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My name is Jan, im 15 years old in case you suck at maths and couldnt figure that out from my b-day. Im a student in high-school. My average day consists of biting my tongue so that i dont tell my teachers exactly what i think about them and where they should stick all those punishments that they like to give out so much. I dont like my teachers and they dont like me. aw well. Ive decided to put my life story and some other things that i think are important. It will give you a little insight to what kind of person i am and if you wish to contact me.
BIO:

I was born 15 years ago as an only child to two people- my mother and father (crappy start but oh well). My father was at that time still a sargeant in the military and my mother was unemployed because she was carrying me. I guess the time when i was an infant it was the best time of my life, still so oblivious to the cold reality, still so carefree. When i got a little bigger and older -about 5 or 6 years of age- i noticed just how much my parents hated each other. My father was an honest guy, but my mother wasnt so innocent. When she was about 15 she got hooked on drugs and it marked her for life. She was addicted to them for about 15 years and stopped when she got pregnant, but i think she started soon after i was born. My father and mother constantly fought because of all things, from how to raise me, to financial issues and such. You can imagine that that wasnt an easy thing for a 5-year kid to take in. I kept wondering if they were fighting because of me and that i brought only anger and sadness to them. I remember how many times i just sat on my bed hugging my teddy bear and crying, blaming myself for what was happening. After i got to school at 7 years of age things got a little better. I spend my noons in school and my evenings at my grandmas so that i didnt have a long trip to school the next day. I felt relieved not having to listen to my parents fighting so often. I became best friends with a kid named Luke and there wasnt a thing that we wouldnt do together. Study together, play together, heh, even having sleepovers. All was well until 3rd grade when the kids at school started picking on me. I could have taken that and it didnt bother me much, but the things that bothered me the most was that Luke was the one who actualy started picking and teasing me. It really hurted, i felt betrayed, stabbed in my back by my best friend. I never told anyone about it, and i was lonely all the time. I felt like the whole world was against me. The teasing continuing through the whole 3rd and 4th grade. In the 5th grade i just couldnt take it anymore and one day i just bursted out in rage and beated up some of the kids that were teasing me. It felt good, finally getting my payback on them. Well, after that i gained a little respect and they didnt tease me anymore, but unfortunately i also attracted the attention of a bully. I wasnt being teased anymore, but i often got into a fight with the bully. It was like that until 7th grade. I really changed in that year. I started using a new hairstyle, clothing style and such and gained a few friends. Even a couple of gf's, but nothing serious. But even if at school everything was finally good, my parents werent any quieter. Still they fighted, still i blamed myself, still i was depressed because of it. And then in the 8th grade i met her. Alison. We fell in love, seeing just how great of a match we made and i just knew that i could have spend the rest of my life with her and be happy. But the trouble with wanting something also comes the fear of losing it, or never getting it. And thats what happened. Unfortunately Alison was suffering from depression, her family was also falling apart like mine and a couple of her friends died at the same time. Nothing i could say or do could have cheered her up even a little. And so, she killed herself. I was broken, driven mad with anger and sadness and i closed myself up completely. My family falling apart any Alison's death driving me to the edge....litteraly. I went to the top of a 19 storey building, ready to leap off. As i look back on those moments frozen in time i remember what i thought at that time. Have our choices been made because of who we are? Are we destined to a certain path and nothing that we do can avert the fate meant for us? If you look back on your life it will resemble a forked lighting, each split representing the decision you made. The illusion comes afterwards when you ask what if? What if you made something different? If you would, then the person at the end wouldnt be you, but someone else, asking a different set of questions. I stood on the ledge for i dont know how long until i finally slowly stepped away from the edge, crumpling on the floor, breaking inside, dying and living again, remade. It was that when i realised that i dont want to be dead, that i dont wanna die after all ive been through. It would have been the cowards way out to simply jump off and end it all. The true strength being to be able to face life and it was then when i was determined that i will face it, no matter how much shit it throws at me.



Some general things about me:

