Heaven's Light, is what I am when the Darkness comes clouding around you.
Chilled Breeze, is what I am when you need Refreshing Freedom.
Cosmic Radiance, is what I am when your Love engoulfs me.
Silent Whisper, is what I am Deep in your Soul.
Invisible, is what I would be without you.
Inspirational Love, is what You are in all that I am.
Everything, is what I am when I give myself to you.
Eternity, is what We have when holding eachothers Hearts.
All This and More, comes from that place above words.
Heaven, is the place Time stood still so that I may gather those treasures in a way for you to Embrace.
All that I am, and All that you are,
As two, we swim through the Stars,
As one, the Stars swim among us.
This I know when I breathe in your Essence and our Journey has just started
I give you this to Remaness......................
You still
Hav'nt seen anything yet!
When givin the Chance,
I will Love you Beyond the reaches of Space and Time!
By Jason ... (Valkrean Dragoon)
Life Unraveled
I Walked This World ever so alone
Content with my Path as it was Laid out
I have Longed for Life
I Have Longed for Love
I have Dreamed the Dream of True Love
To Be in love, With that one
This World I Walked Alone in Search
In Search of, That One
In my Walk, Beaten, Burned, and Bruised
In That walk, never to be seen
As I walked I Gave up that Dream
Just at the Thought of what Ive seen, I Scream
I Became Content in my Life, Finally after all this time
After all this Time, Happy and Alone but not Alone.
That Dream I Gave up came Back to me
When an Angel walked into my Life
Walked into My Soul with a Fire that lit my Heart
Though So far away, We are never apart
Alone I sit here, but not Alone
My Heart Pounds Tight
The tears Blur my Sight
This Angel in my Mind Day and Night
I Gave her All I had without a Fight
I Pray for healing, I Pray for Guidance
I Pray for this Angel, with all my Might
I Pray for myself, so that I May Sleep tonight
I Feel this Angel alive within me
Though I cant see her I still look Deep into her eyes
I am Captivated, and drawn in more with each Breath
My Heart Swells Tight, the tears again Blur my sight
This Angel I must set Free tonight
I try, but something inside puts up a Fight
What is to become of this, I Lack the insight
This Battle I Fight is not one from Hell
This Angel From Heaven, in which from she fell
I Know not what to do, but Only Time will Tell
........... By Angel with Broken Wings /Jason ..05/20/07
Never Ending Love
I'd lie for you
I'd die for you
I would pull,all the stars from the sky 1 by 1 for you
I would go to the endless depths of the Universe for you
For you are, The one holding my Never Ending Love
You & I, can fly the heavens,Like 2 glittering dove
That's why you have my Never Ending Love.
I see your face in the sparkling light
Your Golden hair,flickering gracefully in the wind, is a beautiful sight.
I get lost in your eyes of blue, shining so bright
I would, travel to the ends of the world,just to prove it's right
Put your heart in mine & mine in yours,so we can flutter into flight
I'm your Angel of Night,As you are my Angel of Light
If I was ever to lose you, I would swim every inch of the ocean to find you
To find you, I would travel the deep fiery depths of hell
To find you, I would travel every inch of the land
To find you, I would fly every spec of the sky
To find you, If I could not, then I will surely wilt & die
Then my search,will continue on the other side
From the Deepest depths below, to the highest far above
I would never stop searching for the one who holds,
My Never Ending Love
*Inspired by an Angel in my Dreams*
By Jason....10/20/98
Demented Dementions
I feel cold & empty
It feels as if,there's nothing in me
I open my eyes,so I can see
I see a reflection,of my face.
My Blood stained eyes
My old,faded flesh.
I feel peacefully at rest.
But,my face,is such a mess.
I hear a noise,sounds like, flies
The sound seems to be clear now,They seem to be cries
Some,cry in pain & sarrow
Some in joy & happiness.
I see the darkness closing in on me
It's getting harder,for me to see.
I can feel, My body bleed
But, there's so much more that I need.
My last thought, sounds as if it was, greed
Now, I can feel, that I am worm feed.
As I lye here, Under ground, six feet.
I can no longer see
The darkness has taken over me.
I can feel, It's time for me to leave
I feel, myself being lifted in the breeze.
Suddenly, I see a light form around me
And I hear a soft voice speak
I hear it, she sais, There is someone here for you
I take one last look at my reflection.
I raise my hand toward my face filled with discuss
I then, remove it, to find myself, in my room.
BY Jason...5/24/94
Mass Confusion
I'm surrounded by death, day by day
Day by day, I'm living death, Death, living in me.
The light, makes it hard to see Knowing,any day now, I could flee.
Each day now, seems like an eternity.
As the confusion strikes the mind And your lost, endlessly in space
Wondering were to go,or what to do.
Were to go, keep going on through On through, to the other side.
What to do, thats up to you.
Through my mind, is mass destruction This world is full of disturbing corruption.
Everything, striking the mind at once, causes frustration.
The mind, filled with so much creation, is quite the sensation.
