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Quote: Most People Want To Be The Sun That Brightens Your Day. But I'd Rather Be The Moon That Shines Down On You In Your Darkest Hour.
My name is Tayler Rae. Let me just say that in no way, will a online page tell you who I am. It can only give you an IDEA. But for everyone else. You guys know who I am, do me a favor. Don't try to change it. You won't succeed.
So here goes.
I'm not like other girls, I'm real, genuine, and honest. Let's just say I used to be pretty dumb. But I've finally found myself and have started getting my act together. Well I take that back. I've finally realized that life is not about finding myself, it's about creating myself. So I've started creating who I am, and who I want to become. Though I'm nothing more than a teenager, I have learned many valuable lessons in life that have been proven true from my experiences.
So. I guess I'll start off with how my past has made me into who I am today. I grew up in a pretty shitty household. My mom was fine, but my father was...well pretty much just an asshole. My older brother Michael never really hid the fact that he didn't like me (that's changed now). But I still looked up to him. Alot of children have lives far worse than me I'm sure. But my past is extremely personal. I'm not going to blab my guys out to you on my pages. If you're a close, personal friend that I feel I can trust, someday you will know the truth. My past truely has changed me forever. It's true when they say "what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger." But I have news for you. Just because I was able to survive it, DOES NOT mean it was ever okay.
My teenage years. Well, just like any other "normal" teenager,(whatever that is)I went through stages. Just like most, I hated going to school, having to do chorse, having a curfew, etc. Dealing with the stress of school, family life, and teenage romance, it's said I became "depressed". It got to the point where they began reccomending that I see someone. At first I was horrifed, and refused to do anything. After awhile, it turned out to be an amazing friendship. I began dealing with my stress, and I learned how to cope with my issues that came up. After getting through my junior high and moving onto high school, I learned quite a few lessons that have helped me mature into who I am today. Every story has an end, just like my "depression" had an ending. But in life, every end, is just a new beginning. Just like with me.
After getting through my "depression" I changed into an entirely different person. I became the bubbily, little blonde girl, you all know by the name of Tayler Rae. I'm 17 years young and a senior attending Taylor High School. Yeah I know, Tayler form Taylor. Don't say anything. I get enough shit for it. I've learned a great deal of information about life regardless of my age. I'm sure many of you are thinking I'm full of it. That's okay. I will tell you what I've learned later. Let me start off by reminding you that I'm not the same girl I described before. I've learned many lessons in life from my experiences and I still remind myself of them on a daily basis. I've learned that strength is nothing more than how well you hide the pain. I don't wear my emotions on my shoulder for everyone to see. I also don't flaunt my shit for others to see. But just because I don't flaunt it for everyone to slobber at, doesn't mean I don't have it, it just means I have a whole hell of a lot more class than a nasty hoe bag slut. As most of you know, well people I trust know. I'm not the normal, average everyday "human". Recently I've learned that I'm a Medium. For those who don't know what that is, it is basically having the ability to contact spirits and talk to ghosts etc. Ontop of that I'm Wiccan. I have a special connection with my Goddess that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. She has given me special gifts that I cherish. She has given me the affinity for the elements. I know it's hard to believe, I was shocked at first as well. But I've learned to accept there is a reason she has given me these gifts and I use them wisely. I'm unique. That's how I'm going to explain it. I have made mistakes in life, that's how I've learned so much in such a short time. However, these mistakes I've made and the ones I'm going to make in the future, will not be explained to ANYONE. My friends don't need it and my enemies won't believe it. And yes, I do have enemies, not because I'm a hateful hoebag slut or anything. But only because I was willing to stand up for something in my life. Only because I don't let people talk shit about me without confronting them. So, to the enemies I have and the ones yet to come. I have just one thing to say to you: Keep walking, keep talking, keep smiling, because you know that you can't do what I do. Keep staring, comparing, thinking what it would be like to be in my shoes..You can't live with what I've gone and am going through. Don't hate me unless I give you a reason to, don't judge me until you know the whole story. As I said before, I do make mistakes. I'm not perfect, but I'm always me. because wanting to be someone else would be nothing more than a waste of my life. I'll respect those who respect me and forget those who forget me. I live my life differently than most. Some see it as living life to the fullest, others see it as irresponsible, immature and crazy. Well, all I'm going to say to that is: Me crazy? Yeah..maybe..but you won't forget me. I threaten my computer, tell the TV what to do, yell at my hairbrush and talk to things that can't talk back...but my friends still love me. I will always be who I truely am on the inside, because in the end, I know it's all that matters. Half of the time I'm a total mess. But I've leanred to let nothing get in my way anymore. Drama is just how other people make themselves feel better. So I stay out of it, and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm proud of who I am, and who I'm becoming so I don't need to belittle people to make myself feel better. Life is about living the moments you can't put into words, I say what I think and I always mean it. I give everything I have and I take chances, but regret nothing. I've learned that life will never be easy, it will fuck me over countless times but I just have to live it.
As I said earlier, I'm a senior attending Taylor High School. I always thought the day I could say "I'm a senior" couldn't come soon enough. I'm going to be in my 12th year of school, and there is still so much more I need to learn. You know, I have a story for you. Some parents tell their children they need wealth to succeed in life; love, romance, things like that. My mom always told me that happiness was the "key to life". Towards the end of my junior year, my english teacher gave us the assignment "What do you want to be when you grow up" my essay was based on that I wanted to be "happy" He tried telling me that I didn't understand the assignment. So I tried telling him that he didn't understand life. I've tried explaining this to many teachers, but they give me that "what could this teenager possibly know about life" look. No I don't know everything about life. But I do know quite alot considering my age, no thanks to school. That's another thing. You go through 12 plus years of school, you have to realize, they really don't teach you anything about life. They teach History, Science, Mathematics, and Literature. That stuff is all good, but they don't teach you: How to walk away from love. How to mend a broken heart. How to udnerstand someone. How to deal with stress. How to comfort someone who's hurt. Or what to say to someone who's dying. School really doesn't teach you shit.
You know, everyone says that love hurts, but that's not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses these things with love. But in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again. I just so happen to be in love. With someone named Joseph Michael Turner. So this part is for him =]. I'm not perfect, I'll annoy you, piss you off and say stupid stuff then take it back. But put all of that aside, you'll never find a girl that cares and loves you more than me but these struggles will only pull us closer together. When I tell you I love you, I don't say it out of habit, or to make conversation. I say it to remind you that you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't know where I stand with you, and I don't know what I mean to you, all I know is that everytime I think of you, all I want to do is be with you. I know I make mistakes and I'm sorry for that. But there's no other thing I can do but apologize for that and let you know that I love you with every fiber in my body. To everyone else that has a problem with this here's what I have to say. I may not be his first, his last, or his one and only. He's loved before and he can love again. But if he loves me now, what else matters? He's not perfect, and I'm not either, and the two of us, NEVER will be perfect. But if he can make me laugh at least once, cause me to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, I'm going to hold onto him and give him the most I can. He's not going to quote poetry, he won't be thikning about me every moment of everyday. But he has given me a part of him that he knows I could break. I won't hurt him, I won't change him, and I won't expect more than he can give. I'll smile when he makes me happy and yell when he makes me mad. And I'll miss him when he's not here. So with that said. I love you Joseph Michael Turner ♥
So that's a bit about me. Wanna know more? Feel free to message me
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