Name: Jan
Last name: you wouldnt get it if i told you
Hair: brown, swept back
Eyes: brown
Height: 185 cm
Weight: 75 kg
Build: average
Starsign: Gemini
Profession: Student
IQ: 137
Mental issues: Supposed sociopat
Dreams: reoccuring nightmare
Pets: none at the moment
Sexual orientation: straight, curious, slightly bi, etc. etc...
Race: Caucasian
Worst fear: I dont think i have one
Smoker: Quit..yay
Drinker: On occasion
Drugs: Weeeeeed
Thief: Ive stolen a little money (opportunity makes thieves)
Dependable and thrustworthy: Sure
Instruments: none
Tatoos, piercings: none
Suffer from depression: nope....well, sometimes
How would you wanna die: fall from height
Tried to commit suicide: Does standing on the edge of a skyscraper with the intention to jump off count?
Ever caused harm to yourself or others: HAHAHAHAHAHA of course
Subculture: not that i know of any
Evil: only if you get on my bad side
Can you be possesed: no
Paranoid: no
Ever get jealous: sometimes
OCD: no
Violent: If occasion calls for it
Do you take your anger on others: If they deserve it
Blame others for your mistakes: No
Would you kill anyone: Yes
Virgin: Not anymore
Kinky: Define 'kinky'
Like bitting: Havent tried it
Do you masturbate: Yes
Do you watch Pr0n: Yup
Dyed your hair unusaly: Navy blue on new years ( Every year )
Hyper-active: No
Religious: No
Does pain turn you on: depends
Like originality: Yes
Like meeting new people: Yes
What do you like about your life: It's moving.
Beleive in love at first sight: Yes
Scars: Left shin, fell from a second storey house in a bush of roses
Ever been fired from a job because of your attitude: Yes
Ever been to jail: Almost
MSN id: agentjase009@yahoo.com
Favorite movie: Fight Club
Favorite game: Too many to choose from
Favorite number: 2
Favorite book: Bus chart
Favorite car: Toyota Celica
Favorite actor: Edward Norton
Favorite activity (day): playing games
Favorite activity (night): being outside
Things i like: Pale moon on a clear black night, a stormy day, a cloudy day, people who dont bother or pesker me and computer
Things i hate: Overly sunny days, people that are annoying and fakers. and posers. But what i hate above all else, above everything is the big goddamn corporations who think they can dictate the way i live my life.
Favorite colors: black, dark blue, city grey
Favorite place on Earth: a hill overlooking my birth city
How much are you worth on HumanForSale.com: $1,843,064

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Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||| 36% Stability |||||||||||||||| 66% Orderliness |||||||||||||| 56% Accommodation |||||||||| 36% Interdependence || 10% Intellectual |||||||||| 36% Mystical |||||||||||||| 56% Artistic || 10% Religious || 10% Hedonism |||||||||||||||||| 76% Materialism |||||||||| 36% Narcissism |||||||||||||| 56% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 76% Work ethic |||||||||| 36% Self absorbed |||||||||||| 43% Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 50% Need to dominate |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Romantic |||||||||||| 50% Avoidant |||||||||| 36% Anti-authority |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Wealth |||| 16% Dependency |||||||||| 36% Change averse |||||||||||||||||| 76% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||| 76% Individuality |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Sexuality |||||||||||||||||| 76% Peter pan complex |||||||||| 36% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Physical Fitness |||||||||||||| 57% Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 63% Paranoia |||||||||| 36% Vanity |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 50% Female cliche |||||||||| 36%

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Your dark side is centered around Destructive
Power. A strong powerful castel built above
broken fragile glass, behind this setteled
confident look there is a beautiful, innocent
child waiting for someone to play with. All you
want is an independent caring soul, completes
you, no more lies or worries, just a strong
connection bonded by trust so you can feel
special and confident, find a new meaning for
everything, life will be almost perfect like
you want. You will find what you want when know
that life is not always like we want it to be.


What is the center of your dark core? (updated)
brought to you by Quizilla


You are sad because of your grief

Business minded and a natural leader, you are a canidate to be embraced by the Ventrue clan. You can be rather dominant with a high stamina however, you tend to have obsessive compulsive tendencies...especially when it comes to your food. You are the clan the others look to organize groups and factions. Generally princes are among this clan. What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?

---

Ras Kass-Interview with a vampire lyrics

Ras Kass:
You want to talk to God? God never sleeps.

Chorus
Ras Kass: Now what came first the chicken or the egg?
God: Armageddon.
Ras Kass: A arm a leg a leg a arm a head.
Headin in your direction.
The riddle was the answer to the question.
Born of the flesh what is perfection

Ras Kass:
Inside my mother's womb doomed to return to the tomb.
Or was it from the dead I was raised?
All too soon to pay, on judgement day,
Is this beginning or the ending,
Died sinning, still winning, still grinning.
This ending, verdict still pending, born pretending,
Three-hundred billion men, women, and children.
Deja vu, could be I'm dreaming,
But we all ask for divine reason,
While still breathing, and until leaving.
Who?, What?, When? Where?, How?
But most of all why?

God:
Why what?

Ras Kass:
Do we live just to die?

God:
The Book of Haden.
Way before the after God pitting heads.
No God for me, mathematically, in division.
My decision was all inventions.
I need not mention infinite dementions.
But the human mind's flaw was limited comprehension.
So while you try to travle to Mars and the stars,
The God manifests through the entire universe.
>From the Sun, Moon, the Earth.
I created man in my image and the black man was first.
The scientific explanation, yea I made man out of dirt.

Ras Kass:
But how can a man be first, when its the woman that's giving birth?

God:
Listen, single-celled organisms.
The homosapien, the albanein

Ras Kass:
What's that?

God:
White people.

Ras Kass:
They keep the world seperate and unequal.

God:
The teach you, right is wrong, wrong is right.
Up is down.
Teaches King Arthur's throne, is the planets that are round

Ras Kass:
Can we really time travel, and is there life in outer space?

God:
Wait, you knew all this in the first place.
You tryin to get to God.