The voice in my head, is giving me,the killing sensation.
The curse in me, leaves my life empty Empty, of love, compassion,
but, filled with.....envious hate.
Envious hate, since I cannot fit on this planet.
Cannot fit on this planet, since I'm not the same, But, I will have this world
to.....rule again.
BY Jason.......6/5/94
Scrambled Egg
Death is drawing near
And,this time I have no fear
But,at this point,what of the ones I dear.
I'm so fucked up,I cant even shed a tear.
I ask myself again,why the fuck am I here
Again death is drawing near.But,what death?
Death of sanity? Death of life? Or,the death,for my rebirth?
Or,am I already dead?
All this cyclones in my head
So many things,that can't be said
Am I needed?....live or dead?
All this goes on in my bed.
And still,no tear can shed
There are so many times I've bled
Maybe,thats why,my powers fled
If this madness gets the best of me,everything will be Red ...Blood Red
AHH Blood,the secret to life,the maker of death
The sweet smell Rolling off my breath
A higher high than any meth
Such confusion in my head
Besides,what is the meaning of dead?
I don't think it even exist.
BY Jason...2/25/96
Tortured Thoughts
AHH, Another explosion in my brain
All the shit pile is driving me insane
All this loathing, suffering & pain
All this fucking shit remains the same
Still my twisted, distorted mind is to blame
I hate going on in this hell tormented game
My rage quietly racing more powerful than the locomotive train
Loneliness, is it reality or a dream
God Damn, I just want to scream
Just beat me down & rip out my spleen
So, Lost & confused, Twisted & Torn
I should have never been born
Living this Fucked up life being scorned
Fuck me, Fuck me, What am I, Who am I
Mother Fuckers bring me up & wont let me Die
I should rip out their hearts, Take a Bite, & spit it in their eye
OHH shit, Im so Fucked up, I cant even cry
Why has my life been One Master Fucked Lie
Daily thoughts, Every hour contiplaiting Suicide
Suicide, AHH, many times tried
Many times succeeded & revived
When shall my sanity return
If this continues every thing shall burn
Then those Fuckers will surely learn
Sometimes these things run through my head & I start to become concerned
Concerned,what the hell is my problem. (conclusion pending)
Jason.....10/9/00
I Love playing with energy, This resembles what it feels like inside, Raw Undefined Polarized Energy.
My mind is a Paradox, it would take much more than the days you have left let alone a few writings in an email to get a taste of how it works, I will make it simple, I am connected into the uncontainable Mysteries of life, accepting with out needing detail and letting be what is and not trying to put it in box's stripping it of it's True meaning, Beauty and Power, my words I speak are from Passion within my Heart, there is no method of operation, I Am who I Am, I do not follow others, I am not programed to be what others want me to be, I Am Endless, I need not to impress others, I just stay True to myself at any cost, That is what makes me who I am, I am not my Mind and its workings, I Am that I Am, Raw, Undefined polarized Energy, continually learning and growing.
(The Dictionary's Explanation of Paradox:
A statement that seems contradictory or absurd but is actually valid or true. According to one proverbial paradox, we must sometimes be cruel in order to be kind. Another form of paradox is a statement that truly is contradictory and yet follows logically from other statements that do not seem open to objection. If someone says, “I am lying,” for example, and we assume that his statement is true, it must be false. The paradox is that the statement “I am lying” is false if it is true.)
This is a Drawing I did recently, some reason for as long as I can remember I have drawn symbols like these, though I never seen them any where else until I was much older.
I am of Darkness and Light, My Beauty doesn't reside in just one alone but in the balance of the two, I tend to sway from one extreme to the other, but, thats where my Angel comes in and brings me back home..... I would be in total Chaos if it was not for her.... The World would not be a safe place for me or any one else....
In a darkened room
Beyond the reach of gods faith
Lies the wounded, the shattered
Remains of love betrayed
And the innocense of a child is bought
And sold
In the name of the damned
The rage of the angels left silent
And cold
Forgive me please for I know not
What I do
How can I keep inside the hurt
I know is true
Tell me when the kiss of love
Becomes a lie
That bears the scar of sin too deep
To hide behind this fear of running
Unto you
Please let there be light
In a darkened room
All the precious times have been put
To rest again
And the smile of the dawn
Brings tainted lust singing my requiem
Can I face the day when im tortured
In my trust
And watch it crystalize
While my salvation crumples to dust
Why cant I steer the ship before
It hits the storm
Ive fallen to the sea but still
I swim for shore
Tell me when the kiss of love
Becomes a lie
That bears the scar of sin too deep
To hide behind this fear of running
Unto you
Please let there be light
In a darkened room
You aren't sure where you came from. Perhaps your sire did an embrace and run. Or maybe your sire was an outcast himself. Either way, your powers are unique and really don't belong to any clan...or maybe a little from each. Because you of these circumstances, you aren't really sure where you belong. You tend to wander and do a bit of soul searching in your eternal life. Maybe some day...you have a while after all.