Ras Kass:
But, I've fallen from your grace.
A billion paths to take, but which one is truly straight?

Chorus

Ras Kass:
Can you walk across water or rise from the dead?
I heard he said he lived, and the son of man bled.

God:
Its a process, shit dont just happen, I create it.
Everything you see, and shit you dont, son I made it, and waited.
I'm the big bang theory and evolution.
Been there, done that, from revolution to prostitution.
The first and final solution.
The quaran, bible, and vedas, is only tools,
dont be confused when the medula oblagada do

Ras Kass:
Oh, so revelations is Genesis.

God:
Three-sixty degrees are limitless.

Satan:
Shit, my motherfuckin nemesis.

Ras Kass:
Who is you?

Satan:
Son, I thought you knew.
Who else? Lucifer, the lie bearer stupid, the devil himself.
He the creator, we all the creations, guess i'm eternal damnation.
Got you bitches seaking your own salvation.
Who taught you how to pray?
You read it in the book, look, your bear witness to Amen Ray.
Every day when you say Amen, and then turn around and preach worshipin false
Gods,
Is an unforgettable sin.
Yea the good book is like comic books,
You take 'em too literal,
I tricked you in to believin' the power to reason,
Makes you able to live infinitely, in the physical.
Guess I'm the pawn com lyrical.
Basically I tell true lies in general, the yin and the yang
The player with a trillion years of game.

God:
He got you sellin your spiritual, for power, monery, and fame,
I came out of tripple stage darkness, gave mortals my attributes.
But even you may be a mystery God like the lockhead,
A used sign to prove or disprove my existence.
Tryin to align this, artificial intelligence, cloned in a space station,
Tryin to build the tower of babylon.
But you savages stake me, when I start erasin homosapiens.
You lookin for an angel with wings,
I'm 'a bring young niggas with a ak, fuck a alien.

Ras Kass:
So what you sayin is, you the one that created sin.

God:
What you call mother nature, was the nature of me.
What you call evil, ultimately, was the force inside of me.
Matter cant be created or destroyed it just changes shape.
One God, many people, and many faith.
And this is how I wanted to do 'em.

Ras Kass:
Wait, wait, hold up.
Father tell me, who is God's son?

Chorus

God:
I be the Jesus to your Buddah, the Chrishna at your Junah,
The big kahauna, Jehova Witnesses, suede pumas.
Zuese, Pharoah, Elohim, Saturn, Yaweh Jiah,
Arastifa Rah, Allah, the most powerful.
But then, only Adam and I.
I'm the oceans, the trees, a bumble bee, and a glock.
Earthquakes, how much money you ever take.
The reason behind every mistake mankind continually makes.

Ras Kass:
Did God create man, or did man need to create God?

Satan:
The answer is both, cause how mortals look at God is odd.

God:
You try to customize me to be comfortable.
For what you want to do, and how you choose to act.
The Roman Christians will tell you God aint black.
But to get something from nothing is physically impossible, thats a fact.

Satan:
Black is the combination of all colors

Ras Kass:
White is the lack thereof.


God:
Darkness is beneath the ground, and in the skies up above.
The clue, is that the true illumination is me, not illuminati.
Cause I alone discriminate,
Any who be believing they can rationalize our out reason me.
Who created your creature, sutdent can never be greater than the teacher.
Wether its Adam and Eve, or atomic chemistry.
I'm the one true source of all energy.
Who will evantually destroy every enemy when I see fit.
I cant blaspheme my own name so when Goddamnit, so be it.

Satan:
Thats called the wrath of God, but we gotta deal, I can chill
Fuck up the whole world, and in the end,
He'll still fulfill his plan, to return man to his original position.
Nigga gave me some hooks, and said I gets to go fishin.

God:
I gave man doiminion over the Earth, to master the wealth.
But most of my children dont have dominion over theyself.

Satan:
Thats where I come in.
Call it original sin.
Well, who really gives a flying fuck?
I taught you how to blood suck, and ultimately self destruct.

God:
Know the ledge, wise the dome, do the data.
I'm the alpha.

Satan:
I'm the beta.

Ras Kass:
And I'm omega.
To be or not to be was man's question since conception.
I think that for our end, was man's preception.
But the birth is the ressurection.
The son of God, or God's son, that lights our entire spectrum.
You got everlasting life, long as you got day and night.
Illumination, not education, to bring the blind sight.
And what you need to know is that you'll never know it all.
I'm a lowercase g, son of the ever-living God



Latest news:

Hah, haven't been on here for months so....I'll sum stuff up. First off, got through my first year of high school, go me! Second, lost virginity, yay. Third, Turned sweet 16, t'was cool. Other things i don't really find important to share or don't want to. Just making my way through life. See yas!

Well, thats about it for my profile, i keep updating it like on a daily basis.. Ask for any additional data. Oh and feel free to message me. I can always make room for one more pal and if you happen to add me on your friend list, let me know. I hope youll rate this profile and even though i may have gave you a 9 or heaven fobid and 8, dont feel bad. After all, im too low of a level to maky any serious impact anyway. So get off my case